I use to be afraid of death in my teenage years. I had severe anxiety and panic issues for about 12 years or so, didn't really finally conquer it until my last year in college. I did a whole lot of therapy and eventually I learned to accept my mortality. I'm 37 now, have my wife, a 3 year old and 1 month old. I'm having the time of my life but at the same time trying to figure out how to best balance out my career ambitions. We grew up poor raised by my uncle and grandma and now although I'm not rich, I can say that I've done well for myself. I'm trying to make sure and not to overwork myself. I remember early in my career I use to get down really easily if I didn't meet a goal. I did have an ******* of a manager as well that made sure to make me extra miserable. In my early 30s I transitioned to another company and stopped trying to make everyone happy and I've learned to not give a **** as much. I still give a ****, but now I don't let it get me down, I just remember that tomorrow is another day. I do have a stressful career though, so we will see how much longer I decide to last in this career, I keep telling myself I should be able to do it till my my 50s but who knows, maybe I call it quits earlier. Currently I'm trying to do better about my health. I am overweight but I do like going to play ball and love playing with my kids. I don't think I'm so afraid of my mortality, but I do want to make sure I am there for my kids as long as possible. I do get checked myself more often now rather than ignore things and do try to take a breather every now and then. It's a hard balance since sometimes you just want to go 100 miles an hour. I think I've started accepting more that I will make mistakes and not everybody is as successful as they try to make themselves seem to be.
It's pretty simple for the both of us. Nice marmot. I guess we can't all have pocket dogs? "You want a toe, I can get you a toe, with nail polish. There are ways...you don't want to know about it. I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon." "Nihilism, huh? Say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, at least it's an 'ethos'."
I absolutely freaked out for about 48 hours on my 28th birthday. On that day, I realized I was out of my mid-20s and my first gray hair appeared. After being miserable I decided I was being stupid and just went on L-I-V-I-N. No birthday has been a big deal since. That said, I'll turn 65 soon enough and we'll see what that means. With retirement and doing all the financial planning in case I live past 80, death has been on my mind a bit. I figure I can plan on 15-18 active years left, but my main concern is Mrs. rimrocker. I don't want to get to a point where I can't do anything but she is still able. I've seen too many women be stuck for years taking care of a deteriorating husband when they should have been out enjoying life and they end up hating their spouse in some ways. If I sense that, maybe I'll walk (or wheel) out on the ice and let a polar bear take me. As for kids and grandkids, one major obligation we have is to teach them to not fear death, to gracefully accept the death of others, and to die with integrity. You see some things with a lot more clarity as you get on the back end of life and I just hope I handle it well enough to be a good example. Oh, and also read a lot and keep your mind active. The only fear I have is Alzheimer's/dementia because that is a huge burden on your loved ones.
Here are a few of my thoughts. #1: Everything in existence is transient and subject to change — whether physical objects, emotions, thoughts, or life itself. This is an ancient Buddhist concept. No matter how bad you feel today (or good), it'll change soon. The Stoic philosophers understood this too. Keeping this in mind helps to stay regulated. #2: Read "The Good Life" by by Robert Waldinger. Basically, the key to a meaningful and healthy life is by building and maintaining strong relationships. The one thing nobody can take from you is your relationships and your experiences. So starting today, do something everyday to build stronger relationships. #3: Read "The Happiness Curve: Why Life Gets Better After 50". Basically, midlife sucks no matter if it is the year 1625 or 2025 or even if you are a chimpanzee. Life is best at 18 and 70. It's an inverse bell curve. So the bad news for you is that at 40, you haven't hit rock bottom yet. But the good news is the second half of life gets increasingly better.
As Marvin Zindler used to say. “It’s hell to get old.” I would focus on staying as healthy as possible. Your later years are much more enjoyable if you are healthy. Take care of your teeth and your feet. Stay fit and trim by being physically active. Start doing this now and you will be glad you did many years from now. As I’ve grown older I’ve become more accepting of what will come, but I’m focusing on today. I’m controlling what I can control at this moment in time. I try not to think about what I can’t control.
Anxiety and depression are byproducts of a stagnant lost spirit. Also worldly things like processed food and sugar exacerbate these symptoms. The Bible tells you how you should live.
My dad passed away at 55. About 11 years ago. I just turned 39, and sometimes I'm like "man, I only have 16 years left...maybe". I really just try to think about what legacy I want to leave. What I can give to kids and grandkids that I don't even have yet. I feel like when you're the change in your family tree, that's all you should be doing. We have our fun, obviously, but that's the goal in the back of my mind all the time.
Sorry, bro. That sucks. What was the cause? Was it something you can avoid? My grandfather was a lifelong smoker and died at 63 from lung cancer. I was 12, and I swore (even before that) to never smoke, and I never have. You can avoid most diseases via healthy habits. Not all, but you will be surprised if you get something, rather than expecting it.
I think a part of this is anxiety which many go thru in their 40s as kids near adulthood and what you thought was your purpose gets tossed up - Please consider relaxing with "brown noise" on Spotify and focus on what you enjoy - I know it sounds crazy but something about brown noise that absolutely eases concern ... also remember people live to be 90/100 easy - tons of life ahead especially if you take care of your body somewhat. I read reports all the time of people born 2000-2005 - what seems like yesterday and they are seemingly healthy, beautiful and next moment gone from reasons ranging from cancer to unnatural reasons - nothing is guaranteed but focus on what you can control and appreciate what you enjoy in life
I will be 60 in a year and TBH, I don't feel it for the most part, but I do see it when I look in the mirror, hair is a bit thinner, some wrinkles around the eyes, hair is 50% gray (which I like). I used to be a party animal but now its a Tito`s and Cran at home and in bed by 11:00 pm Over the past few years, the thought of death has come up and TBH it scares the hell out of me............will I miss my nieces milestones, family functions and such and that does make me sad and scared and then I realize it's part of the circle. The one thing that does scare me is Alzheimer's or any disease that would make me a burden on ANYONE. TBH I really don't want to just "hang on" and be the old man in the wheelchair sitting in the corner at Thanksgiving who cant pig out on Turkey The perfect ending is to go in my sleep while I am still able to take care of myself
