I got to thinking about stupid stuff I've done in my life, and I thought of when I was either 13 or 14, I went to the Steve Francis Basketball Camp at Westside after his rookie season. I was so excited cause I LOVED Steve and was going to be able to meet him face-to-face. Well we were separated into groups, and I was the only girl and only white person in my group of 15. Steve was kind of going around to all the groups as we did layup and ball handling drills. He made it to our group while we were in layup lines. We were on one of those stand-up goals that had cement blocks holding it down. They were set up all over the gym because of the limited number of glass goals. He stood and watched, cheering us on. When it got to my turn, I felt a surge of adrenaline. I took it to the hole and made the basket, but then ran right into the cement blocks, bruising my shins badly. I was so used to the glass goals that were hung from the rafters. I could just lay up the ball and run through all in one fluid motion. At the angle these mobile goals were set, I ran right into the back part of it. Steve and the rest of the guys in my group are like "ohhhh, damn! are you okay?" I brush it off like nothing happened. This was in front of my IDOL. My face was so red, but I got up and got back in the line, even though my shin was on fire. The sad part of this story is that I did it again. Next time around. It was just an instinct to keep going after I shot the layup. My leg was bleeding really bad and I was on the floor. Some of the guys were laughing and Steve had that look of disbelief with a hand over his mouth. I was so effing embarrassed. My group leader made me go to the trainer's room to have it bandaged up. The only good thing that came out of it was Cuttino Mobley was in there, and I got to talk to him. But seriously...I look back on that and cringe. I tripped twice in front of my hero and 15 ballers who I were dying to impress. From that day on, I lost all street cred. Anyone had something more embarrassing happen to them?
I once was at a panel discussion in front of about 100 people. I mistook a large piece of banana taffy for bubble gum. I put it in my mouth, and then realized my mouth was kinda stuck, so I had to chew the whole thing. Just then the panel discussion leader asked me what I thought of the topic. And there I was chewing this piece of taffy, not able to speak. Everyone kind of looked at me weird, as why I had suddenly gone mute, and was chewing bubble gum and not spitting it out. After about 20 seconds of sheer panic, I got up and walked out. Everyone looked at me like I was kinda insane, but then when I walked in it was even more awkward for a little bit. I had to explain I was eating taffy and couldn't speak. Then this jerk on the panel goes, "It begs the question, why are you eating banana taffy in the first place?" I wanted to reply, "It begs the question, why an idiot such as yourself is invited to this panel discussion," but I didn't say anything.
I once asked Warren Moon for his autograph... for the seventh time... I was already like 21 or so... He remembered me... had this "OMG I hope he's not a stalker" look on his face... So yea. I realized I was a little old for autographs from another grown man at that point.
8th grade, gym class, girls on the bleachers, guys on the court, my shorts and underwear around my ankles....'nuff said.
7th grade, Spanish class. my nose was itchy, a huge booger was wedged up there. I went at it tentatively first because I was trying to stay alert about anyone catching me. Turns out it's a big one, I get fascinated and forget about paying attention, finally dig it out and see 4 classmates staring at me with disgust. Noone shook my hand for a week after that. But damn it felt good to get that out.
oh yea, i once farted in one of my college classes. i was having some serious gas that day. it was the longest class of my life.
6th grade. I was in music class and in this class a girl who I had a crush on was in there too. Me and a friend of mine named Shannon were sitting there telling jokes and what not at out desks in front of the class. I am sitting diagonally toward Shannon when he says something very funny. At the same time the girl leans over to tap my back and ask me a question. I let off a very, very loud gas bomb. Worst experience of my life. Now when I think about it though it is funny.
When I worked at Enterprise Rent A Car, we had a company-wide basketball tournament, so we put a rag-tag team together. We won our first game on one of the side courts. Barely. So we were feeling pretty good about ourselves. Then we were matched up with the inner-loop team. These guys were a bunch of semi-pro's. They played at Fonde every weekend, etc. Shortest guy was about 6'3. You get the picture... They started toying with us when they saw how horrible we were. To make matters worse, this was on the center court instead of one of the side courts so everyone was watching. I got dunked on HARD several times. At one point, some dude bounced the ball off my head "And One" style while I was trying to guard him and the whole place started going crazy. Oh yeah, forgot to add.... We ordered jerseys and mine was too small, so I looked like Chubby from the movie Teen Wolf. Worst day ever.
LOL...that totally reminded me of this guy I knew named Jamison. When we were in junior high he would sit at his desk and pick his nose nonstop. He held his left hand over his picking action as if people wouldn't be able to tell what he was doing. But we all saw the picking, and we all saw him eat what was on his finger every 2 minutes.
I was playing in a soccer game when I was 11. Warming up before the game I looked sown an noticed a good amount of mud on my legs. (this is 1981 when shorts were really short). I then realized it wasn't mud. I had **** all over myself. The weird thing is that I never felt it. I was shocked and started crying like a baby for some reason. I had to go tell my dad and he drove me home while I sat on the floorboard of the car. I missed the game. My parents then had to force me to go to the next practice. Only one ****er gave me hell about it and he even mentioned it our senior year in high school. I hate that guy.
Highschool, Sophomore year. This was a highschool that seemed like it was from the '50's. I say that because Seniors really were treated like they were special, so was the football team, and cheerleaders. It was kind of like Dazed and Confused in as far as the initiation stuff goes. So I'm joining the drama club known as the Thesbians. I'm a sophomore and still low man on the totem pole at school. I also play soccer, and generally get along well with folks. I had one teacher who I did not get along with and she put me into CDC for a day(on campus suspension). You had to sit there, not talk, do work, and be removed from your regular classes and lunch with the other students. The folks in there were always the delinquents and stoners. The stereotypical atheletic coaches are in charge of the class. On my initiation day is when I have to go there. The thesbians made me wear make-up, tights, a tutu, and a leotard ballerina outfit. So I am sitting there with all that crap on, while the tough delinquents and football coaches are staring at me like I was insane.
I think I'm in 8th grade and one of the hottest girls in my school moves in down the street from me, my friend and I are riding our bikes back and forth stalker like to hopefully catch her walking out side... Well, when we are riding toward her house we notice that she is coming out side so I start pedaling as hard as I could toward her...As I was approaching this girl I tried to look cool and pull a wheelie off the side of a neighbors driveway going WAY TOO FAST.. I knew I was in trouble when I launched in the air and the front wheel was at eye level, I came down REALLY hard and the bike hit the ground and managed to deck her so hard she fell backward into the mail box.. I was bleeding all over from the road rash and she was squealing like a little pig because it hurt that bad.. I was hurt somewhat badly, but my friend couldn’t help but laugh at the whole situation, even though he said it was only the part about her squealing like a pig…Her parents came out and took her inside while my friend and I rode back to my place to get fixed up.. I never had the courage to even make eye contact with her let alone talk to her and ask if she was OK and from then on I avoided her at all costs..
Around summer on Okinawa we tend to run out of fresh water. So the Army would bring in these water tanks for the schools. But because they did this we were allowed to bring in our own containers of water. Well a good friend and I decided to fill our canteens with vodka. Since we shared the first three classes together it turned into quite a party for us. Until third period health class. I had to piss...BAD. Teacher was not buying my excuse for leaving class (back then I skipped a lot of class heading for the beach). So I sat there in the back of my class shaking my legs like a mad man. Being somewhat drunk I let her rip after I couldn't hold it any longer. The sound of dripping water had everybody looking back at Ken and me. And KEN was looking at me. Sheesssh...never lived that one down. RR
i wish i was lying. i was picked on regularly in school. that was a pretty fukd up moment in my life. but what's life w/o a little bit of embarrassment, right?
One of my friends is always glutton for punishment. For some reason his wife and he always seem to tell us the most embarrassing stories ever. If for some reason this happened to me, I'd never tell a soul. And I'd probably kill my girlfriend/wife and bury her in the desert if she told anyone. Especially if that anyone was like me because I'd never hear the end of it. They had been dating a few months and he was spending the night at her house. For some reason in the middle of the night he **** in her bed. This is a grown man, over 30 years old that **** the bed. While it isn't something that I really wanted to know about my friend, it is awfully convenient when we are talking crap to each other because I can always end it by saying, "Well at least I don't **** the bed." Game Set Match.
