Seeing the thread by Kagy has "inspired" me to do a thread on Simpsons quotes. I will post a quote from a Simpsons episode. Post what the next line or quote was in that episode and then pick another quote and have someone else pick the next line and so on. Here's what'll I lead off with: Rex Banner: Are you the Beer Baron? Comic Book Guy: Yes, but only by night. By day, I'm a mild-mannered reporter for a major metropolitan newspaper. Rex Banner: Don't crack wise with me, Tubby! ...... So, what is the next quote? After giving that quote, do a new one. Let's see how many we can do and how long we can keep it going.
I'd rather just post a funny Simpsons line <I>"I never thought I could shoot down a German plane, but last year I proved myself wrong"</I> - Grandpa Simpson (<a href="http://www.pusboil.com/germanplane.wav">WAV</a>)
Bart: Grampa, is that story true? Grampa: Not entirely...but I did wear a dress for a period in the thirites...oh, they had designers then! NEXT!
That is from "Whacking Day", but the transcript at http://www.snpp.com/ is not given for that episode. The only thing that I can come up with is Grampa: Well, what do you expect? I'm an old man. Next one: Comic Book Guy: Last night's "Itchy and Scratchy" was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world. Bart: Hey, I know it wasn't great, but what right do you have to complain? Comic Book Guy: As a loyal viewer, I feel they owe me. Bart: What? They've given you thousands of hours of entertainment for free! What could they possibly owe you? If anything you owe them! ....
Homer- "You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'." "Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night. "The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do." "I think the saddest day of my life was when I realised I could beat my Dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four." Bart- "What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? Looks like he's trying to jump over, but he can't quite make it." "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners, only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars Trilogy. If you'd like to learn more about war, there's lots of books in your local library, many of them with cool, gory pictures." More quotes... http://www.lifeisajoke.com/simpsonspeak_html.htm
"in this house we will obey the laws of thermodynamics"* homer driving in the snow with Flanders to get bart suddenly runs into something and says "hope it was flanders" (one of the funniest things ever) "now i'll just use my hands to pull out my feet, and now i'll use my face to pull out my hands" flanders: "but did you have to salt the earth so that nothing would ever grow there again" homer "yeah" "mmmmmmm, Pistol Whip." "mmmmmmm, caramel." "mmmmmmm, apple pie." any quotes I post are just my best recollection of the quote, a word or two may be wrong damn i can't think of any other great ones right now
Homer: When I was a kid, I really wanted to get a pitchers glove, but my dad wouldn't give it to me. So I held my breath until I banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage. Bart: What's the point of this story? Homer: I like stories. --------- Smithers: Mr. Jones, would you like to do a private show? (Smithers opens a briefcase full of money) Tom Jones: Sorry, I don't do private shows. Smithers: Well, perhaps you would like to look into this breifcase. (Smithers opens another briefcase, and green gas comes from it) Tom Jones: OK, but I don't.....(TJ collapses) Smithers: Pleasant dreams, Mr. Jones.... --------- Moe: I'm better than dirt! Well, not that store bought stuff. I...I...can't compete with that.
Horst: [threatingly] We Germans aren't all smiles und sunshine. Burns: [recoils in mock horror] Oooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans![hiding behind Smithers] Uh oh, the Germans are going to get me! Horst: Stop it! Man 2: Stop, sir. Burns: Don't let the Germans come after me. Oh no, the Germans are coming after me. Man 2: Please stop the `pretending you are scared' game, please. Horst: Stop it! Stop it! Burns: [brief pause, then resumes] No! They're so big and strong! Man 2: Stop it. Horst: Stop it, Mr. Burns. Man 2: Please stop pretending you are scared of us, please, now. Burns: Oh, protect me from the Germans! The Germans... Horst: Burns, STOP IT! Rev.L: [reluctantly, to phone] Hello, Ned. Ned: Sorry to bother you, Rev. Lovejoy, but I'm kind of in a tizzy. My son Todd just told us he didn't want to eat his damn vegetables. Rev.L: Well, you know kids and vegetables. What was it? Asparagus? Ned: No, no, Reverend, the point is, he said a `bad word'! Rev.L: [realizes] Oh, oh, right, yeah. Well, kids usually pick these things stuff up from <someplace>. Find out who's doing it and... direct them to the Bible. Ned: <Where> in the Bible? Rev.L: Uh... Page 900. [quickly hangs up] Ned: But Rever--- [click] Rev.L: [looks down at his dessert, which has melted] Damn Flanders. Homer: You're Darryl Strawberry. Darryl: Yes? Homer: You play right field. Darryl: Yes? Homer: I play right field, too. Darryl: So? Homer: Well, are you better than me? Darryl: Well, I never met you... but... Yes. Marge: Lisa, you got a letter. Lisa: It's from my pen-pal Anya! [reads] Anya: [voice over] Dear Lisa, as I write this, I am very sad. Our president has been overthrown and [voice changes to that of a man] replaced by the benevolent general Krull. All hail Krull and his glorious new regime! Sincerely, Little Girl. Bart: Oh, this can't be what it looks like! There's gotta be some other explanation! Ned: I wish there was some other explanation for this, but there isn't. I'm a murderer. I'm a murderer! Bart: Then that's not the real Ned Flanders. Ned: [yelling] I'm a mur-diddley-urdler. Bart: If that's not Flanders, he's done his homework.
When I was 17, I drank some very good beer, I drank some very good beer I purchesed with a fake ID, My name was Brian McKeeb, We stayed up listing to queen, When I was 17.... HOMER
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm beer mmmmmmmmmmmmmm organized crime mmmmmmmmmmmmmm urinal fresh mmmmmmmmmmmmmm bacon mmmmmmmmmmmmmm chocolate mmmmmmmmmmmmmm sacrilisious
McBain : "ja ja , Thank you, Lets Say Hello To My Music Guy , Scoi . Scoi, that is some outfit you have there, It makes you look like a homosexual." Audience "BOOO" McBain : "Oh Maybe you all are homosexuals too!" Audience "BOOO" Bart : "This is horrible" Lisa : "The FOX Network has sunk to a new low."
One of my favorites (I just saw it): MO: "So what do you want here, uh...appendectomy, lipo, or...'the sampler'? That's very popular." HOMER: "I want you to stick this crayon into my brain." MO: "No problem. The old 'crayola oblongata'." (sticking crayon up nostril) "Alright, tell me when I hit the sweet spot." HOMER: "Deeper...you pusilanimus pilsner pusher!" MO: "Alright, alright." (hammers crayon twice into nosril cavity...clank clank!) HOMER: (Yells) "DEFENSE! UGH UGH! DEFENSE! UGH UGH!" MO: "Uh, that's pretty dumb, but eh... (hammers crayon in once more...clank!)" HOMER: "Extended warranty? How could I lose?" MO: "Perfect!" x34
I like this one (From the episode where Flanders is suspected of killing maude): (Not word for word, but as close as i can remember) Wiggum:Well, looks like were done here boys... Homer:But wait, we still haven't answered the question of where maude is.... Maude:I'm right here. Homer:Oh! So I guess everything's wrapped in a neat little package! (everyones stares) Homer:What? I knew it may have sounded sarcastic, but that really what i meant.
