I've been with my wife for almost 12 years. Married for 8 with two little kids. Going to marriage counseling today to address some "issues" that we haven't seemed capable of resolving ourselves in an attempt to save our marriage. Initially I wanted to work things out for the kids primarily, but I've also come to the conclusion that I'm not really interested in hitting the dating scene all over again even though it would give me a golden opportunity to date some hot younger chicks. :grin: I'd rather try to work this out if possible so I'm going to do everything I can and let the chips fall where they may. At the end of the day, I want to be able to sleep at night knowing that I didn't just give up. I've never been to counseling before. I've never really believed in sitting around telling all of my problems to a complete stranger and waiting for them to give me their opinion. In fact, going to counseling freaks me out as much as going to the doctor or stopping to ask for directions. What should I expect?
Counseling can work as long as both parties are willing. Sometimes just airing out some differences with a non partisan 3rd party can really help situations.
I don't have any insight on counseling but I hope it works out for the best. I'm not married (engaged), but a while back my fiancee picked up this book. I picked it up and skimmed through it thinking it was going to be some obvious, impractical BS put together to sell copies, but it actually made a lot of sense and was very concise. You and your wife might try it -- I think it's actually targeted toward couples who are having marital problems.
Couples counseling is about you trying to understand a different perspective, not necessarily trying to make them understand yours. As long as both of you have that in mind, there is definitely hope for progress. I would say, though, don't go in expecting to change her mind or get a "judges ruling" on your issues.
Yup, as long as you are both down with getting help. I did counseling with my ex who had no real desire to save the relationship, so it was just a waste of time and money, even though hearing the therapist take my side was pretty sweet.
My wife and I did premarital counseling (only been married 4 months). Maybe not the exact thing as what you're looking for, but I'm glad we did.
I had a counselor once. Always listened to my problems, never really helped. Would listen with my wife and I argue but not really do anything. Charged out the ass too... so much money wasted. Later he said he was gonna leave town and start a TV show based on his experiences with me. So I chased him down and made sure he would never make it out alive. Stole his car afterwards too. Was one of the most gratifying missions in GTAV.
I've been to a Marriage Counselor... to record video for him. :grin: Dude. Just admit your faults and fix them. Put your wife and kids BEFORE YOURSELF and you'll be gold. Done.
I've never been to marriage counseling, although my wife and I sure could of used it early on in our marriage! I'm glad to hear that you just don't want to give up, that means a lot in determining whether your marriage is going to succeed. Just about anything can be resolved if both of you are willing to meet somewhere in the middle, this isn't just what's best for you, but what's best for everybody, including your kids! Remember whatever has changed in your marriage to get you where you're at now, can be changed back! You have my best wishes for you and your family! ....... ....... .......
Marriage counseling can work even if the marriage still ends. Going to counseling can help both you and your wife deal with issues you have in handling problems. That can indeed help to fix the problems you're having. But opening up communication and learning for both of you to effectively express the issues you have might end up bring up new problems of which you weren't aware. If that does happen, just take what you learned and know that you will be better prepared and able to handle the next relationship. Either way it seems like the process can help you and your wife.
1. Don't go to a marriage counselor that views divorce as an option. 2. Don't waste your money on any counselor if your wife isn't interested. 3. Don't waste your money on any counselor that doesn't believe the man should be dominant and the wife should be submissive. You'll just be miserable trying to twist yourself into this gender-sensitive neutered man pretzel that at the end of the day your wife will hate anyways if she is a real woman. Because real women want real men. 4. You are best off spending money on a marriage or life coach that will listen and diagnose you and give each of you a course of actions to take and then track your progress and hold both of you accountable to the prescribed coaching course as opposed to throwing money at a pair of ears that want to simply prompt both of you to talk talk talk talk and argue argue argue while collecting their fees week in and week out. You don't talk your way out of marriage problems. You work your way out of marriage problems by changing your behavior and making yourself into a better man/woman.
