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Shaq Vs. Jason Whitlock

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by rocketsjudoka, Nov 1, 2012.

  1. rocketsjudoka

    rocketsjudoka Contributing Member
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    I don't know if this belongs in NBA dish but since Shaq is retired and Whitlock doesn't play basketball thought I would place it here. Jason Whitlock responds to Shaq's challenge to box him. It sounds like Whitlock's got some Macbeth in him.

    http://msn.foxsports.com/nba/story/jason-whitlock-shaquille-oneal-does-not-want-any-of-this-103112

    Whitlock: Shaq doesn't want THIS

    Let’s hope Ernie Johnson, Kenny Smith and Charles Barkley talk some sense into Shaquille O’Neal. Let’s hope the legendary NBA center gracefully, promptly and humbly rescinds his challenge for physical combat with yours truly.

    Given the propensity of former professional athletes to file for bankruptcy, I would take little pleasure in one of my 20 favorite athletes of all time writing a check his butt can’t cash.

    Normally my reputation in matters such as these precludes professional jocks from selling the kind of wolf tickets Shaq sold on Tuesday’s debut episode of my favorite TV show — TNT’s “Inside the NBA.”

    “Jason Whitlock, I tell you what: You can come down here and box me any time you want,” O’Neal bluffed after Johnson read my tweet that pointed out Shaq would lose a Shirt-off rematch to Barkley because Shaq opened another NBA season out of shape. “I’ll use one hand. You use two. I’ll get on my knees. Any time, any place. You don’t know who you’re talking to, boy.”

    It’s my hope that before TNT’s next NBA broadcast, Shaq does the proper homework on me. If he does, he’ll learn the fates of Lawrence Taylor, Andre Rison, Keyshawn Johnson and countless other high-profile foolish jocks who have taken offense at my journalistic work and either threatened violence or personally confronted me.

    I ain’t to be trifled with, Shaq.
    Most athletes know this. They’ve done their due diligence. They recognize that beneath the extra five-to-10 pounds I carry on my otherwise chiseled frame, I’m still an elite athlete, the same weapon of mass destruction that made me a dominant force in college football in the 1980s and Mel Kiper’s sleeper prospect before the 1990 NFL Draft.

    I hope that Barkley explains all of this to Shaq. Years ago, I had a similar problem with Charles. He was upset with me when I coined the nickname “Charles-enio Barkley,” a moniker that lampooned Chuck’s second-banana, Eddie Murphy-Arsenio Hall-like relationship with Michael Jordan.

    Chuck wanted to beef with me. A mutual friend, Jay Glazer, explained to Chuck that people in the UFC world viewed me as the original and authentic Kimbo Slice, and Barkley quickly made peace. We’ve been friends ever since.

    Look, I’m not the type to brag about my physical exploits. But my record in these encounters speaks for itself. I’ll knock Shaq to his knees and he’ll leave the ring on the same stretcher as Keyshawn, Rison and LT.

    In fact, Shaq would be easier to whip. Throwing hands is not his area of expertise. We’ve all seen the infamous video of Barkley bouncing a ball off Shaq’s head and then dumping Shaq on his behind. Barkley gave Shaq a “free throw,” and, not surprisingly, Shaq’s left hand missed wildly.

    I like Shaq. He’s a teddy bear, a gentle giant. He’s an eater not a fighter.
    Kobe ran Shaq out of Los Angeles. It makes no sense for Shaq to challenge a football gladiator such as myself. Again, I hope Shaq comes to his senses and checks my references. As of Thursday morning, 56 percent of independent voters in an LA Times poll predicted I would spank Shaq in a boxing match.

    Now, the guys at TNT had a little fun with an old, outdated picture of me taking a nap on a couch after a vigorous workout. Because of the camera angle, it appeared I was 10-to-15 pounds out of shape. Trust me, I’m as physically fit as most elite-level bodybuilders.

    Given my superior conditioning and the fact I haven’t taken my shirt off with the lights on since the mid-1990s, it would be unfair for me to challenge Shaq to a Shirt-off contest. Shaq is clearly out of shape, and there’s no reason for me to embarrass him on national TV by revealing my six-pack abs and perfectly sculpted chest and shoulders. Shaq knows this. And that’s why he smartly didn’t challenge me to a Shirt-off contest.

    So let’s level the playing field. I challenge Shaq to a Shoes-and-Socks-off contest. I’ve always been told I have very flattering size-12 feet. Shaq’s surgically repaired, size-22 feet would provide quite a contrast. Maybe Rex Ryan and his wife could be celebrity judges.

    Is Shaq man enough to show his feet on national TV?

    I am. Any time, any place.
     
  2. ubigred

    ubigred Contributing Member

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    He sure has a way with words.
     
  3. SwoLy-D

    SwoLy-D Contributing Member

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    Gentlemen, place your bets... :eek:

    EDIT: it's "place"... not "make." You can tell I haven't been gamblin' enough. :(
     
    #3 SwoLy-D, Nov 1, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2012
  4. tallanvor

    tallanvor Contributing Member

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    How could this airhead write this crap. A professional journalist just published an article that said 'I am great and not to be trifled with. Most athletes know this'. He should be fired immediately and the editor who allowed that to be posted should be fired as well.
     
