Peeing at the urinal: Which direction do you look?

At the stream, unless someone's violating the urinal code. In that case, I look up.

 

I hate people who violate the urinal code.

 

It makes for a really uncomfortable situation. If someone does it, I usually angle my body away from them. I just don't want my penis to end up on a website.


Seriously though, one of my best friends, when he was in 1st grade, had another kid walk into the same stall as him while he was peeing. He said the kid just sat there and stared at him. So what does he do? He turns around and pees all over the kid's leg.

I still laugh today when I think about that.

 

I look at whoever I happen to be pissing on.

 

I hate how you're the only one using the urinal.. then some dude comes in and stands right next to you when theres like 5 other urinals that are open... anywho i look down then up..

 

That's what I meant by the "urinal code."

The situation upon which you speak is a strict no-no in the urinal code.

 

oh, gotcha

 

I look down. Especially if there are others using the urinals. I feel like if I am looking straight ahead that someone will think I'm looking at them out of the corner of my eye. And if others are looking straight ahead, I look down so I don't have to see out of the corner of my eye that they might be looking at me out of the corner of their eye.

 

R. Kelly???

 

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When I was in the second grade, I got sent to the principal for urinating on another students finger. I have been very careful ever since then.

I live in fear of the rare split stream, where one stream shoots out at a 45 degree angle.

I always look down.

 

I like to see how big the guy's crank is next to me..........






I look straight ahead and hope no one is checking my junk out.

 

If there's no one next to me, I really don't care.

If there is, I follow Dave Barry's advice - "...staring intently straight ahead, as though the wall tiles were inscribed with a secret formula for turning Grape Nuts into platinum. 'DEATH BEFORE EYE CONTACT', this is the motto of a guy at a public urinal."

 

I look down and stand back. I have to use two hands so it doesn't flop down on the urinal cake or the pad. I hate when that happens!

 

Did anybody else have the "who can pee highest on the wall" contest at the troth from K-2nd grade?

... um, yeah I hadn't heard about that kind of stuff either. just checking

 

beware the urinal conversationalists...

It's all a ploy so they can look at your junk.

If you want to see my junk you go to the website and pay your 19.95 like everyone else.

 

I never really put much thought into it.

My concern is in the shake. If that is covered, all is well.

 

I look longingly and meaningfully into the eyes of the guy on my left.

Just makes it a better experience for me.

 

Here's a question.


Let's say you go into the bathroom. There are three urinals. There's a dude at the urinal on the right.

So there are two free urinals. But here's the catch. The urinal on the left is a kiddie-urinal... the kind that's a foot shorter than the rest.

Which creates a dilemna. Do you:

1) Use the one in the middle, which violates the code of, whenever possible, leaving an empty urinal between you and the dude next to you?

OR

2) Use the one on the left, which violates the code of, whenever possible, use a grown man's urinal, not one made for 7-year-olds?


(Or is the answer Secret Option C, where you shuffle around awkwardly, pretend to check your cell phone, and wait for the dude to leave?)

This has been bothering me.

 

Regardless of the situation, I go to the urinal that is the closest to me. I could care less about rules. I don't want to look at some guy's process mind you, but I'm not for a second going to intentionally walk farther, so that some puss who's ashamed about his junk size can feel better about the distance between us.

If there's a wall of urinals.......like 10. and there's a guy at the far right one, and the door I walk in is on the right......I go to the closest one....if it's the next one over from him, so be it. When I gotta go, I gotta go.

If you're that worried about someone looking at your beef( or lack there of), or standing that close to you at a urinal....that's why God invented "stall men," go join their club.

For the record.........I make sure the stream is proper, and then I trace the tile grout at eye level.