OP, I guarantee that this will work. It might not be the most preferable, but you can't have it both ways. Go get drunk and then ask her. You seem really uptight.
Cleverly disguised "how do I stop my pencil collecting fetish" thread. But in all seriousness, small talk is key. How is she doing? What is her major? How many kids does she want to have? What are her hobbies? Would she like to grab some food? Or you could feign like you need help with some of the classwork, and ask her to help you, even if you're a genius at whatever you're learning at the time. Like many other posters have said, OP is overthinking things. Just relax, come up with a small talk gameplan, and go from there.
Develop your dark triad personality traits. Everything is numbers and the numbers don't favor a nice beta.
When you guys do talk. Did you catch her fixing her hair? One of many signs girls tend to do if she likes you. I normally call them out if i catch them in the act. "like hey, you just fix your hair! So when are you going to ask me out"? Great ice breaker.
Yeah I've been in your position many a time. College for some was great in terms of meeting and hooking up with people. It's great for everyone -- in theory. But if you don't have the experience or just a late bloomer, how are you supposed to feel comfortable enough to even ask them out? Kinda sucks and feels embarrassing but that's part of it. Big challenge was with the shy girls... They're not easy to "crack" especially if youre also shy. But it's true, a simple "let's grab a bite" after class is easy and comfortable for the girl usually. But you're shy you say? Best advice I can suggest is what I always do: get them to talk about themselves (just don't make it too much like an interview). Or just ask for her number after a brief chat. Just straight up. No need to qualify or provide too many details. I've been told I'm "mysterious" by the way I rarely talk about myself or answer questions directly. Yes I'll most often answer questions in a sarcastic (not mean) manner, but more often than not I'm typically aloof. Girls like to laugh. Make that your mission (playful but not at their expense). If they don't like to laugh... They're not worth it. Regret sticks with you. I wouldn't be complacent and have "hope." I hate the missed opportunities over had in life, especially those right in front of me.
read about this disorder...and then talk to someone if you need help...Classes like public speaking, or classes that involve group or team work can get you started with improving your confidence. Some folks are shy, but you seemingly are quite disturbed by this. Or write down what you wanna say and give it to her(of course this is the most creepy thing to do now days, but some older folks might find this charming??? lol) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety And if all else fails...just repeat movie lines...
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do you talk much with girls in real life? I'm not trying to be rude, just genuinely saying that the more you converse/interact etc, you'll increasingly feel at ease. During early highschool i was a bit reserved in that respect but come schoolies it was like a switch got turned on. Try talking to girls that you have absolutely no interest in and just say whatever comes into your head, and you'll get better and better at it, and it'll become more natural. Girl's can sense when you're nervous like a shark to blood in the open water, unless you look like ryan gozleme you've gotta have some communication abilities. good luck op
this is a really spot-on post. you say that won't work it's just this one "special" chick who makes you feel this way, but i call bull****. I bet if you actively tried to banter with women in general - the old lady at the grocery store, the (what you deem) unattractive chick behind you in line, the cold b****y clerk at the DMV - it will magically become easier for you to talk to the good-looking ones. i'm wondering why this chick is so special to you in the first place, why she leaves you so tongue-tied. do you know what kind of stuff she likes? do you have...anything...in common? or is it because she's hot but doesn't give off a slutty vibe so by default you want to pursue? what if she has a boyfriend or is pining after and ex or is somehow unavailable to you? i can tell you that many women tend to find it creepy when they sense a guy wants to **** them without knowing them at all (unless you're ryan gozleme as panda mentioned). why do you think she would be interested in you, what do you have to offer? as much as it sucks, women are attracted to confidence, and you can't fake confidence. become confident by talking to women you're not attracted to, as we've mentioned, and building social proof. men are attracted to boobs, ass, and WHR, women are attracted to confidence and social proof. no offense, but you come off like a classic "nice guy" who will get burned and then be bitter throughout their twenties. and by "burned" i mean not getting to stick their dick in the first girl they seriously pedestalize.
Just talk to her my man - there is nothing to fear but fear itself. Just think, she might be "THE ONE" but if you never talk, she might be "THE ONE" for someone else. DD
I'm definitely no Casanova, but in my experience, the best things come from moments of spontaneous, out of character courage. I've spent way more nights, pondering opportunities I let slip away, than situations that didn't work out. Grow to not give a F, most people try so hard not to give a F, that essentially they are being counter productive. When you can just do what you want without any fear of how it makes you feel, or how others perceive you...that's truly not caring. Take chances, don't dance around everything, like asking for a pencil. To her, you were just asking for a pencil. Sit right beside of her in class, be more direct, make her laugh... and you're in.
FDR's main squeeze puts it best: “What could we accomplish if we knew we could not fail?” ― Eleanor Roosevelt
I'd probably never get any slimey hole if I was wasting my time waiting for these chicks to do their hair, lulz.
This. It's not about "not being the nice guy" or confidence per se. YOU DO YOU how you see yourself. If you're a nice guy (or whoever), be that guy no matter what others think. If they/she don't like you, it's on them.... not you. "How you feel about me is none of my business" Once you try so hard to impress others, especially the opposite sex, or make people like you based on their opinions, you lose yourself. You are who you are. Know your value and, if someone doesn't like it, ce la vie. When you're comfortable with you, you'll be amazed at how easy it will be to meet great girls. I'm not berating or knocking you by any means. I've been there believe me. I think we ALL have despite how some come off. We all have insecurities and want to be liked/loved. But, to me, there's no need to put her on such a pedestal because if she digs YOU.... great. If not, cool. Brush it off and meet someone who does. Oh, and stop watching all the p*rn.
Like the wise Elliot Hulse once quoted, "Do the thing, and you will have the power. Do not wait for the power. It will never come by waiting. Feel the fear, acknowledge the fear, and do it anyway." Thing is, since this is your first time, you may **** up. Guess what? There is not such thing as "The one". Guess what else? You'll have gained the confidence and experience to do it again and again. Occum's razor, my friend. No gimmicks, no "other media". No BS. Just tell her straight up "I think you're cute, and I'd like to know you better over coffee." Or something. Good luck.
