Far be it for me to talk about my personal life, but a few days ago something great happened. Something very few people have attempted to do in the history of humanity. I set an unprecedented new personal record of: 18 consecutive minutes of playing the ass bongos. Performed on 2 pairs of the firmest, yet cushiony Cinnabuns. It was a symphony one of my girlfriends would later call "Ode to Tolstov". By the end of it I was dripping with sweat and numb from what I would call the greatest performance of my, or anyone's, life. What started out as any other night, with chocolate covered strawberries and me tending to my garden, quickly turned magical. A rhythmic story was created with highs, lows, and eventually a soliloquy was introduced. For those of you who don't know what this is, I sit on the edge of my ottoman with 2 beautiful women face down, ass up, and make music. Thap Thap. Thap. Bhrahp. Shabba Dabba Dha Dha Dha. Metallic objects were introduced, fire raged from candles, and the occasion became spiritual. It was Yanni esque. Most impressive, in my opinion, was how these classy broads let their guard down around me time and time again. Cwase they know, They know. This is something special. They want to live out their fairy tale scenario's with me, I guess. Heh heh heh. Forever blessed Forever blessed Honey Bear. 2013.
If you guys only knew, the talent out there That walk thru my door You would probably cry, yourself to sleep You would probably log rite off, cuz it cuts so deep But atleast I'm heyah, sharing my joy Giving hope to those who'll always be boys Heh heh heh. I've done it again!
I was there and I can vouch for every bit of it. The bongos...the candles...the Turtle Wax. All of it. Honey Bear, it was truly spiritual. Thank you for a beautiful evening.
When I told you guys I was changing my life and giving up the pursuit of monetary means to become a Magician, I wasn't referring to pulling rabbits out of hats. I was referring to moments like these. Creating magic and glutial vibrations with the people around me. BAP. BAAAAAPPP BWAP DHOO. DHITUMP. DHITUMP. THUMP BA CHIKA AFRICAAAAAA Can you feel it? Lol, I doubt it. I'll be back with more tales of the sexy. Maybe even a professionally produced Vimeo, if you behave yourselves!
Not even going to read past the first post, he's an obvious troll. Sometimes, you gotta lean back and feel the beat. Uh huh. Do you feel it? Can you feel the sensations? Then you won't waste time in trivial pursuits. Everything will go towards creating magic
To be honest, no wax or lotion was involved. I know, I know, you're worried about friction. You have to power through the first 2-3 minutes. After this the glutes build up a sweat and you can slide your hands around pretty easily and use different echo's and vibrations. I really thought this was going to be a 5 minute thing for fun so I threw them over my lap, but it just kept growing. And growing. After the 10th minute, I was in a zone where time didn't exist. I left my body and they left theirs. It was an absolute climax of the human condition when I couldn't go on after the 18th minute. I dare anyone to try and beat this. No, wait. I double dare.
