We threw a lawn party to celebrate our First Annual NC Texas Independence Day. We invited a bunch of people on a REGRETS ONLY basis. About a third showed up (50 families). About a third kindly called with an apology for not being able to attend and about a third neither showed nor called to express regrets. We dropped about eight hundred dollars on table and chair rentals and on beer and wine and soda for those invited who didn't express regret about attending. As a result, we had twice as much beer and drinks and twice as many tables and chairs as we needed. I can plow through a case of beer in a year or more... It's a busy time of year (spring real estate, kids soccer and baseball, etc) but you'd think people would have the courtesy to call and acknowledge our invitation if they knew they couldn't come. I feel slighted. Some of the invitees I barely knew, i.e. nodding acquaintances from the community but they are people that I wanted to get to know better. Remember your manners...
It is poor manners, but I'd only send a "regrets only" RSVP to people I know well. And as you can see from some of the responses in this thread............people don't always understand the concept. You'd think it would be common sense/knowledge, but I've discovered it really isn't. Surely someone here can help you with the beer though.
yeah, I had to google this term after I read this post. Apparently, it's like RSVP, except you only respond if you are not coming. It sounds like a really stupid idea and I don't know why you'd want to invite people to an event using this method. Why should I have to take the time to respond to something that I get invited to if I don't want to go? Especially if I don't even know the person inviting me very well. It just doesn't make sense why the burden should be placed on your potential guests.
It is common (well, I guess not so common) manners. Hosting a party is not inexpensive. If you are going to the time, trouble, and expense of hosting a party, the "burden" of an invited guest (even if the relationship between guest and host is casual at best) to let the host know they can't attend is negligible next to the host's burden of either paying extra to accommodate no-shows or even worse--not providing enough if too many people show up.
Seems kind of odd to expect someone who isn't coming to your party to return an envelope stating as much. But yeah, I get what you're saying. It's really hard to plan a party when you don't know how many people will show up. We (or more specifically, my in-laws) went through this with our wedding a few months ago. Some of my friends who I KNEW were coming never even sent in their STAMPED RSVP. Their response was "well, you know I'm coming" to which I would say "just write your name and stick it in the mailbox, you lazy ****...." I mean, the envelopes were already STAMPED for ****s sake.
You should have doesn RSVPs to get a better number....regrets only is a tough call to make with people you don't know, they would be less inclined to call.... The bigger question is....did you have fun? DD
If only they knew how much those f'ing invites cost. Hosting a party when you're an adult is a bit different than a college keg'er. My guess is the ladies here pretty much all know what "regrets only" means. This is definitely a situation where they should educate their men.
First of all, did you even tell them what "regrets only" means? I didn't know what it means till this thread. And also some people may not be home, or haven't checked their mail box for a while. Sending regrets only type invitation sounds like a stupid idea in the first place. But if you do send those out, I think you should at least call them and make sure they got the invitation and know what it means.
I agree. What if it got lost in the mail? Unless someone says they are coming, I'm not counting on them showing up.
even if you stamp and address a return RSVP like i did at the wedding, you still get about that split that send it with a YES, send it with a NO and don't send at all. it makes every bride go crazy when you are planning for $140 per person in food, favors, cake, program, etc. the worst is when they say they are coming and don't show. that's the first thing my husband and i did when we sat down at our wedding, we looked around the room and were tabbing who all the empty seats were. ridiculous and rude....and they are my own friends. def be considerate of planners. also, if it ONLY says your name on the invite, do NOT assume you can bring a date. ask before you do it b/c the bride will prob say no like i did.
"Regrets Only" is not common knowledge. It is a bit odd that you assume it is. People don't even want to take surveys that won't take more than two minutes. He's just mad. Let him vent.
I think that's kind of a dick move. Who wants to go to a wedding by themselves? Weddings are stupid an boring as it is, it's even worse if you have to endure it by yourself. If you can't afford to let someone bring a date, don't invite them.
You have to expect it. Most people just don't have manners like they did in our grandparent's time. About 10 people that I invited to my wedding RSVPed and didn't show. I chewed them all out- like rubytuesday said, it's fairly expensive for each and every person.
Even if I had never heard the term "regrets only", I think I could figure out what it meant pretty easily, provided I was over the age of 12.
I have such great manners that I'm offering to take the extra beer and wine off of your hands, free of charge even. Just give me an addy and I'm there.
