I don't know what the specific addiction is, so that would play a part. You also mentioned that you used it to get through stress or other problems. I don't think advice is really what is needed for you, but I'll give some anyway in case it might help at some point. Try and find a way to confront the stress or reduce the stress at the point where it initiates. I would confide in the wife, because she is part of your life. Maybe she can give you some support.
A lot of people are spreading misinformation. It depends on the substance. Heroine withdrawal can be hell, but its really bad for about 2 weeks and subsides. Develop a Xanax addiction? That alters the biochemistry of your brain to the point it takes maybe even a year to be back to where you used to. Share the type of addiction, you have annonimity on your side. Don't be convinced that you feeling this is way is just how you have become, the withdrawal and washout process can take a while. If it is alcohol a physician can switch you over to a long acting benzo so it tapers off so slowly you won't feel the negative effects too much. TLDR, don't seek CF for help on **** like this man.
I don't know what "Asian up" means but this is a great post. You will be so much happier in life and so much less likely to succumb to relapse if you are living an authentic life, as your authentic self, especially with your wife. Spouses should be the ones you can trust with anything, even if you have to go really slowly to get there. I was where you are now once and I received a lot of help from friends and from professionals but I was in a relationship where I didn't feel safe telling the truth about who I was and what I was dealing with in that relationship so, though it lasted 8 years, it failed. It was always going to fail. I'm with someone now that knows the most embarrassing things about me, the things about which I am most ashamed. I have no secrets from her and I cannot tell you what that has done for me. It has relaxed me in the most profound way and it has made for a true connection between us, because we know we can always tell the other anything. That won't happen in every relationship but certainly it's the ideal. And, again, I can't express how much it changed my life. I'm not in therapy now though I used to need it twice a week. I'll eventually go back but I'm not desperate like I was when I lived with secrets. Also, most amazingly, she drinks moderately (she doesn't have a problem) and not only does it never bother me but I never crave it. I needed alcohol to deal with my demons but I wasn't dealing with them -- I was avoiding them in the most intense way possible. Once I said it all out loud it really lost its power over me. And having the love of a woman that never makes me feel ashamed about anything I've said or done (even if we both know I behaved badly or even really, really badly).... That killed my demons dead. I wish you all the luck, brother.
