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Which Was Better Plus One Year Anniversary (Almost)

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by Manny Ramirez, Apr 10, 2023.

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Which Show Was the Best?

  1. The Simpsons

    14 vote(s)
    50.0%
  2. Family Guy

    2 vote(s)
    7.1%
  3. South Park

    10 vote(s)
    35.7%
  4. Beavis & Butt-Head

    2 vote(s)
    7.1%
  1. Manny Ramirez

    Manny Ramirez The Music Man

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    So, in 2 more days, I will be reminded of the darkest time of my life. I haven't said much about this although I did elude to it in some threads in the past year. Have had some good support from @Xerobull, @FrontRunner and @Buck Turgidson - and now that the Fatso one is gone, I guess I can delve a little more into this.

    Back in 2006, I got married and felt that I was with that one special person. The marriage was definitely rocky but when our son was born in early January 2009, it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Sadly, I changed jobs in June of 2010 and took a much higher paying job that was a disaster. The only time I got fired was at this place and I got canned in late January 2011. The marriage was always hanging on by a thread and losing my job was the straw the broke the camel's back. Ridiculous fights (verbal and physical) ensued and finally by July, I had enough. We got divorced and it went final in November 2011. But some of you knew that already.

    My son grew up and we became very close; however, I knew deep down, he wanted me to go back to his mother and reunite the family. In March 2020, that is what I did - I (stupidly) got remarried but thanks to COVID, losing some income in teaching extra classes, and other things that just never improved from the first time, this 2nd marriage was doomed for failure. The biggest problem was that I tried to quit cold turkey on my anti-depressant, Citalopram. By October of 2021, I had weened myself off of it. However when 2022 came rolling around, I got super depressed over many things and found myself unable to sleep (some of you may remember me posting about that) and although I went to see a doctor to get back on Citalopram - the dosage was too much and I experienced severe side effects. The worst were 3 straight days of less than 2 hours of sleep and severe suicidal thoughts. On April 12, 2022, I wrote a suicide note for the wife and attempted suicide. I drove 30 minutes away from where I lived at the time and not being in my right mind (remember I hadn't slept in weeks), I stabbed myself about 8 times in the stomach. To this day, I still cannot believe that I did that as I felt I would never do something like that. However, you have to remember my mental state - I felt like a trapped animal and had no other alternative. When I realized I wasn't going to die (which was a good thing), I called for an ambulance (this was after contemplating driving my car off a cliff) and got admitted to Vanderbilt hospital. I stayed there for about a week - including 4 days at the psych ward. Yes, I have spent some time in a nuthouse - but it was something I needed.

    I realized that my whole life was nothing more than me worrying about other people and not caring what happened to me. The doctors all told me that the marriage was the biggest stressor in my life and that I needed to end it. Of course, my wife did not take the news well - I originally wanted a separation and not another divorce. However, she gave me an ultimatum and said that if I did not come back to her, she wanted a divorce. So she left me with no option. It took about 3 months for the pain of leaving to get better but the worst part is the damage that was caused to my son who was 13 when all this happened. She didn't want to tell him the truth (that his dad had a nervous breakdown and attempted suicide) but I don't really know what she told him other than that his dad didn't love her anymore. Needless to say, he refused to have anything to do with me. Meanwhile, after recovering from the side effects of the medicine - I was doing better and my sleep got back to the way it was (for the most part). I tried therapy for awhile but felt that they weren't telling me anything that my parents weren't already telling me. I kept trying with my son but it wasn't until last October that he finally broke down and visited me for the first time since everything went down. He only comes once a month but we do talk on the phone once a week.

    Then last Thursday, he reached out to me and wanted to see The Super Mario Bros. movie with me. I, of course, accepted and it was a really good movie! We then got to talking about The Simpsons (he had been watching them for awhile) along with Family Guy and South Park (he had never watched them when I was with him but got into them over the past summer). So we watched some classic episodes of both along with Beavis and Butt-Head and for the first time (in a year), we are bonding and it feels so good! So, I thought I should ask Clutchfans which show was the best: The Simpsons, Family Guy, South Park, or Beavis and Butt-Head.

