Boy do I miss Aubrey Huff

Does he ever make for good radio.

http://sports.aol.com/fanhouse/2007...bably-wont-be-doing-radio-again-anytime-soon/

Aubrey Huff Probably Won't Be Doing Radio Again Anytime Soon

In fact, I'm guessing Aubrey Huff won't be talking to any kind of media outlet without a Orioles media guy standing at his side.

As you've probably heard by now, Huff has been roasted in the local Baltimore press for calling the city a "horses--t" town during a recent appearance on XM Sirius Radio's Bubba the Love Sponge show. He tried to explain it by saying he was merely referring to the town's nightlife compared to Tampa, but that excuse wasn't good enough for a lot of people.

As it turns, though, poking fun at B-more's non-existent nightlife was about the least shocking thing he's said. Patrick Smith of Bugs and Cranks directs us to the full transcript of the radio appearance, courtesy of the Baltimore sports talk radio station WNST (part 1 and part 2). In addition to quite possibly being drunk on the air ...

Huff: "Vodka and red bull. Vodka and cranberry. No, no. Make it vodka and red bull! Make it happen! Half and half!"
Bubba: "Looks like I'm driving Aubrey home!
Huff: "I'll get the wife to pick me up. The wife will pick me up!"

... Huff was also quite candid about his sex life, which you can read about after the jump. (Be warned, though, it's a bit explicit. I don't think it's entirely NSFW, but it's probably not the type of thing you want a co-worker reading over your shoulder, either.)
Producer: "...Who in here knows exactly how many women they've slept with?
Bubba: "Aubrey!"
Aubrey: "I couldn't even begin to tell ya. I couldn't even give ya a ballpark. I know I'm over..."
Bubba: "Five hundred?"
Aubrey: "No, no! I'd say between 2 and 300.

It's not quite Wilt Chamberlain's 20 grand, but still, I doubt that tidbit makes it's way into the Orioles media guide next year. Of course, he probably won't catch Wilt the Stilt now that he's married -- as he was all too happy to share, he simply takes care of himself these days, if you catch my drift.

Bubba: "Now Aubrey, do you jack off a lot on the road, like when you're not with your wife."
Huff: "It's all I do. It's all I do. You guys have no idea how much downtime there is in baseball. You wake up from a hangover about 1 o'clock."
Producer shouts: "In the afternoon?"
Huff: "Oh, yeah! Lemme tell you this. When you are hung over, how horny are you? I'm horny, when I'm hungover, I'm horny. So I'm just gonna beat off. And that's all I do."

So, there you go. Because I'm sure this is the type of thing you wanted to hear about. Is any of this offensive? Perhaps to some, although anyone listening to the Bubba the Love Sponge show certainly knows what to expect.

But still, the Orioles can't be too pleased that this is the image he's projecting: drunk, sex-starved millionaires with nothing to do but satisfy themselves for hours before a game. Couldn't that time be used for, I don't know, preparing for the game? Perhaps, but Huff doesn't see the value in that:

Producer: "Do you guys do any studying or is there any of that going on? Or is the catcher the only one that's really gotta study anything?
Huff: "The guys that are studying -- it's bull****. See ball, hit ball. You know what I mean? You've done it your whole life. You see the ball, you hit it. All this studying? Honestly, you're gonna look at a piece of, a TV? And say this guy, this guy is going to throw me this way? No, he might throw you a different way! Who cares? Just see it and hit it!

For a guy who's only 30 years old but has been in a steady decline for four years, that's probably not the type of thing you want to admit on the air. Maybe waking up hungover and refusing to watch video is why he hit just 15 home runs, or less than half of what he managed in his first full big-league season.