I've only read the title and already scanned the page looking for this eternal fountain of wisdom. Once again, the Assman has provided you with the path to follow.
i agree with fade.... that may have been your chance. you mentioned movies, restaurants, nice conversations, etc... but have you ever considered that some women don't want to become involved in a relationship every time they meet a guy? seriously... just because they're women doesn't mean that they don't think about sex as often as you do (it's sad that some consider them "skanks" or whatever when they do think that way). not all women are into the pretty things and gentleman-like behavior, drex. could be wrong though.
Of course I realize that. I'm not completely stupid. Maybe she doesn't want a relationship; maybe she just wants sex instead. In that case, I would not be interested. What you're talking about is precisely the question I'm trying to get some insight into: whether she's interested in a relationship or not. I don't know. Wish I did. As of now I'm liking Supermac34's advice the best. I'm just gonna ask her very directly if she wants to go out on a date the next time I get a chance.
Look it's obvious, same story as a million times before.... Girl goes to different college than her high school boyfriend, she thought they were in love and wants to be loyal to him (really she is just romanticizing the familiar in the face of the unknown) but they said they were going to see other people (really he is just fantasizing about all the strange he is going to get), until one of them gets too tense with the whole conflict and calls a halt or pops the question; you my friend are and will be a sideshow. Not that it is always a bad deal to be the sideshow, for one you are in the a position to catch the rebound but it takes a strong ego. That's how I ended up married to my wife, so i know of what I speak.
You kind of missed your chance right here(read on). She said it was great you were getting in touch with your feminine side. Your natural response would have been, "Wanna see my masculine side?" after which you lean in for a kiss move, take off your shirt(to show her your bronze) move, or show her something masculine move. Her comment seems to indicate she's looking for some masculineness. I dunno...just a thought. At least you could have been rejected right there and would know whether you have a chance or not.
Gene, you should know better than to post something so damned intelligent. Seriously, that's probably the best thing I've read in this thread. I think it sums things up very nicely. You should act accordingly, Drexlerfan, in my opinion.
I agree with the "ignore her" thing. That seems to drive girls crazy. It doesn't sound like she's interested. Sorry. Sounds like she's moody and just wants to be around you when/if she's bored or her sudden interest may be to see if you're still interested. Girls tend to know if a guy digs her or not. I could be very wrong and I hope I am in this case. Provided, that she isn't a psycho b****. I'm not one that you should take advice from. Lord knows I dropped the ball with soccer chick because I wasn't aggressive. Oh, but there is an x factor. Get her drunk and see what happens. Alcohol changes everything.
I'm not saying it can't happen but the transition is difficult especially when you have different intentions all along. It's easier when you don't have a good friendship to get in the way.
Friend zone is bad. If I'm "friends" with a hot chick, most likely it's because I want to sleep with her...or her friends.....or both. Most female friends dont' watch the game with you, get sloshed, etc. As for things like advice, I'd rather get it from my buddies. Women's perspective be damned.
That may be true. That still doesn't mean he shouldn't just ask the chick out on a date. The worse that can happen is that she says no. This goes back to my old story that I have mentioned before on the BBS about my Dad's old buddy from college. Not a good looking guy, but always dated good looking girls. He just played the odds. Asked every girl he was even remotely interested in out on a date. You'd be surprised on how many smart, pretty college girls don't go out much because they don't put themselves in a position to get asked out because they are shy or don't like the bar scene and whatnot. Anyways, he figured that at least 1 out of 10 girls would say yes. So he made it a point to ask at least 10 pretty girls out a week. Some were repeat askings, but usually they were just girls that he happened to sit next to in class or notice in the library or whatever. My Dad said he NEVER was not on a date come Saturday night. One of them he asked out he eventually married and now they have 3 kids and have been married for 30 years. Girls are 9 times out of 10 flattered that you would ask them out even if they are not interested or say no, so you are at least brightening their day a little by showing interest. The other 1 out of 10 probably has a bug up her butt, so she doesn't deserve your attention anyways. Also, if you ask her and she says no...still try to be friends with her even a little. If a girl is your friend and she knows you are looking for someone, they ALL switch into set up mode. ALL chicks have friends, roomates, sisters, ect. that are chicks as well. When a girl likes you, "but not that way," they tend to Mother you and set you up. When I was single in College, my roomate and I made friends with every girl in our apartment building. We invited them over for dinner, we watched movies, we'd go to the football games, or baseball games...one of the girls happened to turn out to be my wife....my former roomate is currently dating a girl who was friends with the girl upstairs. My roomate asked her out, but she already had a boyfriend, but she totally mothered him (and me, kinda) and made us cookies, and cooked dinner for us, and she brought over soup when he got a cold, and she introduced him to his current girlfriend. So your steps are to do this: 1. Ask her out on a date. 2. Go out with her if she accepts. 3. If she shoots you down, or even goes out and then shoots you down continue to be her friend. 4. Get dates from her friends that she sets you up with. 5. In the time being, become friends with everybody you possibly can: especially girls, because all girls have girl friends they want to set you up with. 6. Have a blast in college whether you have a girlfriend or are single...do as much as possible that is fun (without failing). Make as many friends as possible, boy or girl. Get involved, go out, have a blast. My fondest memories are of just having all of my friends over to my apartment to shoot the bull, play cards, drink some beer (or soda, whatever), and generally just be with people. There is no better place than college to just immerse yourself in friends. Have fun and don't take dating too serious, because if you do, you'll just stress out about it. If you don't, you'll end up with that special someone and it will just be a even better surprise when you find them.
Most college-aged men are way too sensitive to the slightest fluctuations of women that they like and live and die on every reaction. Also, I think that many college aged women are not aware of how they affect men, and some of them (a really small minority) even get off on the power that they have. My advice (which I would have never have followed when I was in college) is at some point corner her and be as direct as possible, while being as nonthreatening, frendly, and understanding as possible. Next time you hang out together at dinner say something like, "Look, I don't want to get strange, but I would really like to (date you/go out with you/see you/or any other euphamism) and I'm really scared to come out and ask you but I've been getting mixed signals. If you find me repulsive, or whatver, and just want to be platonic friends, or you need to think about it, I'm fine with that but I just need to know where I stand because it's really stressing me out." Really, at that age I was posessed with some sort of incredible dread of rejection that has to be hormonal or something, and clearly dancing around getting shut down was more stressful than getting rejected. Think about it this way, if you go through your entire life, and never once get completely embarased and rejected by somebody you think you'd like, you've shot too low, and you'll spend your dying years as some bitter old man, regreting what could have been.
BTW, gr8-1, you have some serious trust issues with women. There are several good theripists which I could recomend.
Also, from what girls tell me, and from some experience, it is very hard for a girl to say no. So, there's a good chance you'll get a first date if you're very casual. After that, who knows. Just dont' blow it on the first date, like some guys are apt to do. On the flip side, a "yes" to a date doesn't mean she's interested, just that she can't say no. But, get the one date and you'll have a shot.
