So a friend of mine came to visit me for the holiday weekend. She and I had a thing last summer that didn't work out due to a variety of factors, but had remained close friends ever since. We talk over email/text message every day, and the relationship thing always kind of remained on the backburner. Well, she told me the following facts this weekend: --She started smoking last December and didn't want to tell me because she knows I don't like it --She slept five five (5!) guys over the winter --She decided she didn't want to move here like she had been thinking about --She "loved me as a friend" (that has got to be one of the most disappointing phrases of all time) but the chance of us dating again wasn't going to happen --She has been "talking" to somebody else for the last month I suppose a lot of this was inevitable but I was still crushed. Anyway, I just wanted to vent a little bit so thanks for reading.
I offer you this advice. Getting with a loose woman is like hitting a grand slam, sure you get to round the bases quickly, but by the time you score you realize that 3 guys have just been there.
Ouch. Sorry. Even in situations like this when there's no guarantee of things working out, it hurts. To use a cliched phrase, I feel your pain. Love stinks. For my part, I officially give up on it.
Ouch dude. Isn't it great that girls pretend not to get whats going on when a guy calls or emails them EVERY day. I got conned into confessing my feelings to a "friend" about a month ago. She was "SHOCKED", and claimed she had no idea. Yeah, I've been calling her every day for the last 9 months because she's just THAT interesting. Puh-leeeaze. Needless to say, the ladder theory was proven true once again.
did you ever stop to think that the problem is calling her everyday? of course she knew you were interested, but she figured she could have you anytime. so, there was no rush to snatch you up. i think alot of failed "relationships" are a result of the guy being the girl's girlfriend. stop listening to her complain about her guy problems.
Women are like streetcars. You miss one, there is another one coming down the tracks in about 5 minutes. Get out and party. You'll forget all about her in a month.
Depends on the girl. Some types do seem to put people on the "friends ladder" and that's that. But not everyone. Actually, listening to someone's guy problems can sometimes help... get someone vulnerable enough to open up to you, then be there when she needs you the most, and you're on the fast track to whatever it is you want. But, again, everyone just seems to want what they don't have, so it doesn't matter.
No doubt. But hey, if the a-hole routine came naturally to me, I wouldn't be on the 'net complaining about not getting any
If she admitted to sleeping with 5 guys over the winter, you can safely multiply that x2 to get a more accurate number. sorry to hear the bad news, but you'll find somone better just be patient.
paraphrasing..."You know...this 'I'll be there for you' crap is the greatest thing since sliced bread."
Translation... She started smoking last December and didn't want to tell me because she knows I don't like it She figured telling you this would get you to go away...but to no avail She slept five five (5!) guys over the winter She slept with 10 guys over the winter She decided she didn't want to move here like she had been thinking about She met someone who lives near her now and at the moment, there is no way she will move back She "loved me as a friend" (that has got to be one of the most disappointing phrases of all time) but the chance of us dating again wasn't going to happen pretty much self-translated She has been "talking" to somebody else for the last month You know the guy who she started fooling around with at the end of your "fling".....she's still bangin him This wasn't meant to poke fun....we have all been there...trust me. Plenty of other fish in the sea my boy....time to cut bait and start over!
Do yourself a favor and break all contact with her. Nothing good will come of it. Nothing. No... not friendship... nothing. Yeah I said NOTHING. Stop calling her. Lose her phone number. Throw away all pictures of her (except the nudes). Trash anything and everything that reminds you of her. When she tries to contact you, don't answer, and don't return her call/IM.
After she said that did you ask her if a bj was out of the question? Do as Droxford says. He knows his stuff (in this instance anyway).
Wow. Completely unintentional and perhaps a bit callous but you've just solved a mental dilimma for me. I just broke up with a girl who moved across the state because "she just couldn't start a long distance relationship now". We'd been friends for a couple years and still talk everyday like we never broke up but in the back of my mind I've had this creeping suspicion this road can only lead to disaster. Now I am certain. Thanks, and sorry for your troubles but I've a feeling you just got let off the hook.
Sorry you're crushed. I think droxford's mostly right. Unless you can really put the past behind you, and are truly interested only in being friends, you're only hurting yourself by stringing yourself along with this foot-in-the-door type thrill maintaining a friendship to someone you're still attracted to.
Is it true that guys enjoy the thrill of the chase only? Sometimes it seems that way. Trying to impress someone. Being friends with a girl in hopes that it will lead to more. Going to great lengths for all this when there are plenty of other girls out there... but they must not be interesting or challenging enough. Even within relationships, it seems like they try hard only when they don't feel like they've completely captured you.
i think the guy was "in love." he got crushed. no chase. he got crushed by a girl he considered a friend....there's nothing here to suggest he was just pretending to be her friend. i married my best friend. she could have crushed me, too. fortunately, she didn't. unless you mean "crush" in a dave matthews sorta way. he's probably not in need of stereotyped guy criticism right now, though. may not be the best time for it.
