Hope this is funny and fresh. You might be a Redneck Jedi if..... 1. You ever said the phrase, "May the force be with y'all." 2. Your Jedi robe is camouflage. 3. You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light. 4. At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored. 5. You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok. 6. You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your front yard. 7. The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters. 8. Wookies are offended by your B.O. 9. You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial. 10. You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling. 12. You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to light your barbecue grill. 13. You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder. 14. You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts. 15. You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window. 16. Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women. 17. You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca. 18. You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck. 19. You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene. 20. If you hear "Luke, I am your father... and your uncle.
The TOP 10 Things We Want To Hear Samuel L. Jackson's Character "Jedi Master Mace Windu" Say in the Star Wars Prequels 10. You don't need to see my ******* identification, 'cause these ain't the motherf**kin' droids you're looking for. 9. Womp rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know, 'cause even if it did I wouldn't eat the filthy motherf**ker. 8. This is your father's lightsaber. When you absolutely, positively, have to kill every motherf**kin' battle droid in the room... accept no substitutes. 7. If Obi-Wan ain't home then I don't know what the f**k we're gonna do. I ain't got no other connections on Tattooine. 6. Feel the Force, motherf**ker. 5. What ain't no planet I've ever heard of! Do they speak Bocce on What? 4. You sendin' the Fett? ****, Hutt, that's all you had to say! 3. Yeah Chewie Rocky Horror's got a hair problem. What the brother gonna do? He's a wookie. 2. Does Yoda look like a b****? 1. Hand me my lightsaber... it's the one that says, "Bad Mother F**ker." -- oh... and both of these are old, not fresh. These came out before Episode I...
another old one... ---- The Top 15 "Star Wars" Euphemisms for Masturbation 15> Shooting Womprats in Beggar's Canyon 14> Grooming the Wookie 13> Making the Kessel Run 12> Polishing Vader's Helmet 11> Evacuating Tatooine 10> Unsheathing the Meatsaber 9> Releasing the Special Edition 8> Jumping to Delight Speed 7> Communicating with Red Leader One 6> Lightsaber Practice with Captain Solo 5> Tinkering With the R2 Unit 4> Manually Targeting the Rebel Base 3> Performing the Jedi Hand Trick 2> Scratching Yoda Behind the Ears 1> Test Firing the Death Star ---
