A (recycled) list of some funny NBA quotes

Some of these are kinda old, but still good for a laugh... #8 still makes me lol

1) "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." - Jason Kidd

2) "Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points they almost always win." - Doug Collins

3) "What a pathetic play from a pathetic human being." - Bill Walton on Larry Johnson (Knicks)

4) Reporter: "Antoine, how come you shoot so many 3s?" Walker: "Cuz there ain't no 4s."

5) "Nothing easy." - Zaza Pachuia

6) "The new moron in town is Chad Ford of ESPN.com." – Mark Cuban

7) "That’s a cheap shot by a low-class type player. You don’t do that. That’s gay on his part. I told him that he was gay, too, for touching me in my private parts." – Francisco Elson

8) "Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious." - Charles Shackleford

9) “Our offense is like the Pythagorean Theorem. There is no answer.” - Shaq

10) "Once he learns the game, he's gonna be special." - Doug Moe on Hakeem after the rookie totaled 46/18 against his team.

11) "I don't mess with that cat. I'm pretty sure he carries a blade under his jersey." - Charles Barkley Barkley on Anthony Mason

12) "I never met a shot I didn't like." - World B. Free

13) "These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it." - Charles Barkley

14) "The idea is not to block every shot. The idea is to make your opponent believe that you might block every shot." - Bill Russell

15) "It's the kind of game that makes you go home and beat your wife." - Charles Barkley after a loss to the Bulls in the early 90s.

16) "I know what I would do if I were coach. I'd determine our strengths and weaknesses and utilize them. And it's pretty clear what our strength is." - Michael Jordan

17) Michael Ray Richardson: "The ship be sinkin'." Reporter: "How low is it going to go?" Michael: "Sky's the limit."

18) "We wish Jordan were 7-feet, but he isn't. There just wasn't a center available. What can you do? Jordan isn't going to turn this franchise around. I wouldn't ask him to. He's a very good offensive player, but not an overpowering offensive player." - Rod Thorn after drafting MJ.

19) "I thought LeBron James was just another guy brought in to help me score." - Ricky Davis

20) "This is it. It's for all the marbles. I'm sitting in the house loading up the pump, I'm loading up the Uzis, I've got a couple of M-16s, couple of nines, couple of joints with some silencers on them, couple of grenades, got a missile launcher. I'm ready for war." - Kevin Garnett on the Kings/Wolves series.

21) “I’m bringing my shotgun, my bow and arrow, my four-wheel drive truck and four wheelers and run over him. It’s going to be the ultimate battle. He’s a warrior, and that’s how I like to play when I step between the lines.” - Brad Miller's response.

22) Marv Albert: "Eric Snow dribbles down and launches a three!" (Shot misses)
Bill Walton: "What is Eric Snow doing launching three pointers? Can someone tell me when the last time Eric Snow made a three pointer?"
Marv Albert: "Actually, last time down the court Bill."
Bill Walton: "Oh...can someone tell me why Eric Snow isn't getting more three point opportunities?"

23) "No one in the building is sitting down right now!" (Camera pans to Joe Dumars seated) "Except Joe Dumars!" - Bill Walton

24) "The Boston Celtic home court advantage is one of he most powerful forces in the universe."

25) "Not a game, not a game... practice..." - Allen Iverson

26) "That's a cheap shot by a low-class type player. You don't do that. That's gay on his part. I told him that he was gay, too, for touching me in my private parts." – Francisco Elson

27) "I don't know what's wrong with that girl." - Reggie Evans on Pau Gasol.

28) "I really like Rafer Alston. We get along great. We have a lot of fun times together that I can't share with you guys." - Jalen Rose

"When (Jalen) comes over here, I'm going to give him a kiss. Not on his lips, though." - Rafer Alston

29) "And (Reggie) Evans — you talk about Vlade being a flopper? This guy is taking it to a whole new level. He goes down when the air conditioning comes on." – Rick Adelman

 

Yeah, these days it's just alot of politically correct "110 percent", "they were the better team today" "make more adjustments".....etc.
Where have all the knuckleheads gone??