It begins...

Alright, so I dropped the girl off at the airport Sunday. She'll be in Perth for nearly a month.

What shall I do?

Obviously New Years is right around the corner, so that should be interesting.

And we also have our annual after Christmas Christmas party.

Below are some accounts of me when I'm single...

But I think that I shall reminisce about some past foibles.


#1 This very attractive girl was hitting on me way back when. The problem was she had lost an arm in a car accident. I tried to be cordial and flirty, but I wasn't that interested. Forward to 2:00 a.m. and she comes over again. I take her home and make her do one arm push-ups to make out with me. My friends called her the one-armed bandit for some time after that.

#2 I had just broken up with my college sweetie, and was feeling fairly down. My friend tried to cheer me up. He'd been screwing this stripper for a bit and she had a friend. So we went and met them at the strip club. All seemed to be going well enough, and I was even making out with the girl he set me up with. Then the club closed, and we were supposed to follow them back to their place. They finally got out at around 3:00, and we followed them for nearly an hour before they realized they were going the wrong way. Then, at around 5:00, they decided they wanted to go into a p*rn shop to see if they could find the video that my friends girl was in. Fine, but I was more than annoyed. Then they decide they want to go into one of the back rooms of the adult store. My friend and I oblige, only to have the girls giggle and constantly show gay p*rn. We finally get back to their place around 7:00. The Sun is literally back up, and the girls want to put in the p*rn they rented. Sadly, the VCR cable had been crimped on the end and try as I might, I couldn't get it off. "No problem" says my friends girl. They lived in a high rise and she could get maintenance to fix it. So we waited. My boy stayed in the bedroom and the girl I was hooked up with casually made out in the living room.

Then, and God as my witness, I am serious, the girl brings up this ripped dude and he says "you need me to fix your cable?" They say yes. Then the guy uses some pliers and gets the new cable in and, lo and behold! It's p*rn! At this point in time we are all on this King sized bed. However, both girls take off his shirt, pour whipped cream on him and lick it off. It's about 8:00 at the time, and I give my friend a glare and we leave.

Found out later they wanted an orgy, but even I'm freaked out about that.


#3 Another one would be a New Years over a decade ago. I went single, and saw this really attractive girl wearing an extremely revealing dress. Our eyes locked, and she left her date almost immediately. We stayed together for the rest of the night, where obvious things happened.

Next morning, I realized that my boys had videotaped a lot of the shenanigans from the night before (we were sharing a hotel room.) Then that morning, while they are videotaping, her date from the night before calls. At first she's just making excuses for how they separated, but then she goes into full screaming mode with him. So much so that the video has a take of me doing a ""Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood" at the camera. (for the younguns, it was an SNL skit that Eddie Murphy used to do.) Regardless, I was done. So we took her back to her place. I walked her in, and she begged me to stay, almost psychotically. I said I couldn't because my friends were outside and we had things to do. She reluctantly accepted, and then asked if we could take her to her friends. I obliged, and she grabbed a rat dog that shed all over the car, all the while she's screaming at the dog not to shed.

We finally get to her friends place, and I, with friends in cars waiting (we've been trying to drop her off for over an hour with a three car caravan) classily walk her to her friends apartment. Apparently, she can tell by stepping up the stairs next to her friends fenced in patio, whether or not they are there. She starts to peer over, and I toss her and her dog over the fence and make a header towards the cars. As we were all spinning off, she was still chasing.(and I can't really describe in words how annoying and unrelenting this girl was. I really tried to be nice. The fact that 10 of us saw it as rational is still weird, but you had to be there. And She was already half way over the fence, so...)


I got dozens of others, but I digress.

Who knows what might occur? Could be interesting...

Details will follow.

 

Same one, my friend. Love of my life? Possibly.

But that has nothing to do with this thread.