Thanks Invincible Fan and everyone else for all your extremely helpful advice. I am sorry for not using paragraphs. I just got into the heat of the moment writing about the situation. Things got much worse between me, my X and her husband after the breakup. What I was sooo angry at was that she didnt tell me she was planning on Marrying her Best Friend when we met up on June and she broke up with me. Its like everything was a set up, she knew she was going to brake up with me and had a plan B on getting her Green Card. Well, basically after our I found out, I met up with her husband in August to speak with him face to face about what happened. He kept contradicting himself and saying things that didnt make sense. He allowed me to see my X after our conversation for like 2 mins and as I was walking towards her, she was holding her tears like crazy and her mouth was stuttering. Just by looking at her reactions, I thought she still has feelings for me or she is just really embarrassed at what she degraded herself down to do through desperate measures. We had soo much Chemistry, Compatability and Comfort with each other over the course of 8 1/2 years. Well, her husband called my parents and started getting them involved so I retaliated by going on facebook and telling couple of her close friends about her marriage between her and her best guy friend. I emailed them the link where all you have to do is type in her last name and it will pull up. Things went back and forth and she went to New York to visit her cousins for Labor Day weekend and she had somone take a picture of her and her girl cousin hugging each other at Serendepity with my X holding her left hand ring fingers up by her face showing her Fake wedding band ring for her green card and sending it to one of my best friends that the cousin that she was in the pic with was dating my close friend to make sure it got to me. So, I retaliated again by going on facebook and putting her dirty laundry out using first, middle and last names telling them about her non US Citizenship, vision problems, and about her parents trying to bribe me. I feel sooo bad bc that is not the type of person that I am. I gave my X a promise ring when I asked her "Offically" to be my girlfriends 8 1/2 years ago, and she would always wear it on her Right hand ring finger, so seeing a real one on her opposite hand made me go delusional. I ended up taking down the facebook status and wrote a sincere apology. Things just kept escalating and now there is nothing left. She blocked any incoming text messages from me, deleted me from facebook and blocked me bc when I first found out about their court marriage, I sent her a billion texts accusing her of prostituting herself for a damn green card, and some other pretty hurtful but true things. So, now she seems to be going out alot and partying it up. She seems to be moving on just fine, but I cant even pick myself out of bed. I even still have dreams of her and her family. I had such a great relationship with her parents and entire family. And now there is nothing. I also dont know if I will ever find a girl that can have what me and my X had. We truly were perfect for each other. Her husband told me in August that no INS investigators were after her or anything, she was just tired of waiting. But, I truly believe something drastic happened to make her do this.
This, the 1st response of the thread is a good summary of advice....I dont talk about it much, but my dad died several months...same thing I live far away from all my family and most my friends, wish I could see my mother more... My advice, dont just treat the loss like its a mental temporary "condition" that you can just get over easily. As in, just cuz you're happy one day means "its gone". You can out-ego it. If you feel to cry, CRY. Dont hold back, dont suppress. Just like broken bones and flesh wounds, Deaths are WOUNDS. Though as they say, time heals all wounds. And its very true. It'll take a while but trust me you'll get over it by staying busy and constructive. The mental, physical and emotional strength and resistance will come. And keep out that blasted negativity. After my dad died, I've actually mended bridges with terds I've had long time disagreements with. Some offered up sympathy out their own initiative without me approaching them first. (I can see will, property and estate issues leading to disputes but that didnt happen here). So your ex seeing you as "Guy that didnt marry me" instead of "recently broken up long time ex who suffered a sad loss" is pretty darn shallow. Some people arent good with calling back. But she can easily send back an email. In that email she can definitely hint to you she's seeing someone else if she is. Even if she's not seeing someone else, she's still not freeing herself up for WIFE LIKE support! If she wanted you for a husband, she'd be there in a bigger capacity. She being hurt, HER pain? PLEASE. She's treating it as though someone in her family just... Yeah another thing, learn to laugh. Life's too short to be constantly involved in torment.
