[work advice] Facing bullying, should I stay at my current job?

I agree with those who stated that you're too sensitive and need to grow thicker skin. Also, find another job, if for no other reason than to get a fresh change of scenery.

I suspect that your other coworkers and your boss do not respect you, even if they do like you. Men and women generally don't respect folks (males especially) who lack a backbone and can't take a joke.

Being able to roll with the punches, dish a few barbs of your own and basically just being able to banter can go a LONG way towards making you more likable, personable, and more respected by others. It will also make you more attractive and date-able to women. Bluntly put, you will become a much more fun person to be around.

It's one thing to be bothered when people poke fun at you in middle school. That comes with the territory and nearly all kids get made fun of from time to time. But if that stuff still bothers you as a grown adult, then that's a problem that you need to address soon, with professional counseling if needed. Especially since it still bothers you five damn months after it stopped. Everyone has insecurities here and there, but yours seems quite severe.

Your overall happiness will increase a lot if you learn to not give as much of a s**t.

 

ok..after reading the op's second post I completely misjudged the situation.
OP you should quit your job. Frankly you sound a very superficial person. I guess you must be very young.
Quit your job and make a new start at a new work environment. Also understand that noone will get along with you because of your looks, and not everyone will like you even if you look like a pop star or whatever.

 

Some of these responses are pretty harsh, albeit fair. It's clear that OP is very insecure and in denial about how sensitive he is. No need for him to mention that he looks like an Asian pop star or was popular in community college. You need to think about what you want from these work relationships. Do you want to be amicable with a guy at work who bullies you around? I hope not.

I agree with the comments about counseling though I'm not sure OP is ready for it. Bulking up and hitting the gym will not fix your underlying insecurity. I think you need to either go to therapy or buy a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy book (Feeling Good) and work on that at home. Seems like most of your problems are anxiety related--the feeling that you're being judged by everyone and that you're inherently less valuable than others, coupled with the belief that you "deserve" to be admired and are being wrongfully denied that attention.

Lots of good advice here with some douchey advice. You want to be secure enough with yourself that you don't need the respect of these co-workers. I've worked with a few people like this and the best response is always take it in good humor and ignore the person. They'll give up once they know you aren't getting riled up. If you can truly become okay with getting **** from them and not be bothered (without just faking it) you'll actually begin annoying the dude because he'll realize his own powerlessness.

 

Lol awesome

 

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Wtf is this thread OP.
You sound like a fuccboi.

 

OP sounds like paulftsk's younger and insecure brother. You should look up to your brother and model yourself after him.

 

Guys, I didn't know if this was a support thread for all of clutchfans, but I am going through a similar thing. I also work in a male-dominated work environment. First, a little bit about myself. I am pretty short and on top of this, I have a proportionally small head. I've always been short, and was made fun of when I was younger. I have learned as I have gotten older, that people don't care so much about this, if they aren't insecure themselves. I may be small but I've always made up for it with my personality. You know the guy that wants to be friends with everyone at the bar, just constantly cracking jokes... yeah that's me. In high school I was voted class clown my junior year. I probably would have been voted in my senior year, but I got my girlfriend pregnant. I decided to do the right thing and I dropped out of school and got my current job to support her and our child. With me supporting her and our child, she was able to finish school, get her BA, and get into law school! I am proud to say that we have had two more incredible kids since then! We are waiting until she finishes her law degree to get married. Since she is in school, and day care is expensive, I have had to work side jobs like construction on the weekends. Having to be outside in the sun all day, my head and neck get all sunburned. I usually wear a beanie to help with this but my neck always looks super red.

Anyways, I have been at this job going on 5 years now. Everyone gets along pretty well. Honestly, sometimes its a bit of frat house up in here with all the dick jokes and immature humor, but I like it. I feel like it helps the work hours go by. Anyways there is this Asian guy that I work with that has been giving me problems. The guy is an obnoxiously beautiful man and is generally kind of awkward and quiet. I tried to involve him with the group, making some quip about how he must be trafficking people and that is why he is so quiet. Everyone laughed except him. A few weeks later (I had honestly forgotten about this at the time) he confronted me in my office. Basically told me to cut that **** out or I would be sorry. I told him I didn't mean any harm and he just left. Weeks later I always shooting the ***** with some of my work bros, and he walks in. Trying to be friendly I said "what up Bruce Lee?" He muttered "racist white supremacist KKK mutha-*****er" and just gave me this death stare. Now I am afraid for my life. So I ask my clutchfan bros, what do I do? I don't exactly have the resume to just go get another job, but I am afraid this psycho Asian dude might poison me or something.

 

Vivid,

I hope that is tongue in cheek, or that you are actually not that stupid to make that joke.

DD

 

I thought it was pretty funny

 

Why, does it turn you on?

 

I think what you need to do is find a quarry mentor.

Is there an elder quarry worker in your company or on LinkedIn you could get advice from?

 

Yes..

 

Vivid, you may want to try a peace offering of fish fingers.

 

Solid contact, deep to right field and just foul. Strike One.

0-1 Count... Swing and a miss. Strike Two.

Here's the pitch... Caught him looking for strike three and left him standing at the plate.

That'll end the inning folks. :grin:

 

1st joke was bad. Due to his reaction, joke 2 should have never been spoken

 

::SSNIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFF::

That's like the best thing since sliced bread.

Constructive, yet helpful critique would be for him to start slicing watermelons.

Two birds, one katana.

 

OP, do you have any pics of said pretty boy self?