    I cannot thank my parents enough for being there for me along with you guys and all my friends that I have made through bridge. Of course, my music has gotten me through this as well. If you are suffering from high-functioning depression (like me), please hit me up if you want to talk about it. You are NOT alone in the struggle with this disease but with the right medicine, therapy, support groups, hobbies, etc., you can still have a great life as I am living proof of it.
     
  2. IBTL

    IBTL Member

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    Thank you for sharing your story man. Very touching and so sorry you've had to go through all of that. I, too, struggle with depression and am pretty open about it when these kinds of threads come up. I think sharing about it helps the healing process and you can meet some cool people from the BBS along the way too that could be invaluable for support!

    I take meds, do my 1-2 times a month therapy sessions, have a good support network but some days are still challenging. Some interesting times for sure for me as well. New job after failing miserably at a higher paying job and almost getting fired. Have a great wife that helps me out a lot when I'm not always able to help myself.

    I'm here if you need an ear. My answer for me is probably Family Guy. Happy to DM you my number as well. I'm Travis :)
     
  3. Manny Ramirez

    Manny Ramirez The Music Man

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    In getting to the poll, give me convincing arguments on why you voted what you voted. It will help me to choose as of right now, I am torn with all 4 choices.
     
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  4. IBTL

    IBTL Member

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    Convincing? Eh, I just like it haha. The Simpsons to me I lost interest in a decade ago or two. Never was a South Park guy much. Didn't like Beavis and Butthead.
     
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  5. Manny Ramirez

    Manny Ramirez The Music Man

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    Thanks dude - I am pretty open about everything and that has gotten me burned in the past when it was used against me (most notably by the Fat ahole) so I learned what to share and not to share. However, I do feel passionate about this as I think it is something that many people don't really understand. I was on 20 mg of Citalopram this past fall and got the worst teaching observation by this new boss and it caused me to relapse for a week. I eventually got bumped up to 30 mg of Citalopram and I have found that there is literally nothing that would cause me to break down and cry (something that happened to me a lot this past summer). Therapy, I think is good, it is just a matter of finding the right one. Living in a small town, there aren't a lot options other than going to Nashville and then even then, worrying if insurance is going to cover. This 2nd divorce drained me quite a bit on finances and forced me to move back in with my folks but they are getting in their 80s and I promised them that they would not go to a home on my watch.

    But I agree that sharing helps with the healing process and it is always good to know that we are not alone!
     
  6. IBTL

    IBTL Member

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    Sure, I understand. I wouldn't be doing any silly immature **** like doxxing you if you chose to share whatever you want to share.

    Always a great thing to know we are not alone. There are so many people out there that could use a good friend in their corner if nothing else. I'm on Viibryd 40 mg , Rexulti 4 mg and various other meds for different chronic conditions lol. I'm like a human pharmacy! But all do help me in some way or another.
     
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  7. Manny Ramirez

    Manny Ramirez The Music Man

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    The Simpsons have always been my favorite but I think they have long outstayed their welcome. They probably peaked around season 10 and everything since then has been disappointing for the most part. Beavis and Butt-Head, especially the new episodes, have been great - they are so STUPID that you can't help but laugh. South Park, I think, is the most out there but the few episodes (the Scientology one, Scott Tenorman Must Die, etc.) have had some really good laugh out loud moments. But I am beginning to agree with you on Family Guy as it seems to be the most consistent one of the four.
     
