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Why does it hurt so much?

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by TMac640, Dec 2, 2007.

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  1. TMac640

    TMac640 Contributing Member

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    If it's a breakup that's initiated by me, why? I hate hurting people, even if it's not meant to be. :(
    How do I concentrate on school, what do I do?

    cue the smartass answers, i know i've earned it with some posts on here, but hopefully someone can post something helpful.
     
    #1 TMac640, Dec 2, 2007
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2007
  2. chow_yun_fat

    chow_yun_fat Member

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    It hurts cuz you just lost the best thing in your life (at the moment).
     
    #2 chow_yun_fat, Dec 2, 2007
  3. manbearpig

    manbearpig Member

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    Take a laxative.
     
    #3 manbearpig, Dec 2, 2007
  4. Buck Turgidson

    Buck Turgidson Member

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    "Time changes everything." -- Bob Wills
     
    #4 Buck Turgidson, Dec 2, 2007
  5. Harrisment

    Harrisment Member

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    Even if you feel like it's the best thing to end the relationship, you still got used to spending most of your time with that person and that is tough to let go of. I went through it last year, the difference was I was married for 5 years. I'd recommend finding a new hobby, spending time with your boys, just doing what you want to do. If after a little while you realize you really do want her back and made a mistake, then call her up and see if she's interested. Sometimes you just have to totally remove yourself from a relationship to figure out if it is or isn't what you want.
     
    #5 Harrisment, Dec 2, 2007
  6. tigermission1

    tigermission1 Member

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    Swoly Deez Nutz!

    No? Just trying to help...
     
    #6 tigermission1, Dec 2, 2007
  7. Refman

    Refman Member

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    You have to wonder if the breakup is really what you want, or if you think it is what you are supposed to do. I have known people who have broken up because they thought it was what their family wanted, or some similar thing. Follow your heart...and in time, all will be ok.
     
    #7 Refman, Dec 2, 2007
  8. OmegaSupreme

    OmegaSupreme Member

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    cue the smartass answers? yeah... i think some of your posts are ridiculous, but ridiculous in a police academy sort of way that makes me laugh (that was a compliment, btw). :)

    anyhow... first you post two threads a while back ago about things to do in houston and then you post threads about hurting people. i dunno. seems like you have an issue with people in general. have you seriously considered a psychotherapist? maybe when the semester is over?

    layoff dating folks for a while, t-40. even through you crave the contact, surely it can't be a good thing with other schit on your plate.
     
    #8 OmegaSupreme, Dec 2, 2007
  9. TMac640

    TMac640 Contributing Member

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    i have actually considered it. there's services at my college that are free (psychologists that is) and my psychology teacher has told me about them.

    it's not so much an issue with people, it's just i'm not comfortable in my own skin fully, thus i'm not as comfortable as i'd like to be with other people (this could be anyone, of course attractive girls obviously exacerbate the problem a little bit)

    do you have an email or aim omega?
     
    #9 TMac640, Dec 2, 2007
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2007
  10. OmegaSupreme

    OmegaSupreme Member

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    yes i do. tigercranestyle@gmail.com. can chat with "google talk" if you want.

    btw... take advantage of the college services. or if you're still under your folks insurance, check that out as well. in the words of dod, go see a doctor... errr... therapist.
     
    #10 OmegaSupreme, Dec 2, 2007
  11. Yaozer

    Yaozer Member

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    What I do is usually get another rebound girl on the quick. It'll help for the short term especially if you have finals going on.

    Why did you guys break up, if I may ask? If it's her fault and you guys had a fight.. I listened to Eminem's old stuff and that just turned my sadness for her into anger and add that with a rebound girl, you'll get over her quick.
     
    #11 Yaozer, Dec 2, 2007
  12. TMac640

    TMac640 Contributing Member

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    I settle for girls I don't like. That's the simplified version.

    The problem isn't that I can't get another girl with my looks, it's the problem of self-confidence being so low that I MIGHT AS WELL look like the hunchback of notre dame. I see some of these girls, I even flirt with them, but I'm like nah me and her? It'd never work. She's out of my league, she'll leave me the first time we get a fight or I mess up.

    I ended up trying to change her more and more into that girl I "should have" been dating anyway (whoever she might be). It ended up where I was picking fights half the time over nothing and it wasn't fair to her. Then again, it's not fair that I've been settling all this time too.
     
    #12 TMac640, Dec 2, 2007
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2007
  13. Yaozer

    Yaozer Member

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    Dude if you know you can get better then why settle? If the girls flirt back, I don't know how that could hurt your confidence.. in fact it should sky rocket.

    Also, this thread is worthless without pics :D
    I wonder if you really are settling or you just think you deserve a Jessica Alba.
     
    #13 Yaozer, Dec 2, 2007
  14. TMac640

    TMac640 Contributing Member

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    Lol, it's not as simple as that. "Maybe" it is to everyone else, but it's tough to change a thought process that's been the way I think for the past 21 years. Even if people genuinely like me, I'm insecure about messing up and wondering not if, but when I'll mess up.

    I'll agree with you on the why settling though. I've been trying to answer that question too for a while.
     
    #14 TMac640, Dec 2, 2007
  15. Lynus302

    Lynus302 Member

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    This indicates that you usually feel this way when a relationship has ended. Its perfectly normal when you think about it: the focus of your social life, sex life (if applicable), and love life has been removed. You've experienced a loss. In time, the feelings will pass. The only thing upon you now is to not do something stupid in an effort to mask or otherwise deal with these uncomfortable feelings/emotions.

    Remind yourself of some things and ask yourself some questions:
    Remind yourself of past girlfriends. How did you feel when those relationships ended? The same? Similar? How long did it take for those feelings to pass? What did it feel like when you realized that you were past those feelings? How did it feel to meet someone else that first time after? How did it feel to begin a new relationship?

    That kind of stuff.

    Best of luck to you. We've all been there before, and by the sound of it, so have you.
     
    #15 Lynus302, Dec 2, 2007
  16. crimemastergogo

    crimemastergogo Member

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    #16 crimemastergogo, Dec 2, 2007
  17. Hmm

    Hmm Member

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    Bull.










    The girl I still so stupidly care about.. and I did that once.. Made a mess of everything, and now we're both worse off for it..
     
    #17 Hmm, Dec 2, 2007
  18. rrj_gamz

    rrj_gamz Member

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    Sometimes, you have to raise the bar...

    Other times, well, throw the damn thing on the floor and stomp on it...

    Well, in all seriousness, you don't want to be the bad guy...Who does...When your next girl asks why you broke up with your last g/f, what'd say? You're young, don't settle and no one, I mean, no one is ever out of your league...Believe that and you too will be banging hot chicks with no personality...

    You're welcome...;)
     
    #18 rrj_gamz, Dec 2, 2007
  19. rezdawg

    rezdawg Member

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    Girlfriend of 1.5 years just broke up with me...thinking about posting pics. Haha.
     
    #19 rezdawg, Dec 2, 2007
  20. Xerobull

    Xerobull ...and I'm all out of bubblegum
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    Two words:

    Slump Buster.

    Cures what ails ya.
     
    #20 Xerobull, Dec 2, 2007
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