About to drive out to my bio Dad's house and literally kick his front door in

If OP is entitled to restitution then I'm entitled to reparations. I want my 40 acres and a mule.

 

You need to talk to the King. I heard he's looking to get rid of acreage.

 

Fake.

or

Desperately seeking attention.

 

Not sure crappy dad stories and racial politics mix as well as you'd think.

 

Or drunk an injecting heroin.

 

If he's rich he won't have just any door. What if you can't kick it down?

And you're basically saying all that missed time is worth one classic motorcycle...

 

I just saw this thread and read through it.

To the OP I'm really glad to hear you didn't go through it and I'm glad you let a lot of the people here talk you out of it. I'm not going to pretend that I understand your situation as my situation isn't like yours. Like many men though I've had a difficult relationship with my father and it is probably one of the reasons why I don't have children myself. I don't have any particular advice though for how to deal with your relationship with your father but I will say that going and kicking his door down and taking by force what you think is what you are owed is only going to make things far worse.

As Junkyard Dog said earlier you should think about your family and how you going to jail is going to help them. While you probably feel that what you are doing is righteous I doubt that the law will. So while there might be the momentary satisfaction of taking out your years of neglect from your father with your hands what will follow will be a long and arduous legal process that will make it harder for you to be the father to your children that your father never was to you.

Good to hear that you didn't follow through. We often forget how much of a community we have here and at the minimum you can come here and vent.

 

You'll only hurt yourself by allowing him to sue YOU, instead. Why does it bother you so much that he never loved you? You turned out well. None of your success is attributed to him. Just be happy.

 

You should be GRATEFUL to your dad that he did NOT abort you.

Go to him and say that.

 

My Situation is similar.
My Dad has been in and out but more out than anything
Never around blah blah blah

At times I was very angry now. . . I am more sad and pity him
I am not his only child but alot of his children have nothing for him
except when they desire money etc. . . he throws it at them etc
Trying to buy love and affection [not all of them but a few]

I made my peace with the man
He is a man that made a bad choice.

It happened once when I visited him. We were eating breakfast on my last day
I looked at him hard for a moment. . .he was just eating
I realized. . . he was all alone and lonely
It was by his own making but . .. i could not allow that
It hurts knowing that people are like that out there . . .and I could not allow it with my own dad
He hurt me .. . but I have forgiven him
I maybe a bit softhearted but I try
He will never be my father .. . i figured we could at least be friends

I don't get to speak or see him as much
I am very busy with other things
A part of my thinks i don't make him a priority now because he did not then
but I try not to be that petty. I seriously am just busy
He asks all the time for me to come see him but I simply cannot make the time.

Typing this makes me understand that I do love him but the distance and separation helps alot
he is stubborn, willful and selfish. He has been all his life.
I doubt it will change. He is over 75 yrs old.

TL;DR
OP: I say that to say this
You have an opportunity oi do or be what you want
YOU OWE HIM NOTHING . .. .
I will say this 15 is Aweful young to have a child.
Sounds like he has been the selfish person

Take a deep breath.
Let it go.
Live you life . .. . he can only enter it if you invite him in
TRUST THAT . . . he will need you before you need him
As he gets older he will think long and hard on it

Rocket River

 

This whole thread reeks of spoiled rich kid.

So many people have been through worse than having a rich father that didn't talk to or support them. My wife had practically the same issue. I tried to talk her into talking to him for years, and she wouldn't. He lived within an hour and a half of us. Finally, he decided to move seven hours away and she took it as her last chance. She had a conversation with him. Turns out, it was a big misunderstanding. Then, her brother had a conversation with him, too. Slowly, they've mended their relationship, although it could still be better. Also, she's gotten to know her 11 year old half-sister. I can't imagine not knowing my sister.

Neither her or her brother ever asked the guy for a motorcycle. Although he took her for a ride on his motorcycle. He also offered a trip for all of us to spend a week with them in their timeshare in Hawaii. My wife and brother in law turned it down, though, as they thought it'd be awkward.

You can't pick your parents. But you can realize, at a certain point, that all human beings are vulnerable. Misunderstandings, bad choices, and just general unawareness happen. The best thing to do is not to hold on to whatever anger or negative emotions you have. Talk to him. Forgive him. You'll be better in the long run.

Sorry. Had to say it.

 

As someone who had a lot of anger issues and dwelled on things that pissed me off, a wise man told me a simple thing one time that I have used successfully

"Let it go"

Such a simple phrase. I'm sure it's easier said than done but nothing good will happen if you just hold a grudge

You seem to have a nice life. Don't throw it all away by one simple action

Good luck OP and I hope you find peace

 

I get that he is a bad guy, hasn't taken responsibility etc. & that understandably makes you mad, but in way have you been "rolling over" exactly?

 

I mean what exactly are you wanting

 

Do it dude, it's totally worth it FTW!!

 

there's still time

 

he wants a motorcycle.

 

Send him mean tweets.

 

I know this will probably be taken the wrong way or seen as a back-handed compliment, but I really don't mean it that way. RR is one of my favorite posters when it comes to topics other than race. Nice post.

 

To the OP.

This guy you claim is your father, was obviously a dude who was selfish and ONLY thought of himself. You now have a family of your own, and if you would have followed through with this childish act of busting down his door (more then likely putting yourself in jail) then you too would have been guilty of being selfish and only thinking of yourself. Putting your desires/emotions/needs over your own children.

It's one to thing to think these thoughts, but following through on them? Ask yourself this. Would the few seconds of gratification you would have felt doing said act have been worth putting your wife and children at risk? If you TRULY love your family then you need to think twice about following through on future thoughts getting retribution from this man. It just isn't worth it.

As crazy as it sounds, you needed a man and a woman to get together to bring you into the world and the good Lord decided this man filled half of this equation. As another poster stated he was a sperm donor. Sounds harsh, but in the big picture without him you don't have life.

Now what do you want to do with your life moving forward? This guy could hand over all of his possessions to you, and it would NEVER fill what you've wanted from him all this time. To be loved by him, and from what you've stated it appears that this guy just doesn't have it in him.

Trust me he's the loser having no relationship with you or his grandchildren. How can you expect someone to give you love when it's pretty easy to see he doesn't even love himself.

We all just want to be loved and acknowledged. Especially by our parents. Sorry the hurt he's brought you all these years. All I can say is this should make you want to love your wife and children that much more.

God bless and I hope you find the peace you are searching for.