I'm certainly trying to trust God. I think it can be helpful to get advice from people that I don't interact with daily. It's possible I should put more trust in God though
Well there are a lot of possibilities here. First, she may have been raised to have the same level of dedication to Christ that you have and she may even feel that she should... but ultimately very few Christians consult prayer to the degree you are describing and it may very well be that she really doesn't want a partner that is as devout as you want to be. It is very common. In my youth I slept with and had carnal relations with many a devout Christian, Mormon and Muslim. She is young and perhaps doesn't know how to express her individuality yet. Another option is that she is wondering what do you have that she wants? She is clearly very ambitious and hard working and you said attractive. What do you bring to the table? Why should she pick you over a guy 10 years older that already is successful and mature and confident? I am not pointing this out to make you give up, only because often I notice that men never logically consider the fact that they have to have something special to attract a woman. Third option is that she thinks you are cool and likeable, but not enough to make you a larger part of her life. If this is the case then you can be persistent and respectful and hope she eventually loves you enough to make you a larger part of her life... but most likely this will not work. Last God gave you a brain, use it. Prayer and consideration of the word of God is an important part of being a Christian but it doesn't take away free will or the necessity to reach your own decisions. God doesn't always declare his hill through prayer and ultimately you have to do what makes you happy... There is more than one Godly direction.
The only option I can respond to is the 1st one. She's the only person I know that's my age and takes her faith more seriously than I do. It's one of the main reasons I like her. I may seem strong willed or solid in my faith. She's stringer willed and more solid in her faith.
I think that's the case. It's just tough to know for sure if she's letting me down easy, or if she's telling the truth and does see a possible future.
Here is what I have learned: If a girl likes you and wants to date you, she will do so no matter the circumstances. So, even if she had 3 jobs and worked 100 hours a week, she'd date you if she liked you.
Thanks for the input and encouragement. I know regardless it will all work out. I tend to overthink the things that I really care about.
You seem to be setting yourself up to be friendzoned. In a few weeks or months, when she meets another guy - and it takes him a couple of days to get with her... you are going to be very hurt when she is dating him and not you. So, I would just let her go if I were you to save yourself the grief.
I would say respect what she says and just be friends with her. Date other people in the meantime. Don't depend on her ever having time for you, but don't close the door either (unless you meet someone you like more).
Try and make time to spend with her. She'll greatly appreciate your efforts. Don't rush things, either.
how old are you op? It seems to me, that when you say serious, you mean go straight for marriage/engagement and that's not on her plans right now. Is she a shy girl and does she had previous dating experience? Maybe she is even more inhibited than you. And you must decide if you want to date/get married to etc someone who is in that profession and will NOT have a lot of free time to devote to you now or in the future. Also what I don't like here is that you make it seem that she is your only choice for a future. She is not. There are around you more people around your age with your same faith and principles that you haven't met yet. So is that you really like her, or that you are into her because you believe she is the only one you can find?
I'm 22, she's 21. I'm definitely not saying I'm set on marriage, there's no way I could look that far into things. So I just mean dating when I say I see a future. I'm not a needy person, I think I could handle the time away if I know how she feels. I know she's not the only one out there. But we have so much in common and have so much fun together, it just makes sense to me. She's and introvert, wouldn't say she's shy though.
^ and we have very simile dating backgrounds. Purposely stayed away for a long time. But have had a few none serious relationships.
okay then. Does she know that when you mean taking her out, you don't mean straight up serious relationship that leads to marriage/ engagement? Because that can be easily be lost in translation here. Maybe she thinks that your intentions are far more serious from the beginning than she would like. If I were you, I would speak to her again and tell her that I would really want to spend more time together and take her out and see how it goes and that I totally respect that she has many obligations and limited time but I feel that it is worth a chance because of the way I feel about her etc etc . But you must realise that the person you wish to date will have not so much spare time. Though I'm sure you can make it work if you want, for example help her if possible with looking after her nieces and doing some things together etc. You should really give it a chance again but be tactful and not too demanding or pushy. Be nice and just show her how much you like her and that it is worth it to give it a chance.
I wouldn't recommend being close to her because you might complicate matters. Women share emotionally usually before physically. So being friends with her will create an emotional connection irregardless of intention. If that is not her intent than yall should wind down. Communicate that to her if she is not interested and maybe that i shouldn't be with you one on one but with groups. That way you don't stop her and vice versa.
After living under the constant repression and guilt imparted by strict religious upbringing, I've found that preacher's daughters can become sexual freaks. Throw some Colossians (3:18), Titus (2:5), and Peter (3:1) at her to make her submit.
I strongly agree with this advice. OP, if you were in her position and had a crazy schedule would you still date her? Think about that.
To be clear. She didn't tell me she was too busy to date. She just said she's not ready for something serious, for whatever reason. And that if we were to date it would turn serious. I'm speculating when I bring up her busy schedule. We're planning on meeting up and talking thru this stuff soon. As many have suggested, that should clear things up hopefully. Thanks to everyone who chimed in. I don't pretend to be an expert (or have any clue whatsoever) on women so seeing lots of different opinions has helped.
