What in God’s name is this woman thinking? My secretary is a heterosexual female with a husband and a child. There are no questions as to her sexual orientation. A heterosexual female wearing a tie is a *very* strong move. This is a move that can only be pulled off by those with a very high level of self-assuredness. This is not my secretary. She is the person who hyper-analyzes every single comment that everyone makes towards her. She is the person who feels worthless after receiving a reprimand for a job poorly done. She is the person who asks others is she is ‘gaining weight and should stop snacking’. She is highly insecure and does not hold herself in high esteem. It is therefore quite strange that she would attempt to pull off such a high powered fashion move in this manner by adorning herself with a tie today. Now she is strutting around the office like a peacock showing off her new sense of style. Despite this outward display of confidence, she acts bashful and ashamed when people make comments directed at her choice of accessories. Highly paradoxical. What exactly is this woman trying to achieve? Are we supposed to give her a one-way ticket to Milan to launch her modeling career? Is this some sort feminist attempt at eschewing the societal values that humans attribute to men and women? What exactly goes through a secretary’s mind in the morning when deciding what to wear? “Hmm…I don’t see anything in *my* closet to put on, let’s go check out my husband’s collection of ties!” What a moronic decision. I can’t wait to check out tomorrow’s ensemble of the latest in mens’ outerwear fashion.
That's what happens when you delay "laundry day." Perhaps you should dress in a nice plaid skirt tomorrow to begin the eventual waging of psychological war?
She probably screwed something up that she was suposed to do for you yesterday and is try to distract your attention from it.
Maybe you should have kept your tie on when banging her in your office last night...Better hope your wife doesn't come by the office today... "Hey, my husband has a tie just like that one!"
Maybe she wanted to wear a tie. Maybe she lost a bet with someone. Maybe she likes having things tied around her neck. Maybe she wanted attention. Maybe she has a hickey and is covering it up with the tie. Maybe she is psychotic, killed her husband, and is wearing his tie as a trophy. Maybe she is psychotic, got tired of your insane posts, and is going to strangle you with her tie.
Tie-wearing, gum smacking secretaries? Sheesh, what kind of operation are you guys running over there?
This reminds me of a time I was out with some friends and we started mingling with some girls at Downing Street Cigar Bar. While one of them was discussing her love for cigars she topped it off by saying " I just love the feeling of something big and strong in my mouth " Needless to say, each of us ranked her higher that night. I've given up on the fashion sense of my secretaries. They dress, eat and do as they wish as long as they get their work done. In 2003 we don't have the luxury of pulling a Bateman (American Psycho) and stating: "Don't wear that outfit again. C'mon, you're prettier than that. And Heels....I like Heels!" Now days that is a lawsuit waiting to happen. I think that is also why I would not hire an extremely attractive woman.
This seals it. In retaliation, I'm showing up for our holiday party with a piece of mistletoe affixed to my front beltloop.
I think your options are clear here....just put on a skirt for work and call it even. Hey if she can wear a tie then show 'em that a man can wear a skirt.
Back in the old days they use to wear an onion on their belt. It was the style at the time of course.
Yeah and you can wear your thong underneath it and whenever she starts smacking the gum again, you can hike up your skirt and stick your hairy ass in her face. When she tells you to stop you can say that you will stop putting your ass in her face when she stops smacking the gum.
