I accept that everyone needs a job and that, as a result, telemarketers are an inevitable fact of life. But I just took a call from a woman who, after I very politely informed her that I already had two low-APR credit cards and was not interested in either her current offer or any further solicitations, rudely interrupted me to try to press the issue. Right as I was asking her to remove me from the mailing list-- she just butted in and blurted out, "OK, fine, but if I could just..." No, you cannot just. I already told you in the simplest English I speak that I am not at all interested. Your job now is to take me off your annoying list, apologize for the interruption, politely thank me for my time, and hang the hell up. I am accepting suggestions for ways to convince the next caller that, when I say "No thanks", I am 100 percent serious and that more "salesmanship" (reading off a prepared script) will not change my mind. How about, "NO! NO! **** NO! NOT IN A MILLION ****ING YEARS!!!"
WOW! I had something very similar happen once. But I ended up having to hang up on the girl after I politely told her time and again I was not interested. She had the nerve to call me back and say,"Get some manners!" and hung up on me. I strolled over to the caller ID and called back, asked for a manager, talked to the manager, got the CEO's name and address, and proceeded to write letters about this girl to everyone I could. I wonder if she is still employed there?!
They show up on your Caller ID, they never do on mine, they show up as unidentified - soliciters are the only ones who do, so I just hang up the phone without talking to them. Or tell them they have the wrong number.
It was a main number, not her direct line (which she probably does not have a DID, as most call center agents don't). So I explained what happened to the operator that answered, and she trasferred me to the proper authorities. But you are right, more often than not, they show up unavailable. Ironically, I used to be a switch programmer, and I have built switch database for about 12 MCI outbound telemarketing centers. If they call you, ask them if they have an Intecom phone on their desk.... It's funny, I'll ask them where they are when they call me...and I'll tell them I made the phone on their desk work. Then I tell them I am not interested. They seem to take it better.
If I get a solicitor of any kind, I either scream at them and hang up, start speaking jibberish and hang up, or ask them if they would just hold on a second while I answer the door, then I leave the phone off the hook until it makes that annoying sounds that indicates the other line hung up. If the telemarketers can't handle any of this, then I figure they shouldn't be in that business.
Everyone has to make a living, so I think you did the right thing in politely declining. It only gets nasty when they ignore you. Then I favor the Samuel L Jackson approach... "ENGLISH MOTHER ****ER, DO YOU SPEAK IT!?!"
One of my parents' friends has great fun messing with the telemarketers (why, I'm not sure). They're always inventing new things to tell those scumbags. My favorite: One time, the wife answered the phone, followed by the familiar "Hello, is Mr. [last name badly butchered] there?" Her reply: "No, but if you do happen to get a hold of him, tell that son of a b**** he owes me child support money..." Okay, it's not that funny, but you don't know these people...
I was a telemarkter last summer (I waited too long and the place here hires you on the spot) and i just wanted to say that you are TRAINED to get your spill in no matter what. On some products there are up to 35 different scripted responses depending on how the other person rejects you. I hated the job and most of the time I'd just sell the minimum amount of junk and then just start logging calls by calling people and hanging up if they sounded like the type of person who would get mad at a telemarketer.
my favorite telemarketer response goes something like this: them: may I speak with Mr. Chievous Minniefield? me: He's not here right now. them: Is there someone else I could speak with? me: No. them: When would be a better time to call back? me: About 4:30 in the morning. [silence] them: Okay. Bye. [click]
Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I like to turn the lights down, pour some Hawaiian Punch, sit back and let the images of Richard Dreyfuss consume.
The worst are the ones that put you on hold before a ****ing telemarketer comes up. Last week, one of the asses called RM95's Girl. Just let me tell you, I ain't pissin' her off anytime soon.
Tell them you're busy. Ask them for their home number and tell them you'll call 'em back at home. If they won't comply, say goodbye and hang up. Thanks, Jerry Seinfeld.