  5. DudeWah

    DudeWah Member

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    Who the hell is Jason Whitlock?

    Does this guy seriously think UFC fighters fear him? Da fuq is this nonsense
     
  6. SwoLy-D

    SwoLy-D Contributing Member

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    Oh, wait a minute...

    THIS is him? http://msn.foxsports.com/writer/Jason_Whitlock :confused:

    [​IMG]
    ALSO he is somewhere in this photo: nswf
    [​IMG]
    "This is it? I have to beat... HIM???"
    ^ Name that movie (difficulty: easy).

    Oh, yeah, my money is on SHAQ. :eek:
     
  7. DudeWah

    DudeWah Member

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    All I see in that pic are dem boobies. And a fat black d00d
     
  8. justtxyank

    justtxyank Contributing Member

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    Wow. It's hard to believe a professional journalist wrote the above paragraph.
     
  9. CometsWin

    CometsWin Breaker Breaker One Nine

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    I wish they'd both disappear forever.
     
  10. tallanvor

    tallanvor Contributing Member

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    and that an editor approved it. This isn't some random blog. It's a foxsports website. Unreal.
     
  11. justtxyank

    justtxyank Contributing Member

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    I think the whole article might be an inside joke and was all meant in jest.
     
  12. the futants

    the futants Contributing Member

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  13. SunsRocketsfan

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    yea who da fu#k is jason whitlock? never heard of him. is he suppose to be famous? seems pretty damn full of himself
     
  14. GRENDEL

    GRENDEL Contributing Member

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    Yep, me thinks many a sarcasm detector is broken.
     
  15. vinsensual

    vinsensual Member

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    Did Jason Whitlock ever badmouth either the Texans or the Rockets? I've looked up this joker before. "Joker" in a non-threatening, I-don't-want-none of a 1990 sleeper NFL draft prospect, kind of way.
     
  16. Dairy Ashford

    Dairy Ashford Member

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    So Bolea really is 6'7" or whatever he''s billed at. This must have been right after Ultimate Warrior cratered and they had to reboot. I didn't know Mouth of the South managed "faces."
     
  17. Acedude

    Acedude Contributing Member

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    Per Wiki:

    Controversy

    On February 10, 2012, in the middle of the Knicks' 92–85 victory over the Los Angeles Lakers, with Jeremy Lin scoring a career-high 38 points, Fox Sports columnist Jason Whitlock posted on Twitter, "Some lucky lady in NYC is gonna feel a couple inches of pain tonight."[3] Hyphen wrote that Whitlock "reinforced the insipid and insidious 'small Asian penis' stereotype.[4] The Asian American Journalists Association demanded an apology. Later, Whitlock said, "I debased a feel-good sports moment. For that, I'm truly sorry."[5][6]

    -

    From last night's "Inside the NBA", it sounded like Shaq and this fool verbally agreed to a fight in 6 months. Should be good.
     
  18. rocketsjudoka

    rocketsjudoka Contributing Member
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    It sounds like the fight is on and not only that it looks like it will be in Houston!
    http://www.yardbarker.com/boxing/articles/msn/shaq_whitlock_to_rumble_in_six_months/12113191

    Shaq, Whitlock to rumble in six months?
    Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like we may have to set up a fight date for Shaq and Jason Whitlock.

    Matters between the two got started on NBA opening night Tuesday when Whitlock, a columnist for FOXSports.com, said Shaq was out of shape. The former All-NBA center and current TNT NBA analyst responded by challenging Whitlock to a fight.

    Not only did Whitlock not back down, but he wrote a column in response touting his credentials as a street fighter and former football player.

    Shaq wasn’t about to back down from his initial challenge, and Whitlock isn’t tapping out, either.

    Shaq said on “Inside the NBA” Thursday that he wanted to fight Whitlock next week. The Big Fella agreed to fight in six months after Whitlock said he wanted that much time to train for the bout.

    Jason Whitlock



    @WhitlockJason

    Name the date Shaq! Any time, any place! (I need at least 6 months to train.)
    1 Nov 12

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    Things are so far along that Shaq received an offer from former heavyweight champion boxer Lennox Lewis to train, much to Whitlock’s disappointment:

    Jason Whitlock



    @WhitlockJason

    What? What? Why not me? RT @LennoxLewis: I'll volunteer my training services to @SHAQ for his fight with @WhitlockJason.
    1 Nov 12

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    That’s okay — Whitlock believes he can get Floyd Mayweather Jr. in his corner:

    Jason Whitlock



    @WhitlockJason

    I'm gonna reach out to Money May for training. All Star Weekend could be date of the fight.
    2 Nov 12

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    The NBA All-Star Game will be February 17 in Houston. That would only allow the men four and a half months to train. As long as Whitlock finds that acceptable, they should be able to set up the fight. Heck, it could be part of the weekend entertainment.
     
  19. rocketsjudoka

    rocketsjudoka Contributing Member
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    Whitlock has posted a lot of dumb sh^t but he has also posted some thought provoking stuff involving race and sports. I don't consider myself a fan of Whitlock's and would enjoy watching Shaq beat him down, not a Shaq fan either, but he does bring up some interesting stuff every now and then.
     

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