This question has come to my mind several times - and no, don't read more into it than necessary. My marriage is not the greatest but it is FAR from being on life support. So here it goes - you have been married and the marriage ends whether in divorce or death of spouse. For the time being, let's don't worry about kids being involved - what do you do: 1) Start dating, hoping to meet someone and possibly re-marry some day 2) Start dating, hoping to meet someone, but have no intention of marriage - the best you will do is live with the person 3) Start dating but not really get involved into a serious relationship - in other words, find you a "f*** buddy" 4) Have no interest in dating and would prefer to spend the rest of your life alone. Summary - choice 1 is marriage, 2 is living together but not marriage, 3 is f*** buddy, and 4 is solitary life. I see myself probably leaning towards 2 but 3 and 4 would be in the mix. I don't think option 1 would ever happen.
Wow I'm not even close to marrying... can't say for sure. Would probably go for the re-marry option depending on my age when the separation happens. Like if my spouse dies when I'm 65 years old, I think it's safe to say I'd probably just stay put.
Really depends on how the marriage ended and the people you're with afterwards. Move on and see what happens.
Big difference there between "divorce or death of spouse". I can't imagine feelings being even remotely similar between the 2 events.
Can safely say that after divorce and entering a newer, healthy relationship... that marriage is the furthest thing from my mind.
Big loaded question there, Manny. No way you can discount the kid(s), IMO. My son is priority one and that wouldn't change in either scenario. Death- I would take a long, long time away from any kind of romance. Losing your partner...going to take a while to grieve and come back to a point where I can deal with anyone else. Divorce- where possible in my schedule, I would go straight man-w****. In either case, I don't think I'd look for a serious relationship for a long, long time, if ever.
This. I'm only a 24 year old. Hard to say for sure, but I only intend to get married once. Remarriages are always weird to attend. Can't say I'd wanna run one.
I guess I'm about to give up more than I ever thought I would here. Short version: Was married, my ex repeatedly made decisions that would crush most people, including herself. I stayed and stayed and stayed and stayed, knowing it would be beyond difficult to not only fully forgive her, but also hope she would get much needed help. She chose to keep her effed up life the way it was, destroying everything and everyone she came in contact with. Finally when I was done, I WAS DONE. No regrets, I did all I could. Instead of falling into darkness, I decided it was one of the best things too ever happen for me. I learned so much about not only what I needed, but what I could and should give a person deserving of my love. I was perfectly fine, being by myself, happy as could be. I never said never, but didn't expect to find what I found in who I'm with now. I found what I believe to be the most amazing woman. It's not perfect, nothing is, but damn do I love her so much and get it back the same. Now, a fifteen month old son ( most amazing thing I've done) and an undying ( or at least I hope) love. So I guess my answer has too be option one.
I'm with the "depends how the marriage ended" camp. Also, I have to throw kids here in the mix, because I don't know why a marriage is a marriage if you don't plan to have kids. What the heck do you marry for, anyway? I am not saying have kids right away, or have five or ten, I am just saying that the union of a male and a female is to consummate the darn thing and procreate. If you sign a paper or vow through your religion that you won't end what you start, then keep your promise. You better be smart enough to choose the person that will stay with you until death makes you part ways. Make it work. Now, if for some reason I was to lose my wife then I don't think, however, that I could give my daughters another mother, though. That's just very personal and in my opinion.
Where is the option for, "I'm looking for her replacement right now?" If i leave my clutchfans window open, i'd like for her to know... Just kidding, kinda.
Well, when they're dead, you wish they were still alive. When you're divorced, you wish they were dead. So they are similar, just completely opposite.
Agree, I'd imagine death is something MUCH harder to overcome while divorce, while painful, you can somewhat see coming and move on a bit easier. Death - Options 4 becomes a possibility Divorce - Options 1 and 2 become realistic while option 3 is a possibility.
I picked 2...When I first got divorced, I swore I'd never get married, and lived that lifestyle...Now, almost 6 years later, I don't want to be married, but wouldn't mind a committed relationship...so living together would be cool, but to find a woman willing to do that is pretty rare...
one and done me and my wife have been through our share, and to keep this short and simple i will say this, i love her, and if what we had to go through to keep that love going somehow doesnt end up working, there is no way i would invest that much emotions with someone else.
Why do you marry when you don't plan to have kids? In my case, for love. We didn't plan on having children and were happily married for nearly 20 years before deciding to change our minds. As for the "paper or vow through your religion," we were not and are not religious. My SO is a non-practicing Catholic, who goes to mass with her very religious sister maybe once or twice a year, more to please the sister (who teaches at a Catholic school), than because she's religious. A piece of paper? That's all it is. If love and the responsibility of raising children aren't enough incentive to make the marraige a meaningful and happy one, then **** the piece of paper. In my opinion.
