So I am coaching soccer at my Y. Doing my sons 5 year old team and my daughters 3 year old team. Everything was cool with the 5 year old team until this one child showed up yesterday. Man he is so bad. And he does this stuff with his mom watching and doesn’t care. In addition to acting like he doesn’t care about anything he hit my son (not hard or anything) and other kids in the head. He then pulled on a girls pig tail. I got fed up and asked him “Do you want to be kind to your team mates and play or sit by your mom? “ "I'll sit by my mom". I said "Fine, run over there now and don’t get up until I come over there." I don't think he thought I would really put him in time out in front of all the parents. You can tell by the look on his mom's face she is used his terrible behavior. At one point we were doing dribbling drills around cones and he kept standing in front of people kind of blocking them on purpose. I told him nicely he needs to move aside, not bother the other kids and wait his turn. He made some face, stuck out his tongue, and made rude animal like sound at me. I got down at his level and I told him he will never speak to me that way again and if I ever hear him make that sound he is going to sit out the entire practice. He was a little better then. Then it was time to pass out jerseys and he is almost killing the kids to get his first. Sigh… I wish I could just relax with the kids and teach them to love a sport rather than have to discipline one guy. You guys have any positive ways to get through to kids who obviously lack discipline? I try the nice guy approach but with some it just doesn’t seem to work.
South Park gives you the answer <iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Rx_lTgUSyB4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Punish the team every time the bad kid does something wrong. Tell your team it’s up to them to get that kid in line then sit back and wait for that Full metal Jacket.
probably grow up to be a sociopath. treat him nicely or he might come back for you when he gets older.
Man brother I have been there - if the parents are push overs, you just give him clear examples of what they SHOULD be doing. I had a kid on our soccer team that kept falling down on purpose in the field of play - I finally picked him up, and sat him behind the goal, he was screaming and crying, I told him we would let him come back in the practice when he was done acting like a baby. He got louder, and we ignored him - then about 30 seconds go by and he stops and notices no one is doing anything....I waited a few minutes went over and told him to come back on now that he was being a good teammate. We still had issues during the season, but not so much - he still calls me coach and it is 6 years later. DD
You did everything right. I teach kids skiing lessons in the winter (2-7 year olds) and I deal with it every day. If they are not interested in playing and being disruptive to everyone else, at some point you have to just let them sit out. Parents usually understand and know their kids are a handful. If he keeps hitting other kids, tell hit mother. It doesn't happen often but I have told parents that their kid isn't welcome in my class anymore because they are ruining everyone else's time or endangering the other kids. They almost always get it. And if the kid doesn't want to be there, no point in the kids parents paying for him to play in your soccer league
not sure if serious. my sister tries to play that game with me when i discipline her kids. they sure don't act up around me like they do when she's around. boundaries are important, especially at that age.
Depends on what "acting up" means. If it means a kid is acting like he is 5 years old, then it's no big deal. If it means they are being disrespectful or hitting or spitting or things of that nature, then there should be some discipline.
I had a kid in soccer that didn't want to be there. She's a girl, so it didn't manifest in disruptive behavior, but more just not playing or not trying hard. Even disciplinarian parents aren't going to be able to make a kid care about something he doesn't care about. I think you're handling it well, considering. For my part, I made my kid continue to show up even though she was going to half-ass it. Pulling her out would reinforce the wrong things. But, I won't sign her up for soccer anymore.
You did the right thing I think. Try and get the parents help in curbing the kid's behavior. Continue to do like you did, and give the kid choices, but emphasize that it is his choice, so that he has to take responsibility. You can have the choice to wait your turn, or sit out for 10 minutes, or whatever the other consequence is. After he makes repeated bad choices, have a private talk with him about how you've noticed the mistakes he's making, and ask if he really wants to play on the team or not. Go over what it means to be a good teammate, and that if he wants to be on the team you haven't noticed him showing you that. Tell you him you know that he can do it, and you believe in him. If the bad choices keep happening tell him, that if he doesn't want to be part of the team he can tell his mother to take him out.
Yeah acting like a five year old is different than what this kid is doing. Sitting down on the field or ball, talking/cutting up, picking flowers, general goofing off are all normal kid things. Hurting others, talking not nice, actively ignoring me are all punk moves.
It's been a while since I worked with kids that age... Preteens are what I coach now and I deal with discipline in a variety of ways It sounds like you are on the right track. My one suggestion is to recognize his good behaviors as well as disciplining the bad. It sounds like the kid just needs structure to learn appropriate behavior since his mother did not give him that. Once he is repeatedly faced with the correct responses it will get easier. Also having an assistant coach help with thy works too
I know a guy that knows a guy. Seriously though, I have a similar problem with one of the kids in by Tiger Cub den. It sucks.
