So nowadays it seems that being a gentleman, having chivalry, or being polite in general leads to automatic friendzoning on such persons. I just do not understand why. My parents brought me up with manners such as opening doors for people, saying yes ma'am/sir no ma'am/sir, thank you, etc. But in today's norm you get sh**ted on (perhaps this is in every era/decade/haydays and I am just to young to know) for doing such things. Is it true that Nice guys finish last? Is that really a bad thing as long as you finish? Is this really a race, or are we all just trying to accomplish a goal in the end? I mean what is a person to do here, stay strong with their morals and hope things get better, or become the ******* and benefit short term (I feel like if I became an ******* I'd start to hate myself). Anyways, I'm just kind of venting, and wanting to see everyone else's opinion
You can be a good person and finish first. It just takes a lot more effort/skill (think of the part from Schindler's list where the Nazi commandant tries to "forgive" the Jewish boy). Know the difference between kindness and weakness and you should be okay. And be handsome.
Being a gentlemen isn't what sends you to friendzone - refusing to make your intentions known is what does that.
How old are you? That part's important. If you're under 30, swing away my brother. Hit everything that you find attractive.
is your goal to get laid or have a meaningful relationship. There are two entirely different strategies. If you want to get laid, be cocky, and look for insecure girls who will respond to your faux confidence and teasing and you can probably bag them. If you want something meaningful - just be genuine...unless you are a sappy whiny needy douche-bag in which case you are better off just taking the first route. Secure women can smell your issues a mile away no matter how you act.
Your parents raised you the wrong way. It's fine to have manners and to be polite, but in this world, the Sharks are the one who make it to the top in life and business and in relationships. And if you are talking about women, being a gentlemen doesn't create attraction. For a woman, attraction isn't a choice. She doesn't have any control over who she is or is not attracted to. The ladder theory determines who she is attracted to. She TALKS about wanting a gentlemen, it SOUNDS GOOD, but it simply just doesn't create attraction. You will finish last bro.
I hope this is within the bounds of board etiquette but women and gay men get along because they both like the same thing, dicks.
If this were posted in the hangout, it'd be on page 3 by now, lol. It was posted here, and therefore, it will get a serious reaction, I think, which may be a good thing.
This has been true for me. I've friendzoned myself twice while pursuing girls, and both times I lamented my awful fate as a "nice guy". The truth was, however, that both girls had huge crushes on me and were waiting for me to indicate any sort of interest beyond friendship. One of them was even left wondering if I was gay (for that reason alone). Anyway, I lucked out both times and the girl took the initiative, made the bold step and more or less asked me out. I'm not counting on that sort of thing happening again...
Ah, I get it. I'm a big supporter of the space program, although I look at outer space as "less boring, more dead."
Girls generally know if they are "in" to you very quickly. After that it's just your job to figure it out. If you prefer to take the gentlemen route you'll just find out that assholes and attention whores tend to have more success because they consciously force themselves on everyone.