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  8. Slyonebluejay

    Slyonebluejay Member
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    Sorry to hear about what you have lived with. Glad your son is back in your life. My parents divorced when I was 8. For a couple years we had contact with my dad, then he disappeared. Long story short, several years later he reached out to me. He was not doing well, still living in Pennsylvania. I had moved to Texas. He passed away a few months later. I never really got the face to face closure we really needed. I tell anyone who will listen, get right with your parents before they are gone. You can't go back in time.
    As far as the poll, South Park for me. They get everyone in a clever way. Always great. I like the other shows also. Just like South Park the best.
    Best of luck to you
     
  9. Manny Ramirez

    Manny Ramirez The Music Man

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    Sorry about your dad Sly - I was pretty bitter back in August and September and came to a point of giving up but several teaching colleagues of mine shared their personal experiences and like you, they regretted how things went with the “non-custodial” parent. They told me not to give up and that there would come a time where my son would realize that I still loved him and that the divorce was not his fault.

    The thing that hurt the most was that he was really close to my mom and although he speaks to her, that closeness has been eroded. Part of it is him being a teenager and thinking it’s not cool to hang out with his grandparents but as time goes on, I am hoping that he will get out of that phase. As much as it hurts my parents that he is “cool” to them, they would rather see him interact with me and get close again. That is why I love my parents so much as that is true love right there.
     
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  10. VooDooPope

    VooDooPope Love > Hate
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    Thanks for sharing Manny. Hope you're feeling well and learning to navigate all of life's challenges. We all have our own demons and struggles and some are easier to care for than others. All the best to you in continuing to bond with your son while navigating the challenges with the x-Wife.
     
  11. ima_drummer2k

    ima_drummer2k Contributing Member

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    Damn, Manny, I knew you had gone through some stuff but had no idea to what extent. Thanks for sharing your story and I'm glad you seem to have come out okay on the other side. I wish you continued good things, along with everyone else in this thread who has or is struggling with depression.

    On a much lighter note, I definitely think you win the award for most extreme non sequitur leading to a question about Beavis and Butthead in the history of this or any other BBS.
     
  12. boomboom

    boomboom I GOT '99 PROBLEMS
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    I'm down with Family Guy. Will rewatch endlessly. Get your tomatoes ready...I also like The Cleveland Show.

    Gotta say that if my primary physician hadn't prescribed me sertraline (zoloft), I don't know where I would be. There was a huge cloud over me for a long time and it was getting worse...and sertraline seemed to even things out. I still go through depression phases, just nothing to the extent I was when I wasn't taking anything. Bi-weekly therapy also seems to help...although they are tough finding out how screwed up you really are and how many of your (my) problems are usually your (my) fault. For anyone who is struggling, please reach out to someone for help. Your doctor, a friend, HR, your religious leader or maybe a neighbor. There is help out there and things can get better. It takes time, some pain and thinking...but eventually you can turn things around.

    Manny...thanks for being open.
     
  13. droxford

    droxford Member

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    Tough choices..

    Here's my train of though and why I chose South Park

    The Simpsons = the classic edgy cartoon. It is a legend and still an amazing show. Nowadays, it's a little too PC and not edgy enough

    Family Guy = VERY edgy! It's a close runner-up. But South Park wins and here's why....

    South Park = Not just edgy, but I voted for this because they are the best at producing shows that address current events. Since they crank out episodes in one week, they're able to make fun of the current issues very well. The makers are not afraid offending anyone, and, acutually HAVE to offend everyone in order to be fair.

    Beavis & Butthead = Pretty funny, but after a while, it feels like the same old thing, over and over
     
  14. Manny Ramirez

    Manny Ramirez The Music Man

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    Haha, you’re right. I thought about 2 separate threads but those shows are what is re-connecting me with my son. What was funny was that my son called me on Saturday night to tell me that his mother had snooped around and read his texts to me about FG, SP, etc. I figured I would get the hammer brought down on me but instead he came up with a plan to circumvent her interference and still talk to me. After talking to me about what he wanted to do in recommending future episodes, it left little doubt that he is truly my son, lol.
     
