Did I do the right thing?

Long long long story here, so be patient.

I remember when I was son’s age (7), my own father forcing sports on me, which of course, I was not receptive to at that time. My father was so hard on me about it, I shut sport completely out of my mind and didn’t show any interest in it until I was about 11 or so, when I starting following the Rockets and playing basketball on my own in our driveway. I starting playing on a team in the 7th grade and played through my senior year.

Because of my father, I have been careful not to do the same to my own son, who up until this summer, showed no interest in any type of sports.

When my son turned 7 in August, he asked for his own basketball for his birthday because he wanted to start playing on a goal I had installed in our driveway during the spring. I was very excited about his interest, since of course, basketball is my favorite sport. I started working with him almost everyday on shooting, passing and dribbling (the basics). He took to it all very quickly and before I even realized it, he fell in love with basketball. Since then, he regularly spends 1-2 hours every afternoon/evening (if weather allows), in our driveway practicing. Religiously.

In October, he started to watch the Rocket’s pre-season games with me and like playing, he fell in love with watching. He would watch every minute of every game with me. We started to talk to him about playing in a youth league starting in November. He was very receptive to the idea of course. I looked into a league in Fairfield (near Cypress) that I had heard good things about. I was close to signing him up there when I got an email from the high school coach at this school (he goes to a private Christian school here in Magnolia) who was starting a youth program through the school. The email had little details on the program, other than the fact that any students from 1st to 5th grade could sign up. My hunch said to go with the program in his own school (since he would have the chance to play with more of his friend) so we signed him up.

His first practice was in November, which I attended of course. I immediately had concerns. My first concern was there was a total of about 30 kids there. 30 kids and 1 coach. My second concern was the fact that the coach’s demeanor with them was not what I expected, given the age of the kids that were there. The coach was not a yeller, but extremely unfriendly and certainly, not encouraging. My next set of concerns came within the first 30 minutes of practice. Remember that all I had worked on with my son up until them was some very basic shooting, passing and dribbling drills, which, given his age and experience level, was appropriate. During practice, the coach started doing drills involving the kids dribbling between their legs, doing layups with their offhand (off the correct foot) and doing no-look passes. It was a disaster, and even the older kids were struggling, to say the least (keep in mind that he was doing these drills in one big group). If that was not bad enough, at the end of the 1st practice, he started trying to teach them a 2-3 zone defense. We left that 1st practice, and I made a point to ask my son if he had fun, which he said he did. Because he said he had fun, I dismissed my feeling on the practice, since him having fun was the most important thing for me.

The next several practices were more of the same. Coach would mix in a lesson on backdoor cuts and trapping in the backcourt. All disasters of course. To make matters worse, a disturbing pattern started to develop. When he ran drills, if someone didn’t do it right, they were made to do pushups and run laps Needless to say, all 30 kids, at one point or another, did pushups or laps. What bothered me was that all the kids, not just mind, were being punished because they couldn’t grasp, either mentally, or physically, some of the more complicated drills. I can understand punishment when someone wasn’t listening or was dribbling the ball when the coach told them not to, but I didn’t think it was right to dish out punishment because a younger kid couldn’t understand what he was telling them to do, or just physically couldn’t do it (to me, that is on the coach). This continued for several practices, but I kept asking my son if he was having fun, and he said yes. We kept working and practicing on our own at home, where I tried my best to teach him and help him understand the things the coach couldn’t. I was quite surprised at this level of comprehension, as I was able to get him to understand some of the more complicated things, but not all of them.

I became increasingly worried last week. The parents (and the kids) kept asking the coach when the first game would be and the coach kept saying he would let us know. I went to practice with my son last Thursday and the coach announced that their first game would be the following Saturday. I was a bit surprised, as although the coach had run through a plethora of drills, none of the kids had had a scrimmage of any type. Furthermore, the coach had never spent any time going over the rules of the game, other than explaining traveling. After the coach’s announcement, I went to him and told him I saw that he had a lot of kids (a few had dropped out, but there were still about 25-27 at any given practice) and volunteered to help him (note at some practices (not all) he would have 1 of his high school kids assist him). Coach took me up on my offer and I asked him if he would allow me to work with the younger kids (the reason being was, over the course of the previous 6-8 practices, he would spend most of his time working with the 4th and 5th graders, and spent almost no one-on-one time with the little ones (1st/2nd graders). I had a blast working with the little ones, and I think they enjoyed it too (especially my son of course). We did get to scrimmage, but only spent 10 minutes doing so. After practice/scrimmage was over, I realized that their 1st game was going to be a disaster (which is ok, hey its their 1st game). The coach stated the 1st game was going to be the 1st graders (there were 6 of them) against the 2nd/3rd graders (there were 7). I was almost mad about this. You wouldn’t think there would be a huge difference between 1st , 2nd and 3rd graders, but there is. Not size-wise, but skill/aggressiveness wise.

Saturday hits and the game is about to start. 2 10 minute halves. The ref has to explain the “jump ball” because coach has failed to do so. The ref also has to explain the rules as the game goes on, because again, coach spent no time on the rules other than traveling. The game was a disaster. 28-0, 2nd/3rd graders beat the 1st graders. The game consisted of the 2nd/3rd graders scoring, the 1st graders inbounding the ball, getting quadruple teamed by the older team and of course, losing the ball and the older team scoring a layup. I think the older team got off about 10 shots a minute, while my son’s team got off about 2-3 shots the whole game. By the end of the game, the little guys (1st graders) were not having fun. In the last minute, my son got the ball (I think for the 1st time) and promptly had all 5 defenders run over him, stealing the ball and busting his nose in the process (who knew there is that much blood in a human nose!). My son was ok, but was upset that he got smacked in the face by 2 or 3 kids. Of course, I told my son that sometimes injuries happen, but deep down inside, I felt this one shouldn’t have.

