Loaned a friend $3000, gave me a bounced check, what to do?

yea OP could get in deep trouble for possible for libel since the dad didn't do anything and this could ruin his reputation

 

5th Google result for me.

 

I agree, that is uncool. Leave the father out of this. It is your fault, not his.

 

The friend was someone who was given that large amount of money in the first place. The further advice below is really dependent on how the friend was before. If he's always been a douche, then now you see it more. If he was decent despite being a spoiled brat, then maybe work on that.

Echoing some other people's point...people in tough situations act differently that over time will smooth out. Taking a step back and being decent if only for a little bit gives the OP more options, to be good or to use it to build a case with a lower chance of dismissal.

Dropping all contact with the friend and dropping the idea of getting your money back, like others have suggested, is a lose-lose situation. You get no money in return and you've permanently lost a friend who you now have to resort as some life lesson where the price paid is 1,200 bucks and how you react to future relations with a weary heart and broken trust.

Maybe I'm too lenient on people making mistakes but I'm assuming the friendship had an initial worth that was more than three thousand dollars. I have been there before, and it sucks feeling conned. Anyways, whether it was good times or memories, having a fight might reduce the temporary value of the relationship. Making it personal and emotional is like putting a fire sale on the relationship's initial valuation. It's also interesting people would likely forgive physical confrontation over confrontation with money.

I don't see how different it is from letting a friend who's down on his luck crash at your place rent free for 3+ months even while he's getting on your nerves and overstaying his welcome 2 months too much. It's just that money is fungible and has infinite options to the lender's mind.

If the OP doesn't need the money immediately, then the money's value in this case is worth another man's word, which may not be the same or similar as the deadbeat friend's value of the remaining 1,200 bucks that he's paid back over time.

The fact that this case is emotional and carries charged feelings among the people who reply ("never lend money to relations" helps no one here. It's more a personal affirmation in a public forum) means that a better resolution lies in laying things rationally and quantifying the emotional chords that are running through the borrower and lender.

At the end of the day, while you've (the OP) seen a different side of your friend, whatever made you gave him the 3K will still be there. That may be a tough pill to swallow, or it maybe something to accept. But don't stop there like many others have and have dismissed the deadbeat. You could move further and discover other aspects of the friend to pair the bad with the good. Or maybe there's just more bad qualities, but that's the risk of knowing someone and reaching through.

 

i've gone through this about 6 times ( bounced check), while im not sure if business related issues are different( which i did it for our company) but at the end its a civil matter.Every single time a prosecutor was assigned and tried to solve the problem by meeting between us half way, which i always declined leading to a judge.

 

Liens, especially from a court judgement, are recorded and frowned upon as that is 1 huge red flag as to doing credit business with someone in the future. Way worse than missing a couple of payments. It says that you may have to go to court to get your money back and NO lender wants to do that.

 

Sounds tragic. You can play your violin for him as long as he pays you back. Don't go for "feel sorry for meeee..!" trick. Remember, he's not your friend at this point, but rather just someone who owes you money.

 

This isn't anything a good ass kicking won't solve.

 

Just learn your lesson and move on. Anytime you "lend" money to a friend just consider it a gift. If they pay you back fine.... If not whatever.

 

This.

 

My mom loan her friend 20k in the 90's to open up her own business. She would pay her monthly with interest. She paid my mom in full within 3 years. All word of the mouth too. If you're wondering. We're asian

 

My own rule when lending money is if I can afford to give away x amount of money, then I go ahead and lend it, otherwise I dont lend it. I find that it is best to forget about that money than ruin a relationship. Just because you might have the money does not mean you can loan it.

 

See, I think thats a completely different situation. In this case, the friend is in such a bad way that he can't even afford a place to stay. You're giving him food and shelter. Its either that or he is homeless. Big difference here.

While in the OP's case, his friend needed $3,000 in ONE WEEK for "bills" (sounds shady). His dad was supposedly going to loan it to him in a week so he wasn't in some life or death situation. Didn't sound like he was going to be homeless and needed a place to crash. He even went as far as to write a bounced check to assure his friend he would have been paid back.

Now without those two setups (dad and check) to assure the OP that he'll get his money back, I don't think the OP is quick to loan the friend the three grand. That to me shows that this was a very thought out con and I wouldn't want those traits as a friend. I don't have anything against with the rest of what you said but completely disagree that letting a friend crash for a few months is the same situation as OP.

Sure he paid him back a grand. Even though it was after he BSed about paying him back in one week. Great, he was doing what he was suppose to do. Are we going to pat him on the back for doing what is right? But he falt out, refused to pay the rest back after a confrontation (are we positive it was phsyical? could have been a verbal fight).

That's me though. I'm a very nice and understanding person, but If you take advantage of me because of that in the manner of what happened to the OP, I'm done. That friendship is not needed. A real friend would not BS you like that.

 

if he has a GF, ask him if you can borrow her for few days and you'll call it even.

 

You are a good guy.

He seems ashamed and hurt and can use a friend more than the money
so . . . If you ok with it .. . get ya money back
handle him with a bit of a long handle spoon
be weary
but
I would say it will take some time s maybe years to repair this friendship

*IF* that is what you want

Rocket River
sometimes the friendship is not worth the headache

 

Only if it is a lie . .. .correct?

Rocket River

 

Did you also learn to not define people by their parents' wealth? Honestly it seems like you loaned him the money in the hopes of not only getting paid back but as a down payment on social and professional connections down the road. Then someone left you off a guest list and you turned into a workout officer.

 

What the blazes...

I see none of that in his original post... Stating how wealthy his father is came off to me as a listed reason as to why he felt confident about the loan....

You may projecting your own intentions in such a scenario...