Move to the Rocky Mountains. Get some medical weed. Start a new life. Heal your wounds, literally and figuratively. Leave this cruel rat race world behind. It's only going to cause you more suffering.
I went back to school and earned a degree completely unrelated to anything I had done before at age 46. I now work in a field that I love, doing something that I believe is worthwhile. It's not in a cube. You are in the midst of self discovery, and you might find out what you want to do soon, or it might take you 25 years like it took me. I don't regret those 25 years, they were part of the process.
The fact you went back and tried so hard I thought was extremely admirable. Not many people think like that and you are being way too hard on yourself. I get motivational problems sometimes as well, and as moes and others have pointed out....you just have to look forward. If there is any hope of getting to where you want you all you have to do is look forward. Interesting you are an Aussie, I know we have a lot on this board, I dont know how many are currently living in the U.S but they may be able to help you out. I know that IzakDavid and Aussie Rocket are two of them.
As Moe's said, some people start over at a far later age than 25. At 25 you still have a lot left to learn and experience. Everything you know now will seem like nothing when you're 40. You can't change what you can't change. You need to learn to let go of those things as quickly as possible. You're a 25 year old in the world, do something. Find something you love, pursue it. The whole thing with your parents, you don't do things for your parents you do them for yourself. If they can't be proud of you following your passions then that's on them.
I definitely second GanjaRocket, especially if the Nuggets get the 3rd seed. Although, we might have to get 420Rocket's opinion, too. Come to the Rocky Mountains for a Rockets/Nuggets playoff game and some cheeba chews. I'll get the tickets.
Hook a brother up. Ill make the trip for some weed & rockets. I work remotely so I can be there for the entire series.
I have two pieces of advice for you. You need to hear both, and you can't get the second until you hear the first. The first piece of advice is give up, you'll never make it. That's the first part. The second part is don't EVER listen to anyone who ever tells you to give up! --Blaze
Your dad sounds like a real POS. 25 is young, man. You have plenty of time to get it all together. Stay strong and keep your head up even when you you feel like you have no reason to. You might also wanna chill out on the drinking until you regain some confidence.
i'm thirty eight, have been unemployed for two years, unemployment has run out, i am divorced with a child. i have had college degree requiring jobs since 99. i am ready to wait tables and join an apprenticeship plumbing program if accepted. i have diabetes but i don't have physically limiting health issues like yourself. i do have better parental support, sorry your father was such a jerk on a milestone birthday. however, sometimes you just have to roll with the punches
It feels good to read the responses; very encouraging. Man, I'm 20 years old, and I feel like I'm in such a hopeless situation. I graduated from High School with a high rank, but the school was very lax. Texas public high schools, primarily those in low-income areas, emphasize doing well on the state standardized test, TAKS. It's a joke of a test, but because our teachers stressed doing well on these tests so much, that they should've instilled a 'work hard' mentality early, so that we would be prepared for college. Oh well, it's still my responsibility to work hard. I graduated, went to UT. My first year went well, because I was in a freshman interest group, so I was automatically registered for the best classes. The teachers were chill, curved huge. But it all fell down my second year. Enter Organic Chemistry. Enter women. I was not prepared to take these advanced science courses, because the profs from previous year did not teach us well. Pair that with a burned out mentality. I really did feel burned out; like I didn't know how to push myself. I also met a girl who I spent so many hours of the day talking to; we laughed, had same interests, grew very close, and I told her after a few months that I liked her, and (my biggest regret) that she was the one (I was only 18...holy shi). My classes took a hit. I failed. I felt awkward around my friends. Being Indian, my parents are always pressuring me, but I can only reassure them that I want to reach my goal. I want to change the world. Each time, a semester starts, I feel like I'm reinvigorated to change the lifestyle, but for some reason, I relapse. This girl is still around, and it's the toughest thing seeing her all the time. I'm still taking OChem. It's tough, because it stings in the back of my mind of all the regret of my sophomore year. I am now a senior, and there's so much damage. Easily, I could just give up, find the shortcut to succeed. But I think through my spirituality and through the relationships/events in my life, I've learned to have hope. Only through struggle/despair do we learn from our mistakes. Pick your head up. You are 25. You have a passion to serve your country. Preserve that. It's valuable to have hope, because when you do achieve what you've been working so hard for, the victory will be all the more sweeter. The people who laughed at you, thought differently about you, will turn their heads, but F them. Don't worry about them. Take care of your stuff. Now I can't say my experience is line with yours, it's not. But to me, this is my battle, and sure I've taken hits, but I haven't given up, because I have this crazy idea in my head, that I'm meant to change the world in some way. Keep your head up brother. Have hope. Work hard. Meditate. It's your life and your story, so make worth of it. Take opportunities head on. You are in prayer. Thanks CF for the encouragement you guys are giving. It's a good thing to read during stressful times.
