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[work advice] Facing bullying, should I stay at my current job?

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by W22_STREAK, Jul 19, 2015.

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  1. Joshfast

    Joshfast "We're all gonna die" - Billy Sole
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    Have you tried peeing on him to assert your dominance?
     
    #61 Joshfast, Jul 19, 2015
  2. ElPigto

    ElPigto Member
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    I second this.
     
    #62 ElPigto, Jul 19, 2015
  3. pippendagimp

    pippendagimp Member

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    #63 pippendagimp, Jul 19, 2015
  4. Invisible Fan

    Invisible Fan Contributing Member

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    This is the most stress free path. Your starting impressions aren't that great, and you probably look miserable to other co-workers. Find another job, and use the lessons learned to grow and get stronger from it.

    The other way is fight and claw your way back into the fold with other co-workers. The problem here is that you definitely (drinking and insomnia) need counseling from the depression and anxiety you've suffered and continue to suffer over the last few months. From the way you've described things, the fear of bullying is generating more "oh ****" neurochemicals than the actual bullying. You probably feel powerless against the bully. That's a terrible work environment state because there's potential extremes of withdrawing further inward or resorting to violence.

    Some of the advice given here can work if you're used to being in a gym or a frat house, and frankly, you'd need to be aware of dealing with it to make life easier, but you're not in that state of mind to open up to it.

    So don't let a new job hold you back on your own happiness.

    Start looking for a job.
    Get professional counseling.

    In the meanwhile, start working out to release stress, practice meditation and sleep at a regular schedule.
     
    #64 Invisible Fan, Jul 19, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2015
  5. Rox11

    Rox11 Member

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    #65 Rox11, Jul 19, 2015
  6. Mr. Clutch

    Mr. Clutch Contributing Member

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    As long as he doesn't take your red swingline stapler, it's all good.
     
    #66 Mr. Clutch, Jul 19, 2015
  7. Chamillionaire

    Chamillionaire Member

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    It does sound like you're being a little sensitive... like others have stated bro, get your exercise in. If you're gonna beat anybody up about all this stress, take it out on your body. Go lift weights 3-4 times a week, get your cardio in. Beat the living crap out of your body, and look better, feel better, maybe get laid. :cool:

    Also there's a stupid little video I like to watch.

    <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/sCY-JDyGL1c" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

    In the overall scheme of things, this "problem" you have isn't really that big of a deal. You can decide whether it's a problem or not. And you've made it into something that really it's not, they're just busting your balls dude. Come back with some witty comebacks, put that boy in his place. He might even respect you. :eek:
     
    #67 Chamillionaire, Jul 19, 2015
  8. Snow Villiers

    Snow Villiers Member

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    You must become Sharkeisha
    <iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/KX-L06aDfS4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
     
    #68 Snow Villiers, Jul 19, 2015
  9. platypus

    platypus Member

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    The day you learn to love yourself is the day you'll be free.

    You have deep insecurities that are preventing you from grabbing this situation by the balls and pulling. As many posters have said you need to dish out the damage.

    I work in a environment full of chemical plant operators. Some of the most tough sons of b****es around, they roast anything that moves. When i first started they lined up at me, but since i'm a naturally sassy mf'er i dealt out damage too.

    Soon i was one of them, sure i could have taken their **** and cried but what good does that do me? Or you for the matter?
     
    #69 platypus, Jul 19, 2015
    1 person likes this.
  10. Nook

    Nook Member

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    The guy stopped doing it almost 6 months ago.

    If it was an ongoing issue you would have me... But it isn't. At this point he needs to learn to deal with it, if for no other reason than his own sanity.

    All that is happening is that he is letting this guy have impact and control over his life that he doesn't deserve.
     
    #70 Nook, Jul 19, 2015
  11. Buck Turgidson

    Buck Turgidson Member

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    <iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/EVcIer_4OnA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
     
    #71 Buck Turgidson, Jul 19, 2015
    1 person likes this.
  12. cebu

    cebu Member

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    Use your smart phone
     
    #72 cebu, Jul 19, 2015
  13. FishBulb913

    FishBulb913 Contributing Member

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    Probably already mentioned, but the bully just has a small penis.
     
    #73 FishBulb913, Jul 19, 2015
  14. likestohypeguy

    likestohypeguy Member

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    Turn the other cheek?
     
    #74 likestohypeguy, Jul 19, 2015
  15. Remii

    Remii Member

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    The guy hasn't bothered him in months and from the looks of it the two never had a physical altercation.

    Maybe the OP has other issues and he's projecting them on the guy who was bothering him.
     
