my story involves alcohol and driving. So as not to encourage the youngsters amongst us, I'll leave out the gritty details. Lets just say it was the scariest brush with the law one can imagine!
Actually I think Ive lucked out only once. I was 22 and I was on the way home from work. I had a hot date with a VERY HOT girl that was very pretty, yet, very organized (i.e. was never late, never early, always right on time and expected the same from anyone she dated) . So anyway, Im speeding cause I had to clean my place up just in case ....well ya know. So I get pulled over and the office had clocked me going 85 on the Beltway. The officer of course asks me, "Wheres the fire?". I wanted to say "in my pants" but I digressed. I simply told him "officer, i have a date tonight with a girl that i really like and who i am really trying to impress. If im late, I will lose big time points with her so Im rushing to get home so Im not late picking her up". He wrote me a VERY quick warning and sent me on my way. That day, I found out honesty is really the best policy sometimes.
The only time I've ever been pulled over, the cop was the biggest **** face in the world. I tried so hard to be polite, I think I said "yes sir" 50 times and he still writes me a $101 ticket claiming there was a car too close to me when I turned left into a parking lot! And then he said I was lucky he didn't write me another ticket for not having the right address on my drivers license. Next time I will know to NOT be honest when the cop asks me if I have the right address on my DL. RE toll booths. I had this happen to me one time, and I pulled up to the booth and asked the lady if there was anyway I could turn around and go back into town and find an ATM (the exit back into town was literally about 100 yards away), and she goes "no sir, you need to pull over while I call a highway patrolman, this is a $295 fine." She wouldn't let me write a check or anything. So I pull over and frantically try to scrounge up some change from the pockets of my dirty clothes in the back seat and in the trunk. So I find this big pile of pennies. I end up finding $1.25 in f*cking pennies, so I have to walk up to the toll booth as this long line forms behind me and dump out this big bunch of pennies. AND THE LADY WANTS TO SET THERE AND COUNT EVERY FREAKING ONE OF THEM. So i have to stand there while all these people in their cars are getting pissed off at me and my pennies. Eventually the lady goes "well, let me call the highway patrol and see if I can let you go." So she calls and finally lets me go on my way. Talk about embarrassing.
Five lines to get you out of a ticket. 1. I cast for the TV show "COPS" 2. Meet my girlfriend, she loves men in uniform. 3. I know it smells like weed in here...want some? 4. I'm headed to a bachelor's party, the strippers are there and I've gotta let them in. 5. I just s**t my pants.
i got out of a ticket a few months ago by telling the cop i needed to take a piss really badly. he caught me for speeding to catch a yellow light to enter my apartment complex. thank goodness he was sympathetic! doesn't just work for girls!
Once when I was 18 or 19 I was out with a buddy. This was prior to the open container law but it didn't matter since I was under 21. Anyways, I was pretty lit up and my buddy had a hot rod mustang. Well he was burning tires every 5 minutes and a damn cop pulled us over. Well during the pullover I toss my "container" out the window and stuff another "container" under the seat, which proceeds to spill everywhere. Well this cop saw me toss the item and asked me to step out of the vehicle. He asked me what I threw, I said a Coke can. He knew I was lying and threw me on the hood, again I was asked what I threw, I said a beer can. After a few minutes, which are blurry, the cop writes me a littering ticket and doesn't write my buddy squat. I don't know how I got out of that with a littering ticket... After changing my underwear I vowed to never do something that crazy again.
As a teen I got caught throwing eggs at cars on Halloween night. The cops had me follow them downtown and had me hangout for awhile just to scare me. It worked.
I've been pulled over twice. Once for rolling through a stop sign (eight thirty Saturday morning, many years ago) and, more recently (last week), for speeding. I guess I exude that youthful, clean-cut, can't-do-anything-wrong white boy aura because both times the cops let me go without even a warning. This last time the cop starts asking me, "Have you been drinking this evening?" and things like that; he started laughing when I said, "Not at all," maybe by the tone of my voice? Who knows. (When he asked me if I'd been drinking, I knew I was off the hook. Cops aren't supposed to ask the question like that straight out, unless the law has changed.) 34 years old and no tickets yet. Knock on wood.
I get pulled over on the way to Vermont to go skiing about 8 years ago. I had to be going 85 or 90. I'm thinking this guy is going to clip my license in half and basically throw the book at me. He gets up to my window, asks for my DL, regis and ins card...and then says "You are lucky I am having stomach problems today pal" and runs back to his car and pulls away.
That's not how it works here. I have actually gotten a letter from the Tollway Violations Authority before, and they just bill you for the tolls, and then add a 25 dollar admin. fee to it. I've done this with some frequency, and have only gotten one letter. I am way ahead of the system so far.
