Loaned a friend $3000, gave me a bounced check, what to do?

Add me to those saying that this is good advice. As for keeping the "friend," that's on him, not you. If he were in different circumstances, I might say something a bit different, but your "friend" sounds like a user, and he's using you. Sounds like his father has figured out what he is as well, but he's still his father. He can help him, or not. Take this to court and ask for triple damages and attorney fees. You deserve that for having to go through this mess simply because you attempted to do a solid for a friend. And consider this a lesson learned. Don't lend money to friends unless the situation is dire, and you are prepared to make it a gift if he/she can't repay the loan. Good luck.

I actually feel sorry for this guy's father.

 

But why would anyone care for this friend? If I pay you a large amount of money, and you flat out refuse to pay it all back to me, that doesn't sound like a true friend. I should buy him a beer or be like whatever happened, happened? Lol F That. That is a friendship not worth saving, literally. It actually cost him money.

Exactly. That guy seems like a real d******d. The only reason I would try to still be his friend would be to get my money back but sounds like that wouldn't happen.

 

good advice, arabrocket (both posts). first good response in this thread and it took almost 4 pages.

he gave you the finger, you can either give it back and put some worry in him with all of this and either get your money back or give the credit his finger. or you can learn the lesson the hard way and never loan a desperate man money unless you really want to help him put and do not mind losing the money.

 

Listen to arabrocket.

Sorry but he played you from the beginning. He fed you a lie. It's a wonder you got anything back but now he thinks he'd paid you back enough. He probably got tired of paying and actually started resenting you leading up to the fight. And now he's given you the middle finger as a stamp of "paid".

He's not a friend. He never really was.

 

I'm not sure how good of a friend OP is either. He didn't get very descriptive. Did the friend ask for the loan in bad faith? Maybe, but maybe not. He has paid over half the amount, so it wasn't like he made zero attempt to pay the money back. He said his dad was going to give him money, which maybe he did expect, as OP has said the dad is still footing the friend's bills.

I'm also curious to what makes him think the dad is so rich? Because he's a partner in a small-medium sized CPA firm? I worked in a similar sized firm, and none of the partners came close to making 7 figures a year.

 

his friend gave him the finger. i think all bridges are burned.

i would not give the finger to anyone willing to loan me 3 grand interest free. even if he could keep this guy around a a friend, why would he want to? the op has three choices:

take him to court for the full three grand. if he does this, there is a good chance he wont pay
take him to court for 1200 plus court costs and your time.
forget it and take the expensive lesson.

option 1 is revenge, 2 is taking a lot of time for $1200, 3 is if you care about the guy or your time and dont want the headache.

 

i'd pay $1200 for confirmation that my "friend" is actually a scumbag.

 

I'd go for full revenge.

Even if you don't get your full money back... after all that, it would be very satisfying if you could somehow bankrupt him or make him suffer (a lot).

 

The middle finger is an instant action. Suing someone is a drawn out process. Friends often get in fist fights, and are able to put it behind them, so a middle finger is nothing. I'm very curious to how the fight went down.

 

Definitely take him to court...if he was really your friend, he wouldnt react the way he did.

 

You need some proof of the check bouncing and any and all proof that he has made some payments to you recently if you wish to go the small claims route.

I am an attorney and when it comes to "situations" like these, I tend to handle these matters internally. I have found fear and pain make people far more agreeable.

Still, over $1,200 I would just let it go.

 

It is more than an instant action. It's a big **** you to the face. It is not like he blurted out something he did not mean. I can even get over a scuffle. But you have to be pretty angry at someone to raise your hand to them and give them the finger. He promised the op his money back in a week and the op took his word for it. Either man up or say sorry I do not have it, and I have no intentions of paying it back anytime soon. Don't give him the finger.

There are some things that aren't covered by bros will be bros. The finger is on that list because actions speak louder than words.

 

Good friends are worth way more than $3K.

Loans to friends when they are in trouble should always be viewed as charity unless they are habitual.

 

How about trying to smooth things over and get him back on the payment plan so you can avoid all this? People get upset and say stupid sh_t. It has a tendency to blow over when calmer heads prevail. What were you'll fighting about anyway? It sounds like he was paying you back in installments if I read it correctly even if the check bounced initially? That's better than him not paying you back anything...which I've seen happen with friend loans before. If there is any hope of salvaging your friendship, then talk it out. Otherwise, if you are de-friending him, then by all means do what you feel you got to do.

 

You can get over a scuffle, but not the finger? This is way later, after he's been paying him back. We really know nothing except OP expected to be able to be paid back a week later, and friend didn't have the funds, and months later after paying 60% of the amount owed, there was a fight, that led to the friend flicking him off.

If the friend had no intentions of paying OP back, why did he pay $1,800? I think we are passing judgement on the friend with too little information.

My brother once asked to borrow money from me. He said he'd pay me back in a week (or 2, or a month, I don't remember exactly). He even went as far to write me a bad check. I went on with my life just assuming I'd never get the money back. I never brought it up, and he quit promising to pay me back after he couldn't do it the first couple of times. He quietly paid me back 2 years later (with some interest, IIRC).

 

I'm octupling the advice to never loan money to friends. Give as much money away to them as you can handle, sure, but don't ever "loan" it to them with the expectation that you'll ever see it again. Especially to a deadbeat living off his dad who probably has no idea how precious money can be to the rest of us.

There is literally no $3,000 bill in the world that can't be put off a week unless you snorted all the drugs you were supposed to sell or something. "Oh man, I've got $3k coming in next week, but I really need it now to pay these bills." Haha yeah right. I'm sure you can see how silly that story seems now. If you need the money that bad, you better start selling some ****, and for rock-bottom prices, too.

 

The fact that the guy is willing to walk away from a debt like that is enough for me to not want him as my friend in the first place. It's an expensive lesson, and probably worth taking him to court over just to put him in his place. He's 27. At some point in his life, he should probably learn about responsibility. If the OP has to be the one to teach him about it, then so be it.

 

Do you consider me a friend?

 

You can't get blood from a turnip

Taking the time and effort to go to court is usually only worth it if the defendant has some money the court can get to.

He may, like having a paid for car in his name, or he may not.

 

In similar news I lent my friend 60 bucks and he hasn't paid me back... But he did give me a gram of weed to ease the pain.