[Marriage] Prenuptial Agreements - what does CF think?

Anyone who goes into marriage NOT wanting to share something with the person they love... shouldn't get married, or shouldn't be subjecting other people to keep their hands off their money. Once you marry, you're SHARING everything. Stop trying to make marriage something it's not. It's supposed to be a mutual investment of your time, finances, memories, etc.

If you have that much of a trust issue, don't get married. Be as selfish as you want to be, don't bring another person into this, and enjoy your money alone... hire strippers and escorts to satisfy your physical materialistic needs.

 

First marriage with no kids, AGAINST.

Second marriage with kids from previous marriage, FOR.

 

No one is against sharing DURING the marriage, the question is if the other part suddenly should receive 50% AFTER it. The marriage is over at this point, so the sharing sentiments are not in effect anymore.

 

I have no problem with a prenuptial agreement that says when a marriage end you get 0 or some other set % of premarital assets that we shared while married.

However, how many people actually sign a prenuptial agreement that says something like "whatever money earned during the marriage belongs solely to the person that actually earned it from their business dealings if this marriage dissolves."

 

This was a hypothetical answer to illustrate why/when I would approve of a prenup! My wife and I do not have a prenup, everything that we have is OURS. Thankfully since we got married (over 20yrs ago) our net worth has grown. That gain is my family's gain, INCLUDING my children. If my wife should pass away (100yrs from now), and I met someone special who I wanted to marry I would! I would marry her because I trust her. The wealth that I have though, I acquired it with my first wife, and I'm certain that she would want me to look after our children (as do I), and make sure that the wealth that we acquired together is pased on to our children! I am not willing to bet my children's future/wealth on my choice to trust my second wife! If I made a mistake and married the wrong person my children shouldn't have to pay for my mistake! Once again the prenup is for my children, not for me.
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Read my first post a little slower please.
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YES, they should. But there should be no "pre-agreement." Now you're talking about 50%, which doesn't even matter.

BEFORE you get married, you should know that you will have to share everything for the rest of your life. Marriage isn't a "temporary" thing, like many people believe. Don't get married if you think that way. Don't make your "prenuptial agreement." This isn't a BUSINESS, it's a MARRIAGE.

Married is a commitment for life and it is a promise to keep forever. It seems like you're "pre-determined" to "keep all your finances" because you already think it won't work.

Self-fulfilling prophecy is in effect.

 

I agree with SwoLy-D. That's a first.

 

that's the thing with marriage though. it's not SUPPOSED to be temporary. and i don't know a single couple who thought it would be. but you know what, **** happens. you get tired of each other. you find out the person you thought you knew isn't the same anymore. somebody gets fat and isn't attractive anymore. somebody runs up your credit cards, doesn't pay the bill. you fight. you fall out of love. your children aren't stupid. they see the family is falling apart. and that "commitment" you promised goes out the window when you can barely stand to be in the same room with your spouse. it happens often. you're just fortunate it hasn't happened to you. you may be in wonderful marriage and live happily ever after. lucky you. but i've seen it in a 2 year marriage and a 35 year old one. and if your wife is a compassionate person she won't use your children against or try to take you for every penny. IF she's compassionate.

 

**** happens isn't a good enough reason to "be prepared" for divorce.

 

Even if you become filthy rich with a prenup, lawyers can still find ways to poke holes and void the prenup. I think Kobe had one and is still terrified of a divorce.

**** happens means **** happens.

I guess it's a good insurance policy but both people have to sign the thing...

 

i don't see how it's any different than an insurance policy against theft, fire, or death. you hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

 

That is REALLY sad.

It's different because humans aren't property.

 

actually it's life. just like your happy marriage is life. some things turn out better, some turn out worse than you expected.

i bet you have health insurance. why? don't you have a perfect diet that would prevent any type of illness or disease?


btw, i wouldn't ask for a prenup but i understand why someone would want one. and if marriage is forever, why are divorces allowed?

 

Why do you compare love between two human beings with a disease or with an illness you can't stop from contracting or infecting you? That's not a good analogy in the absolute worst way.

 

insurance is protection against catastrophe. you buy health insurance in case you get sick, auto insurance in case of an accident, home insurance in case your house burns down. will any of those "catastrophes" happen? maybe, maybe no. will you and your wife not love each other in the future? maybe, maybe no.

 

A prenup doesn't provide marriage insurance. It does not provide money when things are bad to fix the marriage. Divorces are allowed because people that shouldn't be married are getting married.

People that need prenups fit this category because they are not prepared to share everything they own with the spouse. If you share something with someone, it doesn't come with conditions.

Marriage isn't for everyone. If you can't handle sickness, health, rich, poor, for all the rest of your days...don't say you will. If you don't trust the person you are marrying to stick to their vows, don't marry them.

Don't be a sheep. Don't get married because that is what everyone else is doing after they spend X years with someone exclusively. If you want an out, it is best not to marry so you can always leave at a moments notice. No divorce proceedings and it is in your best financial security. This is so much better than being married with a prenup financially.

 

WTH... why are you asking if we won't love each other? That's comical, man. :grin: Now you're just trolling me. LOL. No way you're asking me this for real.

If you are asking for real: I know I won't stop, and I know she won't stop, either. I know I won't fail her, and I know she won't fail me, because this is the reason I chose her to be my partner forever.

Good luck in your future, man.

 

of course a prenup doesn't provide money to fix a marriage. it's there to provide protection for one party from going to the poor house. you can place your right hand on the good ole bible and say you'll love and care for someone forever (isnt' that what every newlywed does), it doesn't mean you (or your spouse) will even with the best of intentions. unfortunately, even in a marriage people change their minds.

 

yea, i forgot your life is perfect.