Be friends with her and keep it going but don't let her consume all your thought and energy and don't believe for one second that it's either her or no one else You need to keep your options open and look for other women similar to her and to your liking
You're still really young dude. And she is too. Whatever it is you have with her be it just friendship or something more just take it day by day. In the meantime work on you. That's what is most important. Also I would date as much as I could if I were you. With respect to your Christian upbringing you're doing no one harm by dating without any expectations. Also there are plenty of women out there that do share your similar values. There are dating websites for transgender people, people with herpes, BDSM dating, farmers, middle aged people, elderly people, Catholics only, Christians only, etc. It's a new age. There's probably a dating site that's active out there filled with people that share similar values as you. You may view her as maybe the one right now, but there's plenty of the "the one's" out there regardless what you may believe. I firmly believe there's more than one "wife material" woman out there for everybody. The woman you're after maybe an incredible human being, but there are lots of amazing interesting attractive women out there that would probably at least give you a first date. I guess what I'm saying is don't get tunnel vision. Having had my 20s already pass me, I gotta say I wouldn't get married at least until I'm in my 30s or later. A man generally begins to enter his prime around his late 20s or early 30s. Your body is fully developed. You've probably got a career that pays well and have no student loan debt or any outstanding bills because you're making good money now. You generally start to figure out for certain who you are, what you like, and what you don't like. In other words, if you aren't already, you really get comfortable being in your own skin. There's lots of fun single years ahead of you if you play it right and it can be with plenty of good moral fiber Christian women if you so choose. You got a lot of living ahead of you. Enjoy it dude. Don't go pinning it all on one girl.
^ I get what you're saying. And I think some may have confused what I'm saying. I'm not convinced that she's "the one". I just feel strongly that we could have something serious down the road. I wouldn't address if she (any girl) is "the one" or not till after at least dating for awhile. As for dating around, everyone's different. I don't think there's anything wrong with playing the field. But my personality isn't one that dates around. I've just never been into it. I won't shut the door on opportunities, but I also won't actively seek multiple oppurtunities. Nothing wrong with dating sites, but they're not for me. I've never felt the need for a relationship, but have always done my best to be open to oppurtunities. That's really what this whole thing is about. If it doesn't work out, I'm sure we will be friends and I'll be fine with that. but I don't wanna waist an oppurtunity. It doesn't seem like she's shut the door, so I don't wanna act as if she has.
She was already making time to hangout with you... You should have left well enough alone and just took her where you would go on a date the next time you two would hangout without asking her to date and pouring out your feelings like you were trying to lock her down in a relationship... A relationship she may not be ready for. There is no coalation between the bible and dating and you could just be manifesting your love for her with prayer. Which may be why you can't get her off your mind.
Ok. Totally respect for that. However if I met you I would not believe you. I would think that you are looking for something way too serious in a relationship from the start. I really dont' think she turned you down yet and you still have a good chance if you can make your intentions clear so she understands. I could give you some things to say but I don't htink men need any advice in sweettalking . Good luck.
I appreciate the well wishes. And the advice. The actual one on one stuff isn't the problem for me lol. I can typically handle that stuff pretty well. It's the "what is she thinking" stuff that confuses that crap out of me lol.
Seriously didn't expect this much feedback. Wanna say thank you to all who shared what they feel was helpful. Some was, some wasn't but that's okay. Overall, I'm feeling pretty comfortable with the situation now. It may work out. It may not, that would suck but I think I can accept it. Probably won't be spending much time on this thread anymore. So again, thanks everyone.
My guess is that she enjoys your company and also enjoys her independence. Formalizing a relationship puts a kink on her other plans whether it be school, job, study, etc... It could be a distraction for her, but more realistically she doesn't want you to become possessive or needy and change the way things are now. You're both really young with rising aspirations and dreams. It'll be impossible to figure her thinking now as she probably hasn't done so either. Btw, I think you're forcing yourself in a tough position by not considering meeting or dating other women. That suggestion doesn't conflict with religion. I feel it's more of a personal ideal in finding a destined soul mate. Meeting more people doesn't negatively impact this at all. It opens opportunities for it. The other motivation against seeing more people is to shield yourself from getting hurt or disappointed when people don't turn out the ideal you expect them to be. At least if you do get hurt, there's One friend you can turn to for comfort and guidance.
My last reply probably. It's not that I'm not considering other women. It's just that I'm not someone who actively seeks those things, and there's not currently any other girls in my life id consider. If I meet someone, sure I'd consider it, but that's just not the case right now.
Sounds like you're not desperate, so just take things easy. If they work out, great. If not, then just stay friends. From what I can tell, she might be trying to tell you in a nice way that she's not interested in a relationship. From personal experience, if she really likes you, she'll make the time to spend with you even if she's really busy.
Your life and time is valuable. You cannot wait around for a girl to come around. As a fellow Christian let me tell you something girls (just like non Christian girls) have difficulty saying no and making decision. If she isn't interested right now in going out with you and spending time with you then the chances are slim, she will later. Her med school is of high priority right now for her. She is not considering you a high priority right now. As a fellow Christian single, I implore you please guard your heart. Continue praying without ceasing. I have been in the same boat as you and trust me the chances of them coming around are slim. She isn't wrong and neither are you. However I don't think she's the right person for you. "I don't want to miss and opportunity for something special, but I also don't want to wait around forever..." I guarantee you your tomorrow is greater. As a fellow Christian who has had that mindset in the quote above let me tell you there are MILLIONS of Christian girls out there Just fix your eyes on God, serve Him. Be the person with the character of a Godly man and watch the girls lining up for ya. Cheers.
1. If you truly believe God's direction, then he guides you accordingly. 2. As others (Christians, non, and atheists) have keenly pointed out...there may be a strong possibility that she may not be as interested in "something serious." Timing is quite key in these situations...and perhaps its NOT the right time. 3. Medical school is arduous and time demanding...But so was the preparation trying to get there. These students are essentially consumed in getting where they need to, and try limiting distractions to a minimum. Basically what you're experiencing is someone focused on studying more than relationships. Their goal is getting to medical/professional school first, then everything else opens up. 4. Finally, here is a link...and scroll down to complex decisions and read the things below it all the way to conclusion: http://www.evidenceunseen.com/theology/practical-theology/trusting-god-with-big-decisions/
One more point about this. Medical school is 4 years of hell, and most students are focused on getting to residency, etc. So there is a good chance that if she is interested for something down the line...you would have to wait for atleast 5-6 years. And no one is worth pausing your life for...You will know when uve met the right person, bc the other person will be ready for that moment as well. -God Bless.
Move on... maybe the reason is to completely show you how to be friends and be patient with the one that comes along. You're the one who finds the wife according the scripture. He that findeth a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor of the Lord. I don't think there is a bunch of confusion that comes with "Gods will" scripturally the blessing of the Lord maketh rich and addeth no sorrow, which this doesn't seem progressive at all. Sounds like your priority is her and her priority is everything else. You cannot make and sustain a relationship without spending time with a person and if you're concerned about being with one accord then it doesnt sound like thats the case right now. You're young, and you should be at least looking until you find that right one but I dont think she is. You may be getting close to the day but you are young and there are ALOT of single attractive women out there with your same wants.