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  15. Manny Ramirez

    Manny Ramirez The Music Man

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    Haha, you’re right. I thought about 2 separate threads but those shows are what is re-connecting me with my son. What was funny was that my son called me on Saturday night to tell me that his mother had snooped around and read his texts to me about FG, SP, etc. I figured I would get the hammer brought down on me but instead he came up with a plan to circumvent her interference and still talk to me. After talking to me about what he wanted to do in recommending future episodes, it left little doubt that he is truly my son, lol.
     
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  16. Invisible Fan

    Invisible Fan Contributing Member

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    That's some heavy reading, ManRam. I can't imagine inflicting that much pain upon myself if I were pushed to my limit. It seemed like you wanted to send a message that was equal to the pain you felt trapped under. I'm glad you're still with us and recovering.

    Depression triggers are learned and conditioned behavior that stays with you like riding a bike. It's never one thing but rather smells, feelings, and thoughts that combine into a sink hole. I don't think the "person lying on the couch" dialectic you see in pop psychotherapy fully addresses this because our traumas are tailored to us. You have to be more focused on the prompt with your shrink or find one who can help you see what things/events cause you to avoid or up your antidepressant. Talking about this and finding allies is also helpful and potentially cheaper in the long run. I would suggest finding a survivor group as you have better chances at finding someone who would understand you at that moment.

    Sometimes we avoid reliving our lowest moments, but you have to dive deep and come back because you're not only living for yourself now.

    This place is great for shooting ****, but that group or others like it will eventually give you a support network or measure to understand yourself better. Channeling that pain is pretty hard for all of us. We just don't like displaying it because we're taught it's not okay to admit it. Still gotta find your own way though.
     
  17. Xerobull

    Xerobull You son of a b!tch! I'm in!

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    For me, it’s South Park all the way. Cutting social commentary about all idiocy with crude but clever humor.

    For viewing with a teenager, I think Beavis and Butthead is probably the best because it’s just plain dumb high school humor.

    Simpsons is an institution. All of my kids love it. But it’s not the best on the list… but it is the most accessible and younger kids can watch it.

    Family Guy is the perfect show for Gen-X with the deep sarcasm and nostalgic 80s references. It’s hilarious and I love it too.

    Give Rick and Morty a try if you’re watching those other shows with your son. It’s no more crass or graphic and it’s actually really smart and funny.

    I’m glad you’re on the mend. Call me if it ever gets dark again. I’ve been there.
     
    #17 Xerobull, Apr 10, 2023
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2023
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  18. Manny Ramirez

    Manny Ramirez The Music Man

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    Oh, I didn’t mean to do a double post - sorry about that.

    It took some time for me to accept that I suffer from depression but once I accepted it, I do feel better. I still get some people who think that this is temporary or whatever but I am a big believer in brain chemistry and I have seen what life is like off the meds and that is a path I do NOT want to go down.

    I want to thank you guys for sharing your own personal experiences- this is why I have been on this site for over 20 years. The camaraderie and close knit community can’t be beat and let’s face it- being a Rocket fan right now is enough to put anyone into a deep depression, lol. But hey Silas is gone and if we can get Wemby then just maybe things will be so much better. :)
     
  19. rocketsjudoka

    rocketsjudoka Contributing Member
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    Manny thanks for sharing and good to hear that you’re reconnecting with your son.

    I think all of us suffer from periodic darkness and the last few years has been particularly hard for many of us. It’s good that you can speak openly about your own struggles and your own experiences.

    For me the discipline and camaraderie of Judo greatly helps. Like you playing music does too. I also very much believe in the Buddhist idea that suffering is innate to existence and understanding that helps us get beyond that.
     
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  20. OkayAyeReloaded

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    The Simpsons were the first of its kind and led to the others being classics as well IMO.

    Sorry to hear you went through that, but it sounds like the journey taught you a lot, you've grown a lot as a person and enjoy developing your relationship with your son. Glad you found successful habits that work for you and that last paragraph is very inspirational as well. We're all works in progress, God bless if you believe (pardon me if you don't, meant with good intentions).
     
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