OK DUKE has had it up to hear with women!!! DUKE CANNOT GET A DATE and he wants to now WHY. WHAT do woman want? DUKE should have the women HANGING OFF MY EARS, I am so great. I AM a HAMSOME man, good tan (like George Harrison), big bad pectoral MUSSELS, lots of MONEY because I AM LAWYER,. DUKE has more brains than a BRAIN FACTORY. DUKE has his OWN CAR and up until that ACCEDENT with running over the Girl Scouts DUKE had a driver license TOO. But DUKE is single!!!! HOW CAN THIS BE? DUKE tries to meat women EVERY WHERE HE IS. Like when DUKE was in hospital a few weeks back, there was this hot cheeck in the bed next to me!! So like RICO SMOOTHY, DUKE leaned over and said "Hey baby, what is your siiiiiign>" (you have to draw out the sillables to sound cool). AND YOU KNOW WHAYT HER REPLY WAS. Huh? Right. NOTHING!!! She just laid there with her eyes closed, IGNORING DUKE, paying all her attention to that ventalator machine they had her attached TO. b****! Or like those MEAN WOMEN they pay to stand in the window at CLOTHES STOREs!!!! THey think they are so GOOD they donot have to even TALK to DUKE. So what the deal is??? DUKE WANTS ADVICE from some of the wommen on this board like Princess or Monkey or Rocketman95.
Duke, I found the perfect website for you: www.jailbabes.com These chicks are gonna dig you, man!!!!!!
I don't think George Harrison is getting much of a tan these days...Kinda hard to get any sun when you're inside a casket underground...
Duke, Being a married man, I can't offer much advise, so I asked some of my single female friends, and this is what they had to say: 1) Cool is no longer cool. In other words, they want a sensitive guy who isn't afraid to act a little needy or dopey. Try finding an old asthma inhaler and use it when you're near a girl you want to meet. She'll feel sorry for you and it's a great conversation starter. 2) Dress nice, but frugal. Don't go for expensive, flashy clothes. Try shopping at Goodwill. That 70's look is still in, but tuck that Star Trek t-shirt into your corduroys, and where nice black socks with those wingtips. Don’t forget the western belt and the big belt buckle. Those too are a smash this season. Baseball caps are making a comeback too; remember to pull the hat down over your ears--that's the latest style. 3) Bilingual is in. A man who can speak more than one language turns on women. I think you might have an ace in the hole here. 4) The new "new" economy says we should go back to conservation. If you have a gas-guzzler, DITCH it! A Ford Focus is the IN car, but nothing beats a vespa. Most importantly, and this one caught me by surprise 5) Au natural is back in style. This means NO cologne, no deodorant, and go light on the soap if you must take a bath. You should keep your hair neatly combed de though, but don't use any kind of hair products as they are all perfumed. The natural oils in your scalp should be plenty to keep your hair in place. Last but not least, part your hair down the middle--that one came from a friend who just got back from Paris, so you might be the first one in the states to get that back in style.
Whatever happened to that chick you met in the Weight Watchers chat room? Maybe you should give her another call. A fat girl with an eyepatch is better than no girl at all... Or is it???
I know you may have confused me for a woman because of my man t***, but rest assured, I'm nearly all man (I just wear them for comfort reasons).
Prem, Good one, that was the funniest Lhutz post of all time. I was rolling on the floor reading the Eyepatch girl story. Ah man..... DD
And here I clicked on this link thinking it was something about Duke's women's college basketball team or something . . .
OK this is the kind of FEEDBAG DUKE needs! NOW DUKE WILL ANSWER YOU!!!!!! Rockettexman: DUKE does NOT LIKE WOMEN with penisers!!! NO MORE SUGJESTIONS. A TRAIN says: I don't think George Harrison is getting much of a tan these days... WELL SORRRRR EEEEEE!!! DUKE meant Jim MOrrison, I thought that was obbvious. POLE: You have many fasanating ideas. I would like to susscribe to your newsletter. DUKE does NOT WEAR Stars Trek shirts, I GO SHIRTLESS ON MANY DAYS. If you had the big chest like me BONG BONG BONG go my pectorels you would know WHY. Rocketperson95: DUKE APOLOGIZES for assining you a gender. DUKE had you mixed up with shanna the REAL gender bender HAH AHAHA. Ha HA. THANK YOU ALL DUKE LOVE YOU
