Hello my fellow clutch fans members. I needed advice and opinions on an issue in regards to this girl at work. I have a paid internship at a company which will remain anonymous, and had my mind stuck on this coworker. So I go to work one day and a couple people who I work with are telling me and keep telling me to talk to this one gal I work with. So I found out she's attracted to me, (disregard the troubles I may wind up in with HR or managers on the grounds of them discouraging coworkers dating since I don't care). So my first impression is wow she's drop dead gorgeous and seems really nice. Fast forward a couple weeks and I get to know her more and plan to ask her out (we're now talking about today). I hang out with some of my male coworkers, they're a little a bit like the jersey shore guys. They're not guides but they drink and go on from woman to woman. Turns out they've also hung out with her and had drinks with her at their place (their roommates). Now they haven't made any intentions of doing anything for her even verbally saying that they'd step aside and would let me talk to her and possibly start a relation ship. So my issue is I have two views of this coworker. She's pretty, more than dateable and is just overall great, the other view is yeah she's pretty but she seems like she parties and sleeps around. Now she's free to see whomever and live her life but one part of me once wanted to romance her and have a nice date seeing her as someone with morals and is a good person. My other side says forget it, she's just a party girl and move on. Yeah so I'm just really hung up over this, I'm at the age where I don't wanna hookup and have one night stands and that I'd rather pursue a actual girlfriend. So I don't know whether to trust my coworkers who pushed me to talk to her and made her out to seem like a saint or the jersey shore "bros" who made her out to sound like some dirty girl you meet at a bar. Any helpful and meaningful advice Is appreciated please no childish posts that say 1st or useless Internet memes
I have a brilliant idea. Don't pre-judge her, and ask her whatever you want to know and then decide whether or not the two of you are compatible. There's really no other way to go about it.
Seems like the only reason you wouldn't want to know her better is because you're afraid you won't measure up. Be upfront on your desires and what you want in a relationship, and that's the best measure of what you should do from there. That info is better than any advice you'll get from strangers. You can't expect a relationship before having a single date. You already have feelings for her. Ignoring her won't make them go away.
So both are you guys are pretty much telling me see for myself. I want to, it's just that I for some reason my doubt and the side of me that says know she's not worth it are being overpowering in my head right now. But thanks, I think I will go through with it, a first date that is. Hope it turns out good, I found out literally hours ago from the bros and saw txts that she sent them and it all just seems so crazy.
You are too tense going into this already. What do you mean by "she is not worth it" just because she liked to party and go out and have fun? Take it easy and go into this without any preconceptions, you act like the girl already owes you something when you haven't even gone out on a date yet. She will notice how tense you are and that will make things awkward. You are in between putting her on a pedestal and considering her a slut - the reality is that this is more a reflection of your own insecurities than anything else. Good luck.
Thank you. So I should go see for myself on a firstdate like you, mathloom and invisible fan said? This is probably am obvious yes
So, she "seems like she parties and sleeps around" because she was over at their apartment drinking? I hope you don't conclude she's not worth it because she likes to drink and have fun. How do you know she's even sleeping around? I've gotten blasted with my coworkers before and I'm not a "slut." If she actually DOES sleep around a lot, then I guess I understand your worries - STDs, jealousy and fear she'll cheat, etc...but you don't know anything yet. She's beautiful and nice, why wreck it before it even begins?? Good luck.
. . .i think this is where we say . . . Pictures or STFU!!! *LOL* Just Kidding. Question: If she slept around but is now ready to settle down . . . would you be good with that? Rocket River
Yeah if she is who I originally thought she was she's the ideal woman. However the only negativity is coming from the jersey shore guys. As low brained and disrespectful as these guys are they for some reason respect me. Then yet again I'm not a conflictive person and I hold my tongue. My personality is laid back and the one "nice guy" everyone knows. I pulled strings and crunched schedules so I can work Thursday. This was done Friday night before I saw the texts and heard the stories last night (Saturday). I was going to ask her to a nice date and get to know her. And yes everyone I've removed her from the slut label and taken her off the pedestal I placed her on however I have different cliques at my work supporting both personalities. Sooo I don't know whether to go in Thursday and see if she wants to do something Saturday or play it off as nothing more and just work the hours I picked up extra.
There's two d-bags. Ones an ok guy minus the fact he drinks alcohol like water and that makes him make some bad choices and the other one could be talking straight out of his ass or speaking the word of god (I can't decide really on that one). The 2nd one got a text from the girl that they were gonna hangout, she's coming back in town from visiting family and mentioned wanting to hang out, coincidence he doesn't show up to work today.
What are her views on stimulus? Does she want to lubricate things or does she practice austerity? Do you think she would like to grip a rising recovery?
What were in these texts that made you jump to the conclusion that she slept around etc etc? Just cause she was out drinking at some guys apartment does mean much. But, like the rest have said, you go on the date, but don't seem to stern. That way if you do like her, she doesn't think you're controlling etc etc. Good luck!
Make sure she doesn't like Bush. Also once you've invaded make sure to have an exit strategy, unless its worth it, then occupy forever.
I've never understood why guys view women differently if they simply have the same morals as men. Not that I know what the morals are of this chick, but clearly the OP is looking at her differently than he would look at a guy who was doing the same things, in my opinion.
I think it comes from the fact that . . . guys are not trying to sleep with/marry the slutty guys. Rocket River
