Okay, what with all the tense and passionate threads about nuclear arms, terrorism, and war, I felt like talking with you all ( sorry, y'all) about something a little lighter... So, what I want to know is, what are the worst pick-up lines you've ever actually heard in person? You could have had it said to you, used it yourself, or been RIGHT there when you heard it said to someone else, but I want 1st person accounts here, not " I know a friend who said this guy said"...etc.etc..The reason I want to know 1st person is that we've all heard these urban myths about pick-up lines, but I want to know what it's REALLY like out there for everyone. Ok, I'll give mine...There are 3 that stand out... 1) I was on the top floor of a 3 floor club, the kind with different music on every floor...I had seen this pretty hot woman dancing nearby, but that was it..I really really don't like to meet anyone in bars, especially after having managed/tended bars...anyways..I was heading to the bathroom, and one of my resident roommates was going at the same time. We had to head out of the actual bar part, and around this stairwell where the music is echoing but not clearly ( this all matters...) Suddenly, there is this hand on my chest, and it's that woman I'd noticed...She leans into me, and says something like " I like the way you dance. " I say, yeah, thanks, and go to move on..She leans in again and says, after saying she never does this kind of thing ( Have you ever noticed that every single time a woman hits on you, they have to preface it with some variation of I never do this but...), she says to me, I swear to god, she says " I really mean it, I like the way you move...Let's go to your place,and FORNICATE"...okay, my mind is saying to me " Don't react, you didn't hear that right. " because the music is echoing..So, I say, real smooth like, " What?" and she says it agin...FORNICATE!!! Now, usually we all have standard ways of turning people down in bars, but I am so flumoxed by the technicality of this come-on, that, to my everlasting shame, I reply " uh...yeah...I would, but I'm here with people..." and head on into the bathroom. My friend, who has heard the whole exchange, is killing himself laughing, and of course tells everyone about it as soon as we're back in the bar...So, while she came off strangely scientific, I came off looking like a dork. 2) (Much shorter)...At another bar, one I had worked at, therefore knew almost everyone..pretty small but crowded dance floor..ok..Dancing, this girl starts getting pretty close on the floor, which is fine..but after the music ends, and I turn to walk back to a broup of my friends, she cuts in between me and them, maybe 2 feet away from them, so we've got an audience, and says that she liked dancing with me, and after the obligatory 'I never do this but...' she says that she lives nearby, and she thinks that if I came over, WE COULD MAKE BEAUTIFUL MUSIC TOGETHER......It's soooo cheesy, and catches me soo off guard, that I just start laughing...can't even get out an answer, just killing myself..and my friends start laughing too..and she slaps me in the face! And for some reason ( even though it was pretty hard) that makes me laugh even more..and she storms off like I'm the *******...which some of my female friends there, even ones who laugh, tell me I acted like, so I guess this is another one where I come off looking bad...anyways... I was going to say a 3rd, but it happened to my ex-girlfriend. I was there, but it's not really the same, so I'll skip it. Really cheesy line, though... ok, those are mine...Can't wait to hear yours, especially if there are some of you guys out there who are actually the type to go up to a girl with lines like " Is your father a thief? etc. etc." Please, it's relatively anon here, fess up, we'll all get a chuckle together...I came off looking like a dork/ass in mine, so what's the worry?
Where are <b>your</b> lines? Or are you so amazingly studly that you never have to initiate the contact?!!
RIPPed from another board. no credits taken Do you sleep on your stomach? If yes: Oh, well can I? If no: Can I? here's a few more: Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far? The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name. If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question? Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too. As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn! I know milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much have you been drinking? You with those curves, and me with no brakes ... Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track. Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet. Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business. Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me? If I said you had a great body, would you hold it against me? Wow! Are those real?
again, no credits for stolen cut and paste job....more: Did it hurt? (What?) When you fell from heaven ... Did it hurt? Girl, you must be tired 'cause you've been running through my mind all day! Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts) Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants. Excuse me, miss, do you bjs to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself. If I let you suck on my tongue would you be greatful? True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place. I'm going to have sex with you tonight no matter what so you might as well be there. How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up? What is a slutty girl like you doing in a classy place like this? OOPS! I mean, what is nice girl like you doing in a dump like this? (Phew) Hi, my name's {name}. Remember it, you'll be screaming it later tonight! My name is {name}, but you can call me anything at all. Just call me. He: Excuse me, want to dance? She: No. He: Maybe you didn't hear me ... I said you look really fat in those pants! He : Hey Baby ... Wanna dance? She : No. He : Oh, C'mon! Lower you're standards a little. I did... HEHHEHEH HERES FOR THE SHEEP POSTER ON THIS BOARD!!!!!!! Hey, let's play flock herder and sheep. You stand over there and make sheep noises and I'll sneak up behind you and have sex with you. Me Do you work out? Girl No, why? Me That makes sense. Your ass is huge!
This is another one of those that I've never actually heard used, but... (Lick your finger and just touch her shirt or something with it) "C'mon, let's get you out of these wet clothes..."
I wrote a stupid song that features some rough pick up lines. Baby, I think that we should go see a karate movie, cause your a$$ is kickin'! Tonight's gonna be like the kitchen table... Four legs and no drawers! Is that an onion in your pants? cause something down there is making me cry. Are those space pants that your wearing? Your a$$ is out of this world. I'm like bread in your oven... I keep rising! Turn over, I want to see what you look like from the front side! It's pretty sad, I know. It works in a round about way though.
This saleswoman said this to me once: "Do you want to open a Banana Republic account? If you open one tonight, I'll give you some Banana points."
I've never heard this myself, but apparently some girl I know has, and this was quite stupid: Do you work for UPS, cause I could've sworn you were checking out my package.
Someone in college actually used these on me. None of these took place in a bar, or even with anyone inebriated. (calls and asks to speak to me) "Hi, this is [name withheld to avoid further humiliation]." "ummmm... I'm trying to remember where I know you from." He says: "I saw you at the help session last night, and you were in my chemistry class." (do you know how big these classes are?) "sorry, I don't quite remember you." "Well, I was wondering if you wanted to go out to dinner tonight." His roommate said later that he would take the school directory, look for familiar names, and ask the girls out, usually getting turned down several times in a row. Same person, later: "Your complexion has improved a lot since last year." (it wasn't worth trying to hide my laughter on that one) and, trying to keep track of all the girls he hits on: "You live on the third floor of [my dorm], right? I saw you coming out of the shower. You were wearing a pink bathrobe." Me: "I don't own a pink bathrobe." (same guy, to one of my friends) "I remember you... Ms. Blume, right? Like a spring flower."
