...my (ex-) girlfriend is on a date tonight. We've been on and off for the last few months. I flew from NYC to Austin last month to tell her I love her and I want to marry her. She said wants the same but feels she needs a little time to sort everything out. We talked on Saturday and said she desperately is searching for a road to lead to us, but struggling to find it. We've talked and texted every night for the last month with "I love you" and "I miss you." I just learned from my best friend she's going on a date tonight with a guy that she saw a few times before I visited her in Austin. She's meeting his family tonight... My heart is breaking.
Get over her. She obviously doesn't know what she wants. Gotta beware of women like that. Give it time, it's the only thing that can heal you.
Why is she meeting his family if she loves you? There's a fine line between women who don't know what they want and women who play games..
Nothing anyone can say will make the pain go away quickly. It should hurt for a while. But understand you will recover and look back on this as a learning experience. You haven't really lived until your heart has been broken. This won't mean much now but it's good you didn't have to break off an engagement or, much worse, get a divorce. Be thankful for that at least.
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With your moniker, should he really listen to you? ;-)- Seriously, OP, I think you must consider moving on with your life. It appears that she is trying to do just that, while attempting to deal with a load of guilt she's carrying because she may have led you on for the 4 years mentioned in the thread title. It hurts, but continuing to cling to someone who is doing what she seems to be doing (based on your OP) will hurt you far worse in the long run. And don't spend too much time kicking yourself for believing in her. We've all been there in one degree or another. Maybe not for 4 years, but in love, sometimes 4 months can feel like 4 years. Good luck, and good hunting.
Sucks bro, sorry to hear that. Sounds like it's been long distance for the past few months, right? She just wanted the security of having you around while looking for something else. Sucks to say, but I'm sure she's been on plenty of dates while you were in NYC... Just curious, how does your best friend know so much?
Damn you flew from NY to Austin to tell her I love you? That's some real ****...and let her date and be cool with it, that's your only chance. She might and has the right to be unsure still. Just be patient if its worth it. But also don't lie to yourself. Deep down, you know if you have a legit shot or not. Be a man, follow your gut, and act accordingly....
After 4 years, be patient? And she's meeting this guy's family? He's been far too patient as it is, IMO.
She says she wants to marry you and tells you that she loves you and misses you, but instead meets other guys? You're too good for her.
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Oh BTW, most importantly, it's time to make yourself scarce. Cut off all contact with her. She doesn't get to have her security blanket and date other guys at the same time. See how she responds after a few weeks of this treatment.
Yup been there... Even though you love each other and do text, if you are both far away from each other feelings change. Long distance really ****s with emotions and people cave in to them. It's especially easy to lie since you are so far away and you end up doubting things like "what if shes lying? Is she seeing someone?" Usually you get these thoughts but tell yourself "no she would never do that she still loves me." However, I've learned to always trust your gut and go with your instinct and if you are wrong then you are wrong, its better than having false hope and pretending nothing is happening behind your back. She says she needs "time to sort things out" which I am not sure what she means because the last time someone told me that they ended spending all that time with someone else. It's hard to let go especially after all those times together and the memories, dear god the memories! They hurt the most, but unfortunately you may have to move on with your life. It's not healthy to be so far away and so emotionally invested in that person, it drains you physically and mentally to where you can't stop thinking about them. Love does crazy things to people and personally, I shamefully admit I did things I would never do on regular circumstances while being away from me ex (Yelling at her on the phone, being mad all the time, hacking her Facebook, threatening to harm myself etc...) But in the end I chose to let her go (because I found out she was with another guy) and 2 months later she calls me asking if we still had a chance and that she was sorry. I still loved her so I forgave her BUT I did not get back with her instead I offered to be her friend. I have no feelings for her anymore and we don't even talk but I am glad I made the decisions I made. I know you love her and it's extremely heartbreaking but you might want to let her go before it gets worse because by the looks of things, she has begun to move on while you are dwelling in the past . This is definitely hurting you more than its hurting her and I know it sucks and its okay to cry hell I bawled my eyes out for a week after I decided to end it. And as cliche as it sounds, it does get better and its the truth. You always move on to another even when it looks like you wont. Don't do anything crazy and start making deals (I'll move to Austin, You can move here, I'll do anything etc...) I've done that and we made a deal however she never held up her end. I know you love her alot alot alot alot alot but if you are far away love fades gradually and soon there will be none. So I advise you to get up focus on yourself go reconnect with old friends, finish your studies, go out, focus better at work. Life is short and you WILL move on, I hope this helps somewhat and you don't have to follow my advice maybe things turn out different and go right for you but in the end its all just another false hope. Control things that you are sure you can control instead of wishing and hoping things that you can not (control,) turn out in your favor. Best luck to you OP and I hope things soon come into place and you make your decision. P.S. Don't do nothing stupid like harming yourself, not worth it over a chick (sorry if you don't have any of these thoughts but gotta make sure lol)
salvy, you have the wrong thread. I think you were looking for the "bands you don't get" thread. Op, from someone that's gone through it, it get's easier down the road.
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She's playing games. Move on. The faster you do it the better off you will be in the long run. Its one thing for her to say she loves you and isnt sure, its a completely different thing to say that, and then have some guy meet her freakin' parents.