To the OP: Drinking away your sorrows is okay, if you still understand that the pain will be there when the liquor is gone. I've got nothing but confidence that you're going to be okay based on that post. You're very aware of your past, your failures, your hopes and dreams. etc...That will make it easier to repair yourself. My advice: Clean yourself up and consider a career change that is comepletely opposite from everything you know. Immerse yourself in school, distract yourself with Rockets basketball, work out each day, sleep and repeat. During the time in my life where I would drink and keep my gun close by just in case, I wish I would have gone outside. A simple walk and sun would have stopped me from wasting time trying to drink the pain away. When I became so involved in my new career, everything else fell into place. I met new people, learned a new way of thinking, created a new daily routine for myself. More than anything, I was SELFISH and focused on myself. It helped. Take some time and DO YOU. Really, make your daily routine simple enough that it's related to finding a new job, getting a little physical activity in, some ESPN and sleeping. Each day, add something small to your routine, as long as it's healthy. Like, start a new book or apply or look for college programs that interest you. Eventually, the routine will feel like clockwork and life will start to settle down. Drink today, but ween yourself off of it. When you're depressed, alcohol just makes it worse and slows you down the folllowing day. Saying some prayers for you buddy.
I didn't get a real job until I was 26. It took me 5 years and 3 major changes to graduate because I was chronically lazy. I later decided my degree's career path wasn't for me so I stopped trying. I don't even use that degree in my references.During that time in between graduation and finally working, I had constant dreams of taking an exam to pass whatever class I had without realizing I had already graduated years ago. I had other personal stuff going on, but I also thought in the back of my mind that I was smart and entitled enough not to start from the bottom like all the other suckers. Fast forward four+ years later and I'm in a job where I get to learn on my own place, travel and get paid to do it. Plus I get recruitment offers from headhunters on a weekly basis. No matter where or when you start, you can always achieve goals if you put your passion and effort into it. You nailed it before when you decided to rejoin the military and kicked ass again. Fate threw you a curveball that was completely out of your control, but that won't be why your drive and future sufers. It's all up in your head. You're the master of your own world. Who gives a **** about your old man's expectations? You can if you want, but if his crappy parenting is preventing you from doing what you want, then use his bull**** to motivate you into something better instead of pulling you back. You're going to meet bullies wherever you go. Maybe it's life practice when you stand up to him by believing in yourself. One thing that plays into most of us is how we measure up to other people's expectations or the "normal" and expected paths in life. It's taken me long enough to realize that there isn't any normal path. We like to beat down others when they deviate from normal, but exceptional people are never normal. They rarely have normal stories or experiences. Normal is safe, and when people fail, we use normal to justify the failures in others in order to resolve the risks we didn't take and feel more justified in our own choices. It's an illusion of control, but in this world sometimes that's all what control is. For me, some people joined IT at much later stages, don't have degrees and/or are self taught. They were able to do it because they could, but also because they wanted to. It didn't matter if they weren't smart enough, didn't come from established institutions or had any pedigree that looked good on paper. If you have the passion, the rest will follow. To have your opportunity taken away from you is pretty ****ty, but it's not the only thing that will define your life if you choose not to let it. Look into the qualities that made you enjoy training and also look back on the things you liked while you were working. If you find something that works for you, then you haven't started from the bottom, even if the job you get is the lowest rank. You would be at a place most people don't even figure out in their 20s. It's going to take time to find that magic job, and sacrifice to work through the growing pains, but you've learned how it feels to quit early and how quitting by running away from a problem instead of running to a solution hurts you in the long run. Those are all life skills of highly successful people. It is really your world. I just lost 15 pounds in two months. I never thought I could do it so fast without doing it unhealthily but now I know I can. We're pretty lucky to live in an age where any kind of information that can influence your life is right at your fingertips. You just have to move them, surround yourself with good supportive people and start climbing up from your bottom.
I went back to uni at 28, after bumming around and trying to 'find myself' (I hate that term) for 10 years after leaving high school. All of my best friends had careers, families, mortgages and other grown up stuff, while I was still not sure what to do. So I took some time 'off', travelled overseas by myself, and realised I really wanted to be a teacher. As soon as I got back, I moved out of home, enrolled in uni, and BAM. I'm 31, in my last year of a 4 year teaching degree, have enough money to eat and pay the bills, and have made some awesome new friends (many of who are girls 10 years younger than me ). Best decision of my life. I have direction and focus, and I'm about to enter into a career that I'm passionate about. Oh, and if you go back to uni, Centrelink will give you money because you'll be classified as a mature aged student. Plus you get $1k every semester for books etc.... Don't diss Australia, we have a pretty good welfare system for those who use it properly.
I cant get the picture of an unshaven moes rolling out of bed at 3pm and staggering to a gas station to buy breakfast in the form of a three day old hot dog rotating under the warming lights of a gas station hot dog device while his bride was at home eating kale chips, masturbating to male on male p*rn and saving the whales. ****ing classic
