This was e-mailed to me today. Pretty damn funny, so I thought I'd share it.......... ___________________________________________________ President: "I Did Not Have Improper Relations With That Woman: Miss Enron" Press Briefing by the President For Immediate Release Office of the Press Secretary January 11, 2002 - 9:03 A.M. EST THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. Alright, I want to get right down to business. It seems that a few of you liberal intellectuals in the press corps are doing your best to aid and abet terrorism by focusing the searing spotlight of truth on the sordid details of an alleged relationship between myself and a sexy little Houston debutante named Miss Enron. So before this nonsense goes any further, I want to state a few things for the record: • I DID NOT HAVE IMPROPER RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMAN: MISS ENRON. • Over a seven year period, I DID NOT repeatedly moan in indescribable ecstasy as she slithered her agile and velvety tongue deep inside my campaign war chest, depositing $623,000 worth of hot political love juice. • In 1999, I DID NOT squirm with unimaginable delight as she lowered her exquisite self snugly around my mighty gubernatorial staff, gently coaxing me to deregulate the Texas energy markets ever further, further, further! • Early in 2001, I DID NOT shriek in superb pleasure as she slapped my inaugural balls with check after check after check, again and again and again, until each one was left utterly spent! • Finally, just several months ago, as Miss Enron repeatedly arrived at the White House bearing her full complement of eco-political implements of gratification, I DID NOT feverishly satisfy myself upon learning of her energetic servicing of not only my partner Vice President Richard Cheney, but also every last member in his Energy Task Force club! NO, not ONE of these grotesque assertions is accurate, and to even so much as imply that they are, during this, our nation's hour of peril, is tantamount to giving Osama bin Laden himself the greasy reach-around. And needless to say, any journalist who continues down this road will find himself in a whole world of traitor's trouble. I hope I make myself my clear. No questions. Thank you.
I wonder if anyone has the time to do something similar with the Starr Report. Come to think of it, I hear Joseph Lieberman's working on it.
