The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

I didn't watch any of the other boring movies or read the crappy books but how do you get three movies out of this tiny book? The three movies were from three large books.

 

Never read the books. I had to watch the two Hobbit Movies again to appreciate how the story was unfolding. So like them more now then on my first watch. Looking forward to the Dragon taking over the city and killing this necromancer.

 

Gotta remember that a whole bunch of folks haven't read the books, so careful with the spoilers, PhiSlammaJamma! -

 

Where's Tyrion? Did they kill him off already? Should be spoilered.

 

Yeah, I mean it is great when Gandalf repeatedly tells the dwarves to run from things. Never mind that he is one of the five most powerful spirits on earth (and at one time another of the five was with his group) but, hey, there are about 15 orcs over there riding wargs...the 12 of us better run like hell!!! For 2 hours of movie time.

Also, let's throw in an essential love triangle between two elves and a dwarf.

And never edit anything. Just keep throwing CGI onto the screen and all will be well.

 

They should make a movie about the other book. I forgot the name, children of something. Hollywood needs more incest.

 

Is Orlando Bloom acting in this, or is that a CG double? He looked fake to me.

 

He's too pretty that he looked fake.

 

The only thing that was wearisome was the 30 min dragon bit at the end of the second movie, even more so since the dragon is still around for the last one.

Still gonna go on opening weekend

 

Could've sworn the title of the last film was supposed to be "The Hobbit: There and Back Again." I guess "The Battle of the Five Armies" sounds more exciting.

 

Bring in Tom Bombadil.

 

Looks like this is gonna be another movie of Jackson vomiting CGI all over my screen. So weird to me that the original LOTR was so great in part because they DIDN'T rely solely on CGI and fake looking visual effects but threw in all kinds of other practical effects and tricks. It really makes for a movie that doesn't feel like a cartoon...then Jackson totally forgets how well this worked and makes every major scene just one long CGI-fest after another.

Both of these first two movies have been a mess. I don't have any kind of expectation for this last one. Hopefully the dragon sequences look cool. Despite my complaints of CGI, the conversation between Bilbo and Smaug was easily my favorite part of the last movie.

 

This whole trilogy has been only Redbox worthy.

 

The pace of these movies are too slow. After 3 hours you just realize they didn't tell much story at all.

 

I'm geek enough to enjoy these movies....that is, to enjoy what Peter Jackson does well, even while I am sometimes left shaking my head at his decisions.

Thing is, nothing is ever dramatic or cinematic enough for this guy. Take "King Kong" (if you dare). What was the round table session like for the script?

"And then he fights a big dinosaur. No....a T Rex!"

"Well, a mostly-T Rex, yeah? Real ugly and snaggle-toothy."

"You know what would be even better? TWO T Rexes!"

"F*** you, mate! Let's make it THREE!"

Same thing with "The Hobbit". He couldn't just tell the story from the book. Heck, even with the additions from The Appendices, which I'm okay with, he just oooooooooooooverstuffs eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeverything.

I can even go with the Tauriel - Kili (or is it Fili?) thing. But then it just gets into overkill. (Put Evangeline Lily in a nude scene and all would be forgiven.)

Even the dragon. AWESOME effects. AWESOME. Benedict Cumberbatch: perfect voice match. But it gets draaaaaaaaaaaaaagged out, stretched like taffy, "like butter over too much bread":

"MY CLAWS ARE SWORDS. MY TEETH ARE SPEARS. MY A**HOLE IS A HURRICANE. MY BREATH IS A FIERY HELL NO TIC TAC CAN PURGE."

Since Peter Jackson is either scared the movies as kids' films won't make money and/or simply doesn't know how to scale back a production, he's basically remaking LOTR.

And yet I largely enjoy them. I just wish....he knew when to quit. And while the cash register is adding it up? No time to quit I guess.

Peter Jackson once said he wants to start doing small films. I just don't think he can.

I wish Guillermo del Toro had made the films.

 

Ah nice

 

The book is one of my favorite books I've ever read, I could literally not put it down.

And even with the changes I've enjoyed the films.... Moar middle earth!

 

Saw a sneak preview last night, and I'm really happy with the way it concluded. Should have been called Tantra because that was one long climax! True to its name, there was not a single built-in bathroom break, and some moments were even more emotionally impactful than the book. You can argue whether it should have been three movies, but the series was ultimately a worthwhile exercise that, despite some cringeworthy moments (coughgoblinkingcough) in the first one, went beyond spectacle and brought some depth to what was, after all, a children's book. I'd compare it to HBO's GoT and the extra moments that weren't present in the source material.

 

Nice. I look forward to seeing it. I'll be sad because it'll be an end of an era for Tolkien material being on the big screen. I can't believe it's been 14 years since I was using dial-up internet to follow the developments of LOTR:FOTR. I just can't get used to the new CGI look of the Hobbit versus LOTR's special effects. It doesn't take me out this world as much.

 

I am excited to see it.

It looks like it is going to be the best HOBBIT/LOR movie of them all.