My ex-girlfriend broke up with me around 4 months ago. We are both around 28 years old, things weren't going so great and we were arguing a lot. She was the first girl that I ever loved, so at first it was pretty rough. Quite a few bottles of beer and rebound dates later, I think I've gotten over her but there are still days when I really miss and think about her. I'm dating a new girl now and so far things are going great. However, I still want to be regular friends with my ex if thats possible. I don't know if its because deep down I want to get back with my ex. I just know that I don't want her out of my life. We haven't talked since early October. I pleaded with her to give me another chance and she basically told me to move on and stopped responding to my calls/emails. I wrote her some poetry and mailed it to her, but she didn't acknowledge it. My birthday recently passed and she didn't bother to call. Some time has passed since we last spoke... should I pick up the phone and try to reach out to her?
I think you should move on. Seems like she already has. If you become friends with her, you'll develop feelings for her again and she might not feel the same. I'm no Doctor Phil but it would only open deeper wounds.
considering how ugly that exchange at the end must have been, it looks (from an outsider's view) like the death sentence for that relationship. It's hard, if not impossible, to recover from that type of stuff. But you know the type of relationship you two were in and the way you interacted better than anyone here so it's impossible to give a 100% correct answer. I would venture to say that "you're screwed" because I'm not sure you're actually over her (which is a recipe for disaster) and that an ugly ending like that rarely ever heals itself to the point you can develop a good friendship. But that's my two cents.
You do not sound like somebody who wants to be "friends" with his ex. Mailing her poetry that she didn't respond to? She has cut off all communication? From your short description sounds like you just want her to acknowledge you, which would make you feel better about yourself. Take her advice and move on.
I think I have moved on. I'm dating a new girl now that I really like and who really likes me. However, I guess I want to bake and eat my cake too because I don't want my ex girlfriend out of my life forever. It feels like someone I was close with died if I never talk to her again.
it's hardly a good idea, but i am good friends with my first ever g/f from 11 years ago. it's been a strange relationship with her. went from dating, to not talking for 2 years, became friends when i ran into her during college. we started talking about getting together but it never happened. since then, we've kept in touch. she lives in Dallas with her fiance but whenever they're in town, we go out to have dinner together. as a matter of fact, we had dinner last night with her cousins. and she's the only ex i've kept up with.
Another vote for moving on. You're getting consumed by this, not healthy. Let time pass and see if she contacts you instead, it will mean she is being receptive again and removed the mental block on you. Otherwise constantly contacting her without her responding is a big red light.
It can be done and is worth it HOWEVER You nor her need to have ANY Unresolved issues Me and my Ex are friends. . but I HAVE NO DESIRE TO BE WITH HER AGAIN and Vice Versa I mean . .we good friends. . . horrible MORE THAN FRIENDS Rocket River
Simple answer to question in title- No not a good idea After reading your story, Definitely move on.. Now is not the time and there's no guarantee there is ever a time. you should just forget about it and never look back.. Only IF she reaches out to you repeatedly and genuinely wants to be in your life, should you THINK about it. Even then the right answer still might be to forget about her and move on.
We can keep telling each other that you should move on, blah blah blah. But we're failing to understand how hard it actually is to move on. Yes, rm365 can come out and say okay, I'm moving on, but its not that easy. I know people who have been in situations like this before, and it takes months, if not years, to get those feelings out of the system. Not calling her or stalking her or asking friends about her would be a good start. Get deep in your current relationship, and things will work themselves out for the best. That way when you do see this girl a few years down the road, all those feelings will be burnt and never rekindled.
Agreed. It doesn't sound as though she's interested in continuing a relationship of any kind with you. Its possible she might've considered a friendship had you respected her decision post breakup and continued to pursue her. In your shoes, I'd cut my losses and move on; however, if you wish to pursue a friendship, I'd first assess your situation and make absolutely sure a friendship is what you really want. I'd hold off a couple of months at least before sending a casual email. Move slow and prepare yourself for the possibility she's not interested. Do not pursue the friendship under false pretenses.
If you're writing her poetry and bothered that she didn't call for your birthday, you obviously want to be more than friends. So, no, it's not a good idea to try to stay friends with her at this point.
true...but once you hit it a couple of times, you're back in the relationship, or something similar, meaning no other time for other chicas...
If both of you were that serious, 4 months is not that long. She wants more time between you before even thinking about being just friends. If other women don't suit you, buy use some of that money you used to spend on women and just enjoy the time you have for yourself.
I don't know about your situation, but my ex wife and I are very close. Now, she's like my sister. I consider her family. But, it definitely takes two to be able to do that and we're both mature enough and care about each other's happiness enough to make it work. And, it is EXTREMELY important that you both have moved on with your lives and have no desire to re-kindle any relationship. Otherwise, it won't work.
This is a really bad idea. You should move on. You're better off without her. unless you think you can swing a threesome...
