Okay guys, so as an Arab Muslim, arranged marriage is kind of a normal thing in my culture. This could be an arranged marriage where I am set to marry a long time family friend's daughter who I have never met, or might have known all my life. It could also mean marrying my first cousin who lives 1,000s of miles away in which I bring her to the states and have as my personal maid, housekeeper, nurse, cook, wife, etc. I am half arab, half filipino (weird I know) and I have reached the "tender" age of 23. my hormones are telling me now more than ever to get the deed done. However my Americanized culture is telling me to find the right girl through everyday interaction (school, work, going out, dumb luck, craigslist???). If I really wanted to get married, I am sure I would have no problem getting a cousin from over seas. However being raised here in the states, I feel weird about that kind of thing. I guess my underlying reason for this thread is to: 1. get your opinion on whether or not arranged marriage is something that would be socially acceptable in the states 2. Marrying my cousin if being arranged could be socially acceptable in the states. Culture vs Roots at its finest (sorta).
1. It's not necessarily "socially acceptable", but it's not a new concept to most Americans. By this, I mean many have heard of it, understand it, and won't freak out when they have you explain to them what happened. But if you're talking about not being judged or at least somewhat ridiculed, I have no guarantees. I can promise you that at least once in your first few years, someone is going to just completely question your decision. But in the end, it's your choice. 2. Marrying your cousin is not socially acceptable in the states, anywhere, as far as I know. But meh, it's all up to you dude. In my opinion, marry a person you want to spend the rest of your life with; don't marry your culture.
Don't marry anyone you consider close enough to refer to as your cousin. Arranged or not, give yourself three years and move in with them for a year before you decide to marry.
This thread should be a blast. Of course it wouldn't be smiled upon or looked at as normal. It's not up to me or anyone responding to tell you what to do. Do what your heart tells you. Also remember that incest may come with children who will have genetic defects.
Test the waters and find out what is compatible with you. If you want to marry your cousin, move to Dallas.
if you're going to have an arranged marriage i suggest it not be a relative. go with the family friend's daughter if you really think an arranged marriage is for you
At least try living with her for a while, I mean damn. Total stranger? What are the chances that you'll click? Someone do the math.
I'm 23. I know some of my friends from high school have went and gotten married, but I can't fathom doing it myself at all. Arranged marriage is also a part of Japanese culture, but I know I'll never have to deal with it due to the fact that my mother and the rest of her family who live in Japan do not get along at all. But I do think that the stigma against arranged marriages is somewhat unfortunate - I remember reading that divorce rates for arranged marriages were actually lower precisely because they are generally made for something more material as opposed to something like love which is fairly intangible. Marrying a cousin on the other hand, is just.........blech.
Only 23? You're pretty young for someone who proclaimed himself an extreme Japanese right wing member and proudly uses "we" to refer the Japanese government of the WW2 era.
I don't understand what other reason there could be? I have no desire to get married until I'm closer to 30, but why else would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone?
1. I don't think it's an issue. Some of my friends has arranged marriages. 2. Marrying your first cousin is illegal in Texas.
Come on akhi, you know this isn't acceptable in Islam. As a fellow Muslim, here's what i say. Why not just ask around your friends,family, local masjid's Imam if they know of someone else who is interested in marriage? Who says it has to be a cousin from overseas?
And I'm someone who argued that even if the Americans used the atom bomb for no other reason than to scare the Soviets, that's fine. So take your caricatures out. Raising children? Improving your family ( and by that I don't mean your immeadiate one, I mean the family name). While I'm merely speculating, I do think part of it could be that the expectations are lower in an arranged marriage, which means that the two sides will be willing to put up with more. It's sort of like the "That guy's my best friend, but there is no way I would ever consider rooming with him" thing.
To elaborate on this, I know it's tough living in the west, and I am not saying I'm free from this, but we shouldn't be interacting with non-mehrams, especially through craigslist. your 23, nothing wrong with getting married at your age. I say it's better to marry family friend.
If you post a friends number under man seeking man sex no strings attached... Funny things happen. A midget was sending naked pictures to one of friends saying let me be your rag doll.
So true.. I'm sure Kojirou sees nothing wrong with displaying the Japanese Imperial Flag either. Or saying "we" infront of other Asians. Might as well wear a KKK hood infront of blacks or Swastika infront of Jews.