Monday’s practice was cancelled, which was not surprising. During the course of the season, coach has consistently cancelled practices, rescheduled them for a difference time, different location, etc. I told my son about the cancellation, and he made a remark that concerned me. He said he was glad, even though he insisted he has had fun in practices and even in the game.

Tonight’s practice was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Instead of the usual 25-27 kids, there were close to 30. I didn’t not volunteer to help like last week, as I think I had made it clear to coach last practice that if he needed help I was happy to assist and that all he had to do was ask (i.e I didn't feel the need to "volunteer" every time I was there). He didn’t ask me to help tonight, which I was fine with. I was not fine when he put my 4’3’’, 62 lb, 1st grade son in a drill with a 5’2’’, 100 lb, 4th grade girl. The drill consisted of him attempting to pass around or over this girl to one of his teammates. This girl is one of the more aggressive kids there, and she has obviously been playing for at least 2 years, so he had quite a bit of trouble getting his pass off without her stealing it. Instead of coach helping my son, he made him go do pushups. It took every bit of restraint on my part (and my wife’s) to not grab the coach and lecture him about embarrassing and punishing my son for putting him in a drill that was a complete mismatch. I let practice continue. After that was over (25 mins into a 2 hour practice), as usual, he picked the older kids out and worked with them and sent the 1st graders off to work with one of his high school players. Don’t get me wrong; the kid is nice and had some skills, but he had no clue how to teach. The coach didn’t interact with any of the little ones the rest of practice, and more importantly, they didn’t scrimmage for even 1 minute. After practice, he announced that Saturday’s game was going to be at another location, about 30 mins away, which pissed me off as he had told us before the season that all the games would be at his school. Furthermore, he announced that he was mixing the teams up and was going to put the little ones on teams with the older kids. I had had it at this point, but didn’t say anything as I wanted to sleep on it to see if I should pull my son out and try another league next year or to stick with it and see if it gets better.

After practice, on the way home, my son, without any prompting, started to cry and said he had a horrible time at practice and wasn’t having fun. He also admitted that he didn’t have fun at the game because all the older kids were just pushing him over and taking the ball whenever he touched it. My son knew we paid $150 for him to be in this league and offered to give us all of his allowance that he had been saving (up to about $85) if he didn’t have to go anymore (this made my wife cry). He pointed out that he was upset that he was having to play with kids that were 2-3 years older than him and that coach was not spending any time with him or the other little ones. I told my son that the most important thing for his mom and I, as far as sports go, was for him to learn and have fun and that if he was not having fun, I didn’t want him to feel he had to go, despite the money we paid. He confirmed he was not having fun and didn’t not want to go anymore, so we said fine. We asked him why he told us he was having fun when he wasn’t and he said he was afraid if he said no, that I wouldn’t play basketball with him at home anymore (broke my heart hearing him say that).

I don’t want to teach him or encourage him to quit, but I also feel this league was not designed to 1) Help him, at all, improve at basketball or 2) be fun. I told him that this was not his fault and that his mom and I were to blame since we did not take time to research this league to see if it would be right for him. He asked me if I would still play with him at home and if he could still watch the Rockets, and of course, I said absolutely. He just went to bed happy.

Nevertheless, I sit here feeling like **** over letting him quit. However, I would be devastated if he were to have stayed in the league, and ended up hating basketball.

Did I do the right thing?

 

Nope. Most start in the fall (October/November).

 

Oh, one other thing. We paid our fees at the end of October. The fees included their jerseys. When the 1st game came down last weekend, only 2/3rd of the kids had their jerseys (of course, all the older ones had theirs). My son was lucky to get his (he picked #11 because he loves Yao Ming even though he has never seen him play). I think that is ****ed up. Coach was paid 13 weeks ago and didn't have everyone's jerseys. And a few of those that did, they were not the right size. One of the older girls, who is "husky", and who you can tell his very self conscious about her size, ended up with a jersey that was skin tight. She asked coach if he would get her another one, and he said no. Her parents ended up buying her a generic jersey from Academy and taped her # on.

 

It's funny. He kept asking me tonight he would still be able to play for the Rockets one day if he quit this league.

I'll be blunt honest. My son has not one athletic bone in his body. However, for only playing for 4-5 months, he has some skill. He can dribble well. His passing (overhead, chest, bounce and baseball) is amazing. He can regularly hit bank shots from either side (5 ft' in of course). And of course, he hustles (but he's hardly quick or fast). He practices on his own without any pushing from either of us. He loves to play! Santa brought him a basketball with hand prints on it that helps him remember where his hands should be on the ball when he shoots. It is amazing how much that has helped him. Unfortunately, he likes to jack it up from 20' instead of shooting close in. Despite his lack of athletic prowess, I am proud to say, unbiased, that he his quite a shooter from 7' in. Doctor says he should be 6'3'' maybe. If we can get a few more inches on him, he may be the next Scott Padgett.

Oh, and he is the only kid out of the 30 that regularly does his layups off the right foot.

 

Here is the last messed up thing:

Up front, the coach told us that they would play on 8'6'' goals. So of course, our goal at home is that height.

Every practice, every single one, they practice on 10'. Half the kids (especially the little ones), can't even hit the rim during practice.

****ed up I tell you.