It seems as if almost every relationship thread is full of (to an outsider) petty drama. Every one of these threads makes me appreciate my family and friends more and more. I have been married 30+ years and the best advice I can give is to put your wife (partner, significant other) first and foremost in your life. It is also a benefit if your spouse does the same. If you are not prepared to do so, then perhaps the time is not right to be in a serious relationship. For example, you may be doing some innocent 'mackin' to some bangin' hot chick (just establishing some street cred to the younger board members), but if it is something that is bothersome to your relationship, you shouldn't do it. If you can't abide by what your significant other expects then you should not be in a serious relationship. My father passed away on June 5th and the outpouring of support from my friends and family reaffirmed my appreciation for my relationships. I had high school friends that I haven't seen in years show up at the visitation/Rosary just to lend their support and help with the grieving process. The multitude of my father's friends that showed up was overwhelming. Everything I learned about relationships, I learned from the example he and my mother set. No petty arguments, no show of superiority. Simply a loving fondness, respect and appreciation for each other that transcended time.
Cool story bro! . . . . j/k, good to hear a postive note on relationships. I admit, when I first got married, things weren't tip-top. Nothing crazy but wasn't the 'perfectness' I imagined. I was afraid that, from hearing so many stories, it'll get worse and worse as time goes on. Fortunately, the complete opposite has happened. Now any time a pretty face sends a smile or "hi" my way at the mall, school, or watever, I appreciate it with a smile back and keep on my way. I couldn't be happier with the relationship with my wife.
i think that's huge right there...once either person thinks they are superior it's like racism...and nothing good can really come from that...shouldn't be a power struggle. A struggle never results in any balance, when is the last time someone saw two people struggling and neither was moving? doesnt happen, it's constantly back and forth or only moving one way.
Drama are in, no couple want to have a happy boring relationship anymore but they rather have drama in their relationship just like in the movies and tv shows.
I think it's great that you had a solid support system for your tough times. Your parents sound like they had a heck of a relationship. That said, a relationship thread without drama is like starting a thread about car wrecks saying "I drove to work today without incident and arrived promptly. No car wrecks for me." Where is the crash bang boom?
[disclaimer]I am not in a position to give relationship advice[/disclaimer] that being said my dad said it best at he and my mom's 40 year anniversy this past december "i've learned not to argue"
Yes, but how far you let it go out of control is up to the couple. **** will always come up but the way you handle it and move on is what's important imo.
What about in the situation that your parents are against your relationship? Makes things tricky, at least in the beginning...
Personally, I think as people, we're doomed to crumble unless we grow and strengthen our communication. Why? Because cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion between supposed lovers. When it's all said and done, really there's no fault, none to blame. But it doesn't mean you don't desire to point the finger, blame the other, just to watch the temple topple over. Ultimately, you have to bring the pieces back together and rediscover communication. Some way or another, you have to find beauty in the dissonance.
One more thing. This just goes to show that, in the end, all you really have, is respect. They say it shows at your funeral by how many people show up how much of an effect you had on people.
you're probably either truly prepared for marriage, or you're not. that's how i see it. the best marriages i know of are people who settled down in their mid-to-late thirties.
I just lost my father suddenly on June 11th. I know exactly what you are going through. We just laid him to rest yesterday and today we start the process of recovering and moving on. You have my deepest sympathies.
marriage is a lot easier when you respect your wife. it's all about putting her first and foremost like you'd said. i've only been married for a few years, but what a few years it's been. along with giving birth to our beautiful daughter, i've had alcohol and drug problems, and she's stuck by me. i must say that with time, our relationship has grown. definitely more respect on my part.
I generally won't date a girl that my parents wouldn't approve of. Not just because I respect and honor them so much, but because I know they're wiser than I am at these things and they've been very happily married for 32 years. I can only remember seeing my parents fight one time, ever. I pray my marriage turns out to be at least half as good as theirs.
