RM95. i think you should listen to your hart. If it feels good to be with your current girlfrined and you have the feeling you love her and want to get marriedwith her. stay with her and try to avoid the other girl for a while. It happens in al long relationships that you get second thoughts. and a fight every 3 months isn't much. and a relationship that lasted for 3 years mean something, you do not know if you will love the new girl that long, or if she will love you that long. i'm always in favour of staying woth the girl your with. but if you have feelings for the other you must think. i just broke up a 3 year relationship. and i'm happie with the decision we both made.
Sonny, I dunno why. Something about admitting defeat when I feel like it's something I should be able to control. Stupid logic, I know. That, and I have absolutely nothing in my life to make me depressed or anything close (I know it's not always about that). I mean, it's hard for me to go to counseling, much less take drugs to combat it when I have a great family, amazing job, great friends, and, honestly, a great girlfriend. The only thing in my life that's a negative is my debt and the fact that my sports teams suck (well, they don't suck, just underachieve!). I know it's stupid to feel that way, I just do. I'm very much leaning towards staying with RM95's Girl depending on what she ends up wanting. I mean, we rarely fight, we've got extremely compatible personalities, and she's the lowest maintenance girl I've ever met. I mean, she doesn't care if I go out with the guys or go to strip clubs. I mean, would any of you give that up? That, and I have no idea what this other girl's like. We had fun and all, but she could be dumb as a doorknob or a racist, or God knows what. You don't really see those things in a buzzed induced trip to Shreveport! I think my feelings for the other girl may just be happiness that I know things will be alright if RM95's Girl and I do break up. I mean all day Saturday when I didn't know what the outcome would be, I felt like puking. Now, even though I'd be sad, I know it wouldn't be the end of the world. She did suggest taking a break to see how we feel. I could always fall back on Ross' excuse. "WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!"
I totally understand. Listen to what Jeff says man, he knows all. You might want to try some counseling, I went to a session once and it really seemed to help.
I'm probably going to end up doing that. The problem is that if this was happening 9 months ago, I would've wholeheartedly agreed to go to counseling. However, I feel like I've made a lot of progress in controlling it myself. The last few fights were nothing more than normal fights, IMO. Ah, I'm probably just in denial.
Good Lord!! Mad Drama on the BBS!!! Who needs Springer?? My advice for what it's worth...You aint ready to get married even if you totally convinced RM95's Girl is The One....not until you're completely comfortable w/ this moodiness problem altogether. Go take care of that first and then decide if you wanna grow old w/ this girl...
Wow. I just stumbled onto this thread again. I feel your pain RM95. I've been there. I was in a relationship with a woman for 2 years. She was always questioning the validity of our commitment because she had never been in such a long-term relationship in her life. Additionally we never fought. I am the most calm and unemotional guy on the planet (as long as sports isn't involved ). In 2 years we had 2 fights, the second resulting in our breakup. I think you've got to follow your heart. I know it sounds cliche, but its true. You sound like you're not ready to give up on the relationship you're in. By expressing trepidation about the unknown with the Louisiana girl, you seem to be trying to tell yourself its not worth giving up on a relationship in which you've vested much hard work, time, and energy. Ask yourself, do you seriously see your current girl as a life partner? If so, I think counseling may be right up your alley. I did the same with my old relationship and found out that I couldn't picture myself with her and being happy for the rest of my life. When I realized that, I knew it was over. Good luck man.
Difference is, I'm not having to resort to dating Nazi style racists in order to have some sort of relationship with the opposite sex, Mr. Mail Order.
RM95, Two things. 1) Forget about the Louisiana girl if she's just getting divorced. Sorry, but it's a fact that people need a good long time to get over divorce, no matter their age or maturity. You don't want to be some rebound thing, which is all she'll be up for, whether she admits it or not. 2) Do you and RM95's girl tend to always have the *same* argument, or does it change? I think arguments are underrated, as long as they move and don't keep retreading the same ground. Just my 2 cents.
OK, I have an interest in this because if you guys break up and don't come to NZ, I'm going to be peeved. Don't you *know* you have to stay together for the sake of an overseas journey? Seriously, to me this sounds slightly dodgy. I'm not sure which way I'd be leaning if I were you; I tend to think that when you're truly happy in a relationship you *don't* end up going to Louisiana with a girl at 3am, but what do I know? Fights are fights. Elvis and I are both huge spazzes (could you guess?) and we've both said things that we truly don't mean while infuriated. But... I don't know. This just sounds dubious.
Well, if nothing else, this just shows that I'm not ready for marriage for whatever reason. dimsie, yeah that would suck. I think part of my troubles that night was that even after she decided after our fight that we would stay together, she would say stuff like "I think I'm going to tell Molly that we aren't going since we may not be together by then". Way to invoke confidence! I'm not excusing what I did at all, just a possible explanation for what I did.
To top Springer, RM95's girl would have to come online and admit that she has been Trader_Jorge's mail-order bride, while at the same time cheating on RM95 with dimsie. Plus, she would really have to be a man.
Interestingly enough, I would estimate with 95% certainty that I know RM95's current girlfriend. We grew up in the same city. I could put an end to all this by simply alerting her to this thread. That would truly be..... CASE CLOSED
Actually, she only lived in that metro area of over 100,000 people the last year and a half of high school. She then lived there from '99-'02. I'd say with 95% certainty that you do not know her.
Trader_Jorge, did you get my mail...or are you too pissed to answer it just because I called you an ass ?
RM95, I think you guys could use a real break to sort out your feelings. Take a couple of weeks off, and see how it feels. People make bad decisions all the time, especially if you have years invested in each other. Not to mention that both of you are starting new careers or have recently moved in with each other. My guess is that you are growing apart, and it may be over. Just a guess, though.... Good luck. DD
