A large flying saucer descends from the sky and hovers over the Toyota Center. Two aliens that look like Commander Thor from Stargate teleport into the arena and walk up to Jeff Van Gundy and the team while they practice. Greetings earthlings. We are here to check on the results of a genetic experiment we began years ago. Van Gundy steps forward and asks: Is it me? Is that why I have such a superior intellect? No you are not the one, they reply. Yao steps up and asks: Is it me? Is that why I am so large? No you also are not the one. TMac smiles and steps forward and says, well that must be why I am one of the top players in the NBA with such awesome athletic skills. Sorry, but you also are not the one. So the whole team is questioning well who is it? The aliens answer: Bobby Sura it is you. Sura doesn't faint (yet) and asks what is so special about me? The aliens answer: How many white men do you know with an 8 inch penis? Sura faints.
Van Gundy is always furious about the seemingly lack of consistency of the Rockets. One day Rockets may win against top teams, the next day they lost to a lottery team. In Gundy’s mind, everyone in Rockets is expendable except T-Mac and Yao. Gundy wants to learn the secret of consistency from a competing team and he thinks that the Spurs are the most intelligent, consistent and disciplined NBA team, but Gundy knows that he can’t make Popovich tell him the secret, so he appointed Ewing as his secret agent to do the task. So on the day the Rockets play with the Spurs, Ewing approached Popovich one hour before the tip off and expressed his admiration of the Spurs. Ewing asked Popovich “Coach, why is it that Spurs players can consistently play smart basketball?” Popovich replied “Well, you know, it’s because our players have the best IQ in NBA. Let me prove it to you how smart our players are with giving them a question.” So Popovich called Tim Duncan and asked Timmy the question “Timmy, do you know who is the boss in Spurs who is neither the management nor your teammates?” Duncan immediately answered “It’s me, Tim Duncan”. Ewing is so amused and memorize this question in his mind. So he went back to Gundy and told Gundy the result of his encounters with Popovich. Gundy then gave an order to Ewing to ask this question to all of Rockets’ players except T-Mac and Yao and whoever can’t answer it in three days will be waived. Ewing went to carry this mission and called Baker and explained to him that Gundy has instructed Ewing to ask a question to every Rockets player, and whoever can’t answer in three days will be waived. So Ewing asked the question that he memorized back then to Baker “Baker, do you know who is the boss in Rockets who is neither the management nor your teammates?” Baker thought for long with sober eyes from the liquor the night before, and can’t answer it. Ewing was furious and he told Baker, “you must come back to me in three days with an answer or otherwise you will be waived”. So Baker was walking sadly and he met T-Mac on the way. T-Mac looked at him and asked him why he was so sad. So Baker told T-Mac the story and T-Mac is willing to help him to get the answer. T-Mac asked Baker to repeat the question to T-Mac. So Baker asked T-Mac: “T-Mac, do you know who is the boss in Rockets who is neither the management nor your teammates?” Without any hesitation and delay, T-Mac answered “It’s me T-Mac”. Baker was so happy to get the answer and thanked T-Mac. The next day Baker met with Ewing again at a team’s meeting with every Rockets player present and told Ewing that he got the answer already. So Ewing asked him what the answer is. Baker proudly asked Ewing to repeat the question, so Ewing repeated it, asking “Baker, who is the boss in Rockets who is neither the management nor your teammates?” Baker said “It’s T-Mac.” Ewing was furious and said “You are wrong m0r0n!! It’s Tim Duncan!!!” Sura faints
This joke has too many versions to be considered a good one. It's very funny if this is the first time you read this template, the bad news is, you will read it countless times from now on in different versions and scenarios.
I literally laughed out loud when I read ALL YOU BASE ARE BELONG TO US. Good stuff. I almost fainted too.
It's the beginning of the season and the Rockets are playing Orlando in Florida. Looking forward to seeing his buddies, Yao heads over to Steve's house, and Sura and Mutombo come along. As they pull up to the door, they notice it's open. Yao says let's go on in and surprise Steve. Walking into the kitchen, Yao announces: "Yo, it's Yao, and I'm ready for some soul food." Turning the corner, though, the trio hears some strange noises, and they come into the kitchen and find Steve and Cuttino. Mutombo exclaims: "Who wants to sex Mobley!" Yao blushes and notes: "Steve, you're little brother is in the wrong queue" Sura faints.
One game where the Rocket play the Nugget, Yao took the ball from the foul line, spun around, kicked Nene in the nuts, dunked it on Camby's face and then yelled "Whos wants some Yao, beyoooootch!!!!" Sura wakes up
