'With Chris on the way, Hakeem will cut a deal of his own, guaranteed.'

Dale Robertson might have a mullett, but at least he writes things that I want to read.

What would you say if somebody told you the Rockets were going to sign Chris Webber, retain Hakeem Olajuwon, acquire real help in the draft and, despite the bottom-line ramifications of the aforementioned, reward your extreme patience for their two-season playoff drought by not raising ticket prices?

You'd say hip, hip hooray, that's what. And it's all about to happen. Webber's coming, Hakeem's staying, draft day will be a hoot and the price of admission won't be rising for the first time in ages, at least since before tattoos and baggy shorts were in vogue. The latter is a done deal. You'll soon receive a letter from owner Leslie Alexander, officially declaring same.

True, the other items are a bit more speculative. But things appear to be breaking exactly right for the Rockets in regard to Webber, who is going, going, gone from Sacramento -- mentally, emotionally and physically -- after the Kings were flung headfirst from the second round of the playoffs by those bully Lakers.

No, he didn't play well, but, no, he didn't much appreciate having it pointed out by every man, woman and child in greater Sacramento. Being made to shoulder the blame for the sweep hurt his feelings and reinforced his unhappiness over living in what he considers the NBA's hicksville.

Relations between the town, which he once called boring, and its totem were already strained. Now the pairing is irreparably broken.

So, why Houston when everyone wants Webber, too, you ask? Because there may be no marquee player in the league more driven to win a championship -- his phantom timeout fiasco at Michigan still haunts him -- and he will see that the Rockets are better situated for his grabbing that elusive ring than anyone who can remotely afford the roughly $12 million salary he'll command.


Cap space at a premium
Only four teams have the cap room to meet Webber's financial needs: Detroit, Chicago, Seattle and the Rockets. The hapless Bulls have no hope of prevailing for the same reason his hometown Pistons don't, either. Neither is positioned to win any time soon, even in the scrawny Eastern Conference, and neither has a player with whom he could share the burden of superstardom.

The SuperSonics are coming off a 44-victory season, but they are in transition in the wake of the failed Patrick Ewing experiment. Management is contemplating a wholesale rebuilding, not a word Webber wants to hear ever again coming from Golden State, Washington and Sacramento. At 28, he's feeling a real sense of urgency.

The Rockets, meanwhile, won 45 games with a fun team that's young at its heart. In Steve Francis, he will have a yin to go with his yang, a fellow go-to guy who shares his hunger for cresting the hump. Stevie Franchise -- the nickname alone lifts a load off Webber -- possesses a whatever-it-takes mind-set. Francis can be happy scoring or assisting, as long as the result is good.

And Houston after dark has enough action to satisfy Webber's needs off the court. Not as much as New York, his favorite place, but enough.

In a perfect Webber world, he would clearly prefer to be a Knick. Latrell Sprewell is his best friend and the lights don't get any brighter than around the Garden on game night. But the Knicks are severely strapped cap-wise and could only acquire Webber through a sign-and-trade deal with Sacramento, meaning the Kings would have the Knicks by the neck.


Trade could nix NY move
Presumably Sacramento could pry enough from New York for him that what the Knicks were left with wouldn't be as attractive to Webber as the supporting cast in Houston, where, by the way, he would not have to play center, his most hated position.

Whatever happens to Kelvin Cato, Webber will have the additional incentive of being able to join forces with the Hall of Famer-to-be Olajuwon. With Chris on the way, Hakeem will cut a deal of his own, guaranteed.

After how strongly Dream finished this season, there's no doubt the Rockets desire his services for an 18th season and, even with Webber in the fold, they should still have some $4.5 million left over. No other team Olajuwon might consent to play for -- he's 100 percent about winning at this final-act career juncture -- could pay him appreciably more.

Factor in the multiple first-round picks the Rockets have to use or barter with in a rich draft, plus a swank new arena coming on line in 2003-04, and Houston becomes a terribly attractive option. No pesky state income tax with which to deal, either.

And all those happy Houston fans returning to the fold in droves, again satisfied they're getting sufficient bang for their bucks. Nice move with the price freeze, Les. Thank you.

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women love me, fish fear me.

 

Smeg, It's hard to see his beautiful plumage in that photo. I was shocked to see how well you photo, however:



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women love me, fish fear me.

 

OMG, I'm gonna' pee myself.

 

ROTFLMAO!!! (and waking up the Mrs.)

What a coincidence! I'm wearing my leather whoopas dominatrix garb right now!

 

Our love life was great BGM until you rocked her world:



Now, how am I supposed to compete?

[This message has been edited by Achebe (edited May 16, 2001).]

 

oops! I had to go the 'band geek' route.