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(Yahoo Sports) Two birds, one stone — solving Toronto's Chris Bosh problem

Discussion in 'Houston Rockets: Game Action & Roster Moves' started by Egghead, Apr 30, 2010.

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  1. Egghead

    Egghead Member

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    Lock if posted already.....

    http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ba...tone-solving-Toronto-s-Chris-B?urn=nba,237913

    Two birds, one stone — solving Toronto's Chris Bosh problem

    By Trey Kerby

    Chris Bosh and the Toronto Raptors are not best friends. Nowadays they're more like the kind of friends who don't live that close to each other, but catch up with e-mails and maybe a phone call every once in a while, even though they never really hang out anymore. It's a flawless metaphor because Chris Bosh probably still likes the Raptors, but there's just not the same spark. And since he's going to be on the market this summer, that's kinda like a big deal.

    Like any team with a big-time free agent, the Raptors don't want to lose Chris Bosh for nothing. Ergo, if it becomes clear that Bosh is leaving, they'll be looking for a sign-and-trade partner. According to Marc Stein at TrueHoop, that partner could be the Houston Rockets, who have a ton of pieces for sale.

    The Rockets' No. 1 free-agent target? Sources say it's still Bosh, who earlier this season said the idea of playing in his hometown of Dallas holds limited appeal ... but hasn't said anything to suggest that he wouldn't play somewhere else in his home state.

    If the Raptors and Bosh reach the expected conclusion that it's time for an amicable divorce, Houston has amassed an enticing cache of sign-and-trade assets. One source, offering one small example, says that the Raptors are intrigued by young forward Jordan Hill, whom the Rockets extracted from the Knicks in the Tracy McGrady three-way deal in February.

    Makes sense to me. No sense in losing your franchise cornerstone for nothing. However, I'm guessing Toronto would rather not lose Bosh in the first place. And that's why I've devised this foolproof plan to help these teams get what they want.

    It requires a radical procedure that involves grafting each other's face onto their heads. It's only been performed two other times in history, but there have been very few side effects for either Nicolas Cage or John Travolta. Here's a dramatization of my solution:

    [​IMG]

    Problem solved. The Raptors get to keep Bosh, and the Rockets get their own Chris Bosh, who will be just a little bit worse than when he was one of the NBA's best. Call it the Tracy McGrady Effect, and I don't think anyone will catch on.

    All we have to do now is teach Jordan Hill to shoot left-handed. Someone get LeBron on the phone.
     
    #1 Egghead, Apr 30, 2010
    1 person likes this.
  2. Tom Bombadillo

    Tom Bombadillo Member

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    I wish we could have Chris Bosh AND Jordan Hill...
     
    #2 Tom Bombadillo, Apr 30, 2010
  3. Commodore

    Commodore Member

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    Nice photoshop, repped.

    Going by body type, Hill looks better.
     
    #3 Commodore, Apr 30, 2010
  4. T-Slack

    T-Slack Member

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    Good find, but I felt like I wasted 2 mins reading that crap.
     
    #4 T-Slack, Apr 30, 2010
  5. Egghead

    Egghead Member

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    lol, I didn't photoshop it.. it was done by yahoo.
     
    #5 Egghead, Apr 30, 2010
  6. worzel gummidge

    worzel gummidge Member

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    If Dirk is available... Pipedream of a three team trade involving Bosh to Dallas where Rockets get Dirk.
     
    #6 worzel gummidge, Apr 30, 2010
  7. Carl Herrera

    Carl Herrera Member

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    Once again, my theory has been vindicated. Jordan Hill is the black Chris Bosh.
     
    #7 Carl Herrera, Apr 30, 2010
  8. thadeus

    thadeus Member

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    It was somewhere in the middle of this article that the full force of this realization struck me ... it really IS the offseason.
     
    #8 thadeus, Apr 30, 2010
  9. eveluvsrox

    eveluvsrox Member

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    Dirk wants to die in dallas. He's not leaving.
    I had to look twice at that photoshop. nice.
     
    #9 eveluvsrox, Apr 30, 2010
  10. ICanDunkOnYao

    ICanDunkOnYao Member

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    Yahoo forgot to 'shop the Jersey numbers.
     
    #10 ICanDunkOnYao, Apr 30, 2010
  11. seclusion

    seclusion rip chadwick

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    you forgot to read the article, so I guess it's a tie.
     
    #11 seclusion, Apr 30, 2010
  12. ICanDunkOnYao

    ICanDunkOnYao Member

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    actually I did. Maybe I didn't catch something?
     
    #12 ICanDunkOnYao, Apr 30, 2010
  13. seclusion

    seclusion rip chadwick

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    There is no way you read it. Read the last two paragraphs.
     
    #13 seclusion, Apr 30, 2010
  14. Trip

    Trip Member

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    Yahoo's NBA blog has really gone downhill since JE Skeets left. This new guy they have just makes stupid "funny" posts. It makes you think it's the offseason everyday. I'm sure KellyDwyer feels the same way, except he probably can't say anything about it.
     
    #14 Trip, Apr 30, 2010
  15. OGKashMoney

    OGKashMoney Member

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    What's with all the Dirk, Spurs, and D-Will love on this board suddenly? It makes me sick! :mad:
     
    #15 OGKashMoney, Apr 30, 2010
  16. seclusion

    seclusion rip chadwick

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    Are you serious? I'd take dirk or dwill in a rockets uniform. I'd rather have bosh than dirk any day though.

    The jazz are douchebags but for the most part williams is respectable. Boozer/okur are the true buttpirates.
     
    #16 seclusion, Apr 30, 2010
  17. Raven

    Raven Member

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    No way we'd have any chance of keeping Brooks if that happened, or we'd have to take back a bad contract. Not even Chase would be enough to sweeten the pot. Toronto needs Jordan Hill, so they can sell the idea to the fans. The enticing possibility that Hill might develop into a solid replacement for the star they just lost.
     
    #17 Raven, Apr 30, 2010
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  18. bellclare1

    bellclare1 Member

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    Went 2 college went some best friends of bosh, all they did was call and beg him for shoes, shirts, shorts ect.... that's the only reason I believe he doesn't wanna be directly in dallas, that alone will let us win the bidding war with dallas if there is 1..he loves texas though...
    I'm really just wondering what else we would have 2 give up besides j.hill
     
    #18 bellclare1, Apr 30, 2010
  19. josh_is_white

    josh_is_white Member

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    lol nice
     
    #19 josh_is_white, Apr 30, 2010
  20. OGKashMoney

    OGKashMoney Member

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    I can't cheer for Dirk! If he is in a Rockets uniform, I well feel the same way as I did when Quitten was on the Rockets; I'll accept it and root for the Rockets but I still won't be a fan of Dirk. How can a 7-footer be so afraid of the paint? Get in there and bang instead of flopping so much! :mad:

    D-Will has an amazing game, but as long as he is wearing that ugly jersey, I can't root for him. I just can't force myself to do that. It sucks too b/c I personally think he is a better person than CP3's ill-mannered ass and if D-Will was on the Hornets or any other team (except for Dallas) I can at least root for the player, but that Jazz uniforms won't let me. So I hope he chokes and the Jazz lose the next two! :grin:
     
    #20 OGKashMoney, Apr 30, 2010
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