Typically it isn't you being put on hold. Usually oubound telemarketing centers have a dialer application that queries a data source for a phone number. Once it gets the number, it tells the switch to dial said number. The switch dials, and then through tone detection, it can fairly accurately tell if it's human speech, voice mail, fax tone, etc. If it detects human speech (you saying "hello?"), it will then route the call to an available agent. That's where the delay comes in.....the time it takes between speech detection and routing to an agent. Oftentimes, if you have to say hello twice, hang up, it's probably a telemarketer. Then the PC will get a screen pop of customer information (even in you aren't a customer, they have access to your address and other things), and they can then say their spiel. That was Outbound Call Center 101.
OK, they bug me on a dialy basis. My problem is, I am a very polite guy, so I have to let them finish. I think their calls are recorded, so they have to get out a certain amount of their message. ANyways, one time, I got a call and I was running late for work so I politely said "can't talk I'm running late for work." He responds, rather arrogantly, "would you mind being late for work if I can save you money?" I told him with contempt in my voice to take me off of his call list. Next time, I'm gonna ask for his supervisor and tell him that his employee sucked and because of that reason, I'm gonna find out who his chief competitor is and give them my unsolicited business.
Telemarketer Revenge: One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went something like this: Me: Hello AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T... Me: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes This is AT&T... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please? Me: May I ask who is calling? AT&T: This is AT&T. Me: OK, hold on. At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting. Me: Hello? AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron? Me: May I ask who is calling please? AT&T: Yes this is AT&T... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes this is AT&T... Me: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Byron? Me: Yes, is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes sir. Me: The phone company? AT&T: Yes sir. Me: I thought you said this was AT&T. AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company. Me: I already have a phone. AT&T: We aren't selling phones today Mr. Byron. Me: Well whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks for calling. When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested", but this lady was persistent. AT&T: Mr. Byron we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute but she at no time used the word rate. I could clearly see that it was time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering. Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day? AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes sir that's right! 24 hours a day! Me: 7 days a week? AT&T: That's right. Me: 365 days a year? AT&T: Yes sir. Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing! AT&T: We think so! Me: That's quite a sum of money! AT&T: Yes sir, it's amazing how it ads up. Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance? AT&T: Excuse me? Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute. AT&T: What are you talking about? Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment. AT&T: Oh no sir I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute. Me: Wait a minute here!!! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a minute? Are you sure this is AT&T? AT&T: Well, yes this is AT&T sir but...... Me: But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer you know. Don't use your alien brainwashing techniques on me! AT&T: No sir we are offering 10 cents a minute for..... Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please! AT&T: Sir I don't think that is necessary. Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later? AT&T: What? Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor! AT&T: Yes Mr. Byron. Please hold on. So now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin to eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few minutes and while I have a mouth full of food: Supervisor: Mr. Byron? Me: Yeth? Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program. Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth? Supervisor: Yes sir, it sure is. I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort. Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan. Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you. Me: Thank you. I was on hold once again and was getting really hungry. I needed to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone. AT&T: Hello Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan? Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never have enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother... AT&T: (click) by Robert Byron
Treeman, that is the funniest thing I have ever read. The Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth? almost made me fall out of my chair.
Yeah, I try and be polite-- it's only a nuisance, not nearly as bad as the people that show up at my door and won't take "no" for an answer. But enough about the police... I get between five and ten of these per week. I can tell because the Caller ID says, "Unavailable" and because they leave messages on my machine-- evidently, they don't know they're talking to a machine, so the message is either "Hello...? Hello....? Uh... hello?" or "Yeth, ith Mr. Cagey there? Hello?"
Kagy - the ones who come to the door are far easier to get rid of. Make it known that you're a gun-toting tri-sexual satanist, and they will run like hell... The telemarketers won't buy it though, and will continue with the script. I've actually had a couple of telemarketers yell/scream at me - even when I was being polite, and my noodles were spilling out of the pot and onto the stovetop... That's when all you can do is 'Click'. BTW, do not ever donate any $ to any association claiming to represent police officers' families - at least not over the phone. If they call you soliciting funds, then they are frauds. The real orgs that do that fundraising don't do telemarketing. Just FYI.
