It seems like you could just replace the name "Chuck Norris" with any name. It will still be "retarted" reading.
I think it was the Total Gym that did it for me.. http://www.totalgymdirect.com/index.php?key=06023&from=Google
i've submitted a couple of my own: Chuck Norris let the dogs out. and A young boy once asked Chuck Norris: "what do i have to do to become like you?" Chuck Norris replied by delivering a fatal roundhouse to the boy's head - Chuck Norris laughs at anybody who thinks there will be another like him, and if one ever thinks it possible, that person must die.
I like the first one, 3814, but I think there should be some mention of how Chuck applied several fatal roundhouse kicks to the dogs immediately after he let them out.
i was considering that too, but it got too wordy...haha, something that i guess i didn't worry about for the 2nd one.
The 3 that didn't laugh were clearly at one time either roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, empregnated by Chuck Norris or both.
Yeah, I started out to submit a Vin Diesel one once, but I got tremendously carried away. It went something like this... While vacationing in Tijuana, a highly inebriated Vin Diesel in a rare moment of kindness offered to buy a man a beer. The man declined saying he dislikes American beer. Vin Diesel then shouted "WHAT" and knocked the man out simply by flexing his upper lip. The man awoke to find Vin Diesel chugging an unholy number of beers. Vin Diesel then took a massive piss and drowned the entire country of Mexico in his urine. The urine was later collected and stored in huge vats and eventually processed into beer. As a result of the man's epic blunder of shunning Vin Diesel's generosity, Vin Diesel's piss is now the main ingrediant of all Mexican beer. Coincidently, Vin Diesel only agreed to star in the movie "The Fast in the Furious" so his character could offer Paul Walker a Corona and watch him guzzle it down.
I came up with a few on lunch that I had to write down... Chuck Norris has perfect eye sight because he doesn’t just eat the carrots he eats the rabbits. The teachers in school didn’t teach Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris schooled them. If you play pull the wish bone with Chuck Norris, he will not only win and get his wish but you will have bad luck until you die which is in two seconds because of Chuck Norris’ round house kick to your head. Chuck Norris once opened up a bag of LAYS POTATO chips and ate “just one” Chuck Norris was originally cast to play “The Terminator” but he walked off the set… When asked why, Chuck Norris said “because Chuck would never say “I’ll be back” Chuck would kill first and make statements later.” Chuck Norris walked into McDonald’s and roundhouse kicked all the employees in the face, on his way out the door he shouted.. “I’M NOT LOVIN IT!!”
haha - liked the first three...the 4th i've seen before. the 5th was one of the best..and i don't really care for the 6th.
I just thought up this one...not sure if it's good or not. Tiger's say that a fierce competitor has the "Eye of Chuck Norris." not sure if the wording is right...but you get it, right?
and this one: Anybody who says: "how much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" must die, according to Chuck Norris - for saying "chuck" without "Norris" four times in a row.
Eh, I think that one is a little too similar to one of my most favorite Chuckisms... Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf. It also kind of creeps me out because the only woman I ever loved was born 2 years and 5 months after me... and I once comtemplated ripping out her throat.
I came up with one. What do you think: Chuck Norris did not invent the roundhouse kick. But he did kill the man that did... with a roundhouse kick. Chuck Norris also did not invent irony... P.S. Chuck Norris just killed the inventor of ellipses.