    #75 Remii, Jul 20, 2015
  16. W22_STREAK

    W22_STREAK Member

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    Hey guys, regardless if you were on my side or not, I would like to thank you for your time to reply to me. I know all you are trying to do is to help me.

    First off, I would like to further clarify some things and tell you a little about me.

    I am a prettyboy, with the looks of an Asian/Korean popstar. In fact when I was in my late teens and early twenties, if I had decided to do my hair up at the salon, the hairdresser (presumably gay) would ask me out on a date. Girls on the street would come up to me and take photos. I always found it difficult to get accepted by alpha males of other races. In community college I would say I was one of the most popular guys, and basically knew everyone apart from the racist/supremecist white guys group. Keep in mind this profession is 95% male, and they aren't exactly the most cosmopolitan/sophisticated guys out there.

    He is really short, with a small head (smallest head at our company by far), I presume has barely finished high school. He is 23 and he has 3 kids with a 22 year old he is together with but not married to. I guess he is your typical redneck who is not very worldly. Wears beanies too, you know that kind of guy.

    The same exact thing happened to me in community college. Same type of guy (short and white and from a rural background), but within 2 weeks I went up to him and grabbed him by his collar and swore the *** out of him. I was reported and nobody was on my side because I am a Asian prettyboy nobody identified with, and I was threatened with suspension from the school. But the bullying stopped which was good.

    Ok, let me continue about other things.

    The thing is, at a quarry/labouring environment, my colleagues don't identify with a guy like me. Therefore it is hard to get guys on my side. I get along with most pretty well, but I know it is hard for them to see me as "one of US". They identify with him more with him being white, working-class looking. I mean nobody is gonna see an Asian guy as a leader in this environment. Or at least no other minority at the workplace has shown that they could take a leadership/alpha role at work.

    I did say joke/insult things back to him on two occasions. Once I was eating fish fingers for lunch, and he asked me: "what have you got there", I replied: "Fish fingers. Is it turning you on?" Everyone in the room laughed. He took it really badly and started a whole series of jokes towards me like "Oh I am eating fish fingers do you like it big boy?". He was obviously upset that his alpha authority was being challenged, and I didn't want to create a conflict so I just laughed it off as I was the one teasing him that time.

    A second time a similar exchange occurred, and he reacted badly. So I decided that he couldn't take any jokes from me so I didn't say similar jokes any more.

    I do go to the gym and get exercise regularly, but this still plagues me a lot. I cannot control it.

    Anyways, thanks for your advice guys, I will have a think about things. I may decide to go back and get my Bachelors in Civil Engineering.

    Any further advice appreciated.
     
    #76 W22_STREAK, Jul 22, 2015
  17. W22_STREAK

    W22_STREAK Member

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    By the way, I really appreciate all of you taking time to help me with your advice.

    I probably chose the wrong profession.

    Wrong work environment.

    To be honest, I am a very loyal person.

    But it may be that I just decide to not give a *** anymore and quit my job.

    My job isn't too flashy anyways. You can get into the job straight out of high school with no qualifications. Its hard labour 9 hours a day. I get paid less than all of my fellow classmates too.
     
    #77 W22_STREAK, Jul 22, 2015
  18. Chuck_Ferrari

    Chuck_Ferrari Member

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    It doesn't matter what work environment you choose. A male will always try to assert their dominance over you, for that is the nature of things.

    Unfortunately for you, this guy has no real dominance and is merely masking his very obvious shortcomings; and yet, is asserting a false illusion of dominance and it is affecting you. Imagine what an actual dominant, intelligent, and cunning man could do to you psychologically and physically.

    Take a very honest assessment of yourself, and take note of your strengths and weakness. Work to assert these natural strengths and overcome or "outsmart" these weaknesses.

    Work out for functionality over aesthetics. Take part in a rigorous and true martial art, which applies mental fortitude along with physical dexterity. Maintain an introspective focus.

    Being of Asian descent, your parents likely passed down some very worthy genes that have helped them and their ancestors before them survive and overcome extreme situations (likely situations much tougher than what you face now)
     
    #78 Chuck_Ferrari, Jul 22, 2015
    1 person likes this.
  19. Scarface281

    Scarface281 Contributing Member

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    So you had some comebacks? I think you had it figured out already. Just keep joking if it starts up again and they will catch some yellow fever.
     
    #79 Scarface281, Jul 22, 2015
  20. Ziggy

    Ziggy QUEEN ANON

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    Make shirts. Team Pretty Boy - Team Small Head.
     
    #80 Ziggy, Jul 22, 2015
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