came home from school. a few months ago. may. she calls me at home... hadnt talked to her in a few weeks prior... she asks me how im doing... i say im sleeping, ive gotta go, i cant talk to you anymore. "just try to forget everything" i say. and i hang up on her. i block all her AOL screen names... and i start the process of getting over her. i cant be her friend i tell myself, its all her nothing. im not going to sit around and listen to her tell me about her new boyfriend..i cant do it. i think about her..but i look ahead... its been months... tonight.. im on here.. i get an IM from her... asking me how im doing.... i tell her i cant talk to her, and to please not do this to me.... she just asks me how im doing...and i just say im doing great which is a total lie, and i tell her im blocking her again. she tells me she hopes we can talk again someday... why.................................... why when i explain to this girl , i cant talk to her. It hurts.. why does she keep trying to talk to me. ive told her it hurts too much. ive told her i cant talk to her. yet she keeps on asking me stupid stuff like how youre doing.... this girl wouldnt even see me in person unless i talked and met her new boyfriend first. i said F U, im not doing that. we arent talking anymore..... its hard to get over a girl, when she keeps trying to talk to you.............................................. she even asked me who some girl was, i mentioned on my info. why would she do that unless she had some slight jealousy in her. what a complicated meaningless situation this is. should i try to be her friend, go through all the pain? or should i keep trying to ignore her.......... im not r****ded, and i dont run my life by what you people say, i know what im going to do already, im just interested in what you think and ready to listen to any relative stories....
You can't keep running from it/her for the rest of your life, Holden. You have to confront her and tell her your feelings and see what she has to say after that. From what you've posted, she may be feeling like she hurt you but doesn't want to admit it - and that she made a mistake in leaving and wants to try to reconcile things (of course, without admitting any wrongdoing). But in any case - you have to confront it. It may hurt, it may sting...but it's something you have to do.
i know how that is. sometimes i want to talk to my ex; i just want to call him up and be his best friend again. i want to know how life is. i used to be his life and now i want to know what he wakes up looking forward to every morning since it's not me anymore, but i dont. i can't. in the end things dont work out like always and everyone gets hurt all over again. the sooner you get her out of your life, the sooner you move on with it.
why is it that all we have to do is dump or reject you guys and then you don't want to be our friends anymore? then we can't lean on you and use you as a shoulder to cry on while we rub our new boyfriend in your faces. sigh... men... Seriously: are you sure she still has that new boyfriend? You may wish to at least hear what she has to say, since it seems to be very important to her that she talk to you. If it's the same old s***, then you can go back to ignoring her. I think men and women just approach things differently; we'd rather be friends with our exes to retain the emotional connection and keep things smooth, but for guys it seems to hurt too much.
Holden -- I'm sorry about the pain you are going through. I hope that you and your ex-girl will remain good friends. However, I wouldn't hold out hope in having any sort of romantic long-term relationship with this woman. Getting married and staying married today is tough enough (at least a 50% divorce rate) when you're with a woman you haven't broken up with. But if you do get back together with this woman, what are the odds that any marriage with her will last for the rest of your life? Divorce truly sucks. Life is too damn short to go through in misery, dude. Find another woman that you will be crazy about and she will be nuts about you too. You owe this to yourself.
Ninja -- I got over losing the love of my life after I found out what a true B***H she had become after we broke up (and that wasn't because we hadn't broken up). So it is possible!!
I would say it's possible to get over the love of your life, but the means by which you do it are different for different people. Some people need to face up to that person, and just get all of their feelings out to that person, regardless of the outcome. Just a big venting process that helps, really. And just sorting through all of those emotions face to face can ultimately help you through that painful process, and sometimes even provide insight as to why it's a "good" thing you aren't together anymore. contrarily, some people move on best by just shutting off all lines of contact. Not necessarily pretending the person doesn't exist, but maybe by just moving on, not dwelling on sh*t, and simply feeling like that person has taken, even wasted, so much of your precious time, and doesn't deserve to take any more. I guess, if i have a point, it is that different people need different things to move on. I believe, unfortunately, it is a LOOOOOOOOOOONG and ARDUOUS process for most everyone. But if it didn't mean anything in the first place, then it probably wouldn't hurt so much for it to end. Good luck, Holden, with whatever you decide....
i think once you love someone with all of your heart you'll always love them no matter what happens, but that doesnt mean you wont love someone the same or more someday.
Holden: I gave you advice on this once before and even though I didn't initially stick to it myself, I stand by it. Don't try that "let's be friends" bull****. It works for some people, not for others. You know in your heart whether it will work for you or not and based on your post(s), it won't. So don't waste time with the b****. Move on. Think of it this way-- this is wholly egotistical to say, but you have to be selfish until you're over her. You're depriving some other girl of everything you have to offer. Seriously-- right now there's a single girl (well, actually, thousands of them) out there wondering why she can't find a good man. Meanwhile you're sitting around wallowing in the mess your ex made for you. What a colossal waste of time. Don't do it. Even if you don't like dating, start doing it again. Panda is right: find another girl. You will be amazed how insignificant an ex seems the first time you wake up next to another woman. Trust me on this one. The worst thing about all of this is, it looks like your ex really enjoys poking your open wounds. She sounds sadistic at best. Do everything you can to avoid contact with her.
It's hell, bro', and I know what you're going through. I'm lucky and unlucky in my breakup: lucky because she's far away and I don't have to see her with another guy (she's Japanese, and she's working in that country); unlucky because the time and distance forced the breakup in the first place, and I wouldn't have to be "lucky" if I weren't "unlucky." My problem is, I keep listening to that voice saying we were meant to be together....but something has to give, she has to come back or I have to find full-time work there (scary). So I have resolved, if possible, to move on, find a hot little mama (personality, looks) who doesn't have marriage on the brain (that would be a mistake for me right now) and live my life. It's tough, though, especially after we broke silence (3½ months worth) for that "let's be friends why did things have to go that way I still love you blah blah" phone conversation.
Call the LAPD on her. . . Just kidding but for real the PANDA is right. . .GET ANOTHER GIRL Tell her. . to BACK BACK . . BACK BACK . . GIMMIE 50 FEET! Let her know that she needs to give you 6 months. . .then we can talk Rocket River
she calls me from the cold just when i was low feeling short of stable all that she intends and all she keeps inside isn't on the label she says she's ashamed can she take me for a while can i be a friend we'll forget the past but maybe i'm not able
This Reminds me of a classic song from the early 90's! " Oh Baby You....You got what I need, but you say he's just a friend, but you say he's just a friend..........I'm beggin Please! You got what I need! But you say he's just a friend, but you say he's just a friend" J/joking...but I love that song. The best way to get over a girl is to get another one. It works from both sides, I've wanted to be friends with ex-girlfriends, but they can't handle it either. I really feel that its next to impossible to have a true "friend" of the opposite sex. No matter what, someone is going to like someone more than the other and its eventually going to end up with someone's feelings hurt. Its worse if the two people used to date. A lot of times after a breakup someone wants to be friends because they see the possibility of getting back together. Holden, the great thing about an ex is they've already been with you, so later when you bump into them you can usually get some loving with less hassle